USA Today hired conservative firebrand Ann Coulter to cover the DNC. Apparently they did so without ever having read one of her columns. Ms. Coulter turned in her first piece and USA Today promptly refused to publish it. Now, if she was a liberal you can be sure we'd have dozens of washed up rock stars and Michael Moore screaming "censorship!!" and "1st Amendment".

While I respect USA Today's right to publish what they want, I think they're just incredibly stupid. How could they not know what to expect from Coulter? Clearly, someone hired her without even the most elementary knowledge of her writing style. Is this how liberals run a business?

So anyway, Coulter's column is up on her website and it's a beauty. I sincerely wish thousands and thousands of business travelers could have had their coffee with it this morning. In fact, I love it so much that I have to post a few excerpts.

Coulter claims she can tell right away who her fellow conservatives lurking at the DNC are. They have cross or flag pins, they're the cops and the pretty girls. Why the pretty girls?

As for the pretty girls, I can only guess that it's because liberal boys never try to make a move on you without the UN Security Council's approval. Plus, it's no fun riding around in those dinky little hybrid cars. My pretty-girl allies stick out like a sore thumb amongst the corn-fed, no make-up, natural fiber, no-bra needing, sandal-wearing, hirsute, somewhat fragrant hippie chick pie wagons they call "women" at the Democratic National Convention.

On the Democratic way of "supporting our troops":

The nuts in the cages are virtual Bertrand Russells compared to the official speakers at the Democratic Convention. On the basis of their placards, I gather the caged-nut position is that they love the troops so much, they don't want them to get hurt defending America from terrorist attack. Support the troops, the signs say, bring them home.

That's my new position on all government workers, except the 5% who aren't useless, which is to say cops, prosecutors, firemen and U.S. servicemen. I love bureaucrats at the National Endowment of the Arts funding crucifixes submerged in urine so much -- I think they should go home. I love public school teachers punishing any mention of God and banning Christmas songs so much -- I think they should go home.

Oh man, I don't support all of Coulter's positions, but you just gotta love someone who starts a column by refering to this week's event as the "Spawn of Satan convention".

Of course, liberals will whine about these nasty Republicans. And of course, they will put on a good face in front of the TVs this week. But, rest assured, in the halls and backrooms of the convention, Bush=Hitler, conservatives=digital brownshirts and France=our ally.