As we do on each and every Wictory Wednesday. Please donate your time or money to the Bush/Cheney campaign.

As I've revealed several times before, Election Day is my birthday, so I expect to wake up on November 3rd with a hangover. But, dear readers, don't let me wake up to the spector of a John Kerry presidency. I beg of you to save me. Save us all, because Kerry is so very...

1. Hypocritical: Can you believe he has the gall to ask Congress to come back to work in August? It's like the time I heard a Madison bum tell someone who wouldn't give him money to "get a job".

2. Hoity-Toity: If a man can't stomach a single Wendy's lunch, how is he going to handle the other tough tasks of the Presidency. And, I mean actual tough tasks, not eating at Wendys. And don't forget, John Kerry is not like you and me. Our lives are completely foreign to him. And vice versa (oh, but if you do happen to live the good life like Senator Kerry, feel free to give send me a line).

3. French looking: Senator Kerry seems awfully eager make sure that France agrees with American foreign policy decisions. Perhaps a little too eager, if you know what I mean. And I think you do, haw haw haw.

4. Foolish: A man who marries one of the richiest widows in America probably can't accurately be called a fool. However, to let said wife run off at the mouth repeatedly and then claim that America will love her for it is more than a little foolish. Americans are afraid of extremists on either end of the political spectrum and THK is starting to represent the far left of the Kerry/Edwards ticket, which is a flank that they'd rather not expose.

5. Ignorant: While Senator Kerry is probably a smart man (although the fact that he voted against pretty much everything Reagan did makes me question that), he is ignorant of this, and the other fabulous sites that participate in Wictory Wednesday. C'mon John, visit us. Make some comments. The more the merrier!