The Churchills: Winston vs. Ward
I'm afraid that Ward Churchill is giving all "Churchills" a bad name. So, in the spirit of reminding the world that "Churchill" hasn't always been synonymous with "asshat", here's a handy chart to help differentiate between Winston and Ward.
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| Some of his ancestors were... | American | American (pdf) |
| Famous for putting _____ in his mouth | Cigars | His foot |
| As a young man fought in... | The Sudan and in the Boer War, where he famously escaped after being captured | Vietnam, where uh, no one seems to really know what he did |
| Learned... | How to fly as part of establishing the Royal Naval Air Service | How to make bombs and passed those skills on to the Weather Underground |
| Nazis... | Were "a monstrous tyranny never surpassed in the dark and lamentable catalogue of human crime." | Inhabited the World Trade Center |
| America... | Was a great ally, "linked in a righteous comradeship of arms". | Should be off the planet. Out of existence altogether." |
| _____ is "a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma" | Russia | His academic background |
| Political philosophy... | "Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." | Took and taught lots of classes in Marxism |
| Embodied... | British resiliance | American asshattery |
| Famous quote... | "We shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender." | "If there was a better, more effective, or in fact any other way of visiting some penalty befitting their participation upon the little Eichmanns inhabiting the sterile sanctuary of the twin towers, I'd really be interested in hearing about it." |
Posted by at March 3, 2005 08:40 PM
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Comments
| # March 7th, 2005 6:48 PM Converted_Comment | |
Isn't it about time the "Asshat" logo was replaced? What IS that current picture, anyway? |
| # March 7th, 2005 6:48 PM Converted_Comment | |
That is just beautiful! |
| # March 7th, 2005 6:48 PM Converted_Comment | |
Oh, and if there's any Iron Maiden fans out there--remember the chill down our spine when WINSTON Churchill's speech played before "Aces High"? |
| # March 7th, 2005 6:48 PM Converted_Comment | |
"Asshattery". Ha, I love it! |
| # March 7th, 2005 6:48 PM Converted_Comment | |
"You can always rely on America to do the right thing. Once it has exhausted the alternatives." Winston Churchill's oft quoted opnion of America. |
| # March 7th, 2005 6:48 PM Converted_Comment | |
Winston Churchill was right: "You can always rely on America to do the right thing. Once it has exhausted the alternatives." It was true in Europe in the Fourties. It was true through over twenty years of cold war, before Ronald Regean finally set us on course to end it. And it is more or less what happened in Afghanistan and Iraq, and probably what will eventually happen in Iran, Syria, Lebanon, and Sudan. Winston Churchill Good. Ward Churchill Bad. Get it? |
| # March 7th, 2005 6:48 PM Converted_Comment | |
At least, we know Ward Churchill was in Vietnam and we don't know what he did. On the other hand, we have no idea where George Bush was during Vietnam. |
| # March 7th, 2005 6:48 PM Converted_Comment | |
Tim, Are you sure your name isn't Dan Rather? |
| # March 7th, 2005 6:48 PM Converted_Comment | |
I nominate Phil Kessel for an Asshat award. While Churchill is a traitor to his country in the abstract, Kessel is a traitor to his very friends and neighbors. Gophers still suck! |
| # March 7th, 2005 6:48 PM Converted_Comment | |
yeah, at this moment i hate Kessel more than Churchill. for those of you who have no idea what we're talking about. Kessel is a Madison native and is considered the best young hockey player in North America. he narrowed his college choices down to UW and Minnesota and chose...Minnesota. I feel betrayed. But, at least I know what Minnesota athlete is going to take Randy Moss' place. |
| # March 7th, 2005 6:48 PM Converted_Comment | |
Geeze, Kris, how can you hate a 17-year-old kid for choosing a school THAT'S RIGHT FOR HIM? He said in the paper this morning that Minnesota's up-tempo offense suits his style more. He needs your sympathy, not your hatred - he's gonna be a Gopher. |