James is off on super secret special assignment tonight (or maybe he's just "in class", you never know), so I'll be taking care of the results recap this week. Note: if you're a first time visitor, be sure to bookmark us as we do recaps of both the performance (see here for this weeks) and results shows every week.

So, we're in. Ryan's looking all spiffy in a classy suit & tie. He promises America a "SHOCK". Hmm, I wonder if this is just another bit of hype alongside ABC's promises of the "most shocking Rose Ceremony EVER!" Unless Carrie bites the dust, I think it's all hype. Or, maybe the shock is that Paula looks surprisingly sober tonight. Now, does that mean she's on the wagon or off the wagon? I always get confused about that.

Ryan wants to know about Constantine's tongue move. Hmmm, frankly, I'm kinda curious about it now too. And, yes, I do hate myself, thank you for asking. More pointless chit chat ensues. I guess we know how they're going to take up an entire hour tonight. It's FILLER, baby! It's fillerific.

As part of the filler, we get to see the entire final 12 recording the Tsunami Tsingle. Hi, Jessica! I miss you! Hi Mikalah, you crazy little coconut! I think it's cute that the Idols think that "everyone" in America is going to buy their tsingle. Oh, sweeties.

Great. Ryan promises that the bottom three will each be singing their favorite song of the season. Why does this show want to punish its viewers? Hey America, you didn't like these guys enough to vote for them. So, we're going to make you watch them again!. Gee, thanks.

Watching the Idols perform the Tsunami Tsingle, it occurs to me that all the hatred I once had for Constantine has suddenly been transferred to Anwar. Maybe it's his hideous mustard-colored jacket. Maybe it's his no-sex-man persona. Maybe it's his boring performances. Whatever it is, I almost want him to go more than Scott tonight.

As yet another part of Fillerama 2005, we get a glimpse of the contestants' hectic "work" week. I'd feel sorry for them, but, well, nah, there's no way I can feel sorry for them. They're living the dream. On the way out to commercial, Ryan says we "won't believe who's in the bottom 3". Could it be Carrie? Damn, it'd be a shame if she went out on a week when she was actually interesting.

Ryan messes with Scott a little before letting him know he's in the bottom three. Sweet! God bless America. Scott tries to get me to like him again by singing "Against All Odds". It ain't gonna work, punkass. Go back to your Shaker Heights 'hood.

Carrie: is safe. Wow, does that mean my lovely Bo is in the bottom three? That's the only other conceivable "shocker".

Anwar: is safe. Yo, America, wtf?

Bo: is in the bottom three. Are you kidding me? How in the world did more people vote for Anwar than Bo? The only thing I can think of is that Bo & Constantine are basically going after the same demographic, much like Kelly & Tamyra and the season three divas did. Paula is still convinced he'll be in the final. And, I'm now convinced that Paula is indeed drunk. Bo tears it up with "Remedy", showing America how misguided it is.

Constantine: is safe. Hell, I'm so confident that I typed that before Ryan announced it.

Vonzell, Anthony & Nadia: Nadia thinks it's her. She uncrossed her legs to make it easier for her to leave the couch. Yep, and it's her. Nadia looks pissed. She also looks great. Her dress is fantastic. Her whole look is killer. Her problem is she has no established identity. As much as I don't want contestants to feel stuffed in their boxes, Nadia truly would have been better off as the "rocker chick". People get sick of all the ballads, you know?

And now the moment is at hand. Scott is safe. America, I hate you. It's down to Nadia and Bo. And it's Nadia. The crowd boos and acts all shocked, but it's been obvious for weeks that she was on her way out. I like Nadia, but she lost all of her passion. Hopefully, once she's away from the Idol glare, she'll be able to get it back.