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  • American Idol Recap-Week 6

       April 19, 2005

    Hat is passed out in a gutter writing a paper, so I am guest recapping the performance show this week.

    Seacrest in. Ryan's clad in a plain Jane suit. I'm so disappointed. He looks so much cuter in his funky t-shirts. He promises an energetic show. Excellent. I'm sick to death of friggin' American Ballads.

    The theme: 70s dance music. Sweet! I wanna hear "Don't Leave Me This Way". Welcome to "Club Idol".

    First up is Constantine. He reminds us that he's a child of the 70s. I'm not sure we want to claim him, but hey, it's not just my decision. Constantine is performing "Nights on Broadway" by the Bee Gees while wearing very, very tight black pants, a white jacket and a shirt unbuttoned to there. Ouch. This isn't good. He's bleating like a goat. Dear readers, Constantine has no funk, although he's doing an excellent job of pouting to the beat.

    Randy: says it's a good song choice, but compares him to a Las Vegas performer. He's not original.
    Paula:: everything about you is oh my God. I don't think Paula is talking about singing.
    Simon: he's like a waiter in a "ghastly" Spanish nightclub. Huh? As always, everyone interupts Simon when he tells the truth.
    Kris: interesting that no one talked about his actual singing. He didn't sing a single note straight, which bugs the hell out of me.

    Carrie: will sing "MacArthur Park" by Donna Summer. I don't know this song, but I think it has something to do with a cake in the rain. Anyway, she's got the BIG hair tonight. Damn, I think she's got her 80s mixed up with her 70s. She's having major problems hitting the lower notes and is trying to turn a disco song into a country one. You can just imagine how successful that is. Sweetie, you just gotta let disco be disco.

    Randy: unbelievable vocal. huh.
    Paula: liked the glory note at the end
    Simon: hates her look. It's "Barbie meets Stepford Wives". That's about right.
    Kris: what a boring performance. Is Carrie the new Boringov? Should I start calling her Carrie Undertaker?

    Scott: "Everlasting Love". Ew, the only thing worse than listening to Savol talk is watching him "dance". Scott waddles around the stage in jeans and a jacket. OH MY GOD!!!! He just did the white man's overbite. I'm not even kidding. Not surprisingly, Savol is turning a disco song into a sappy ballad. I hate him, but this is easily the strongest vocal of the night so far.

    Randy: you picked the right song. No problems.
    Paula: you had fun, you "seemed" to be on pitch. Shouldn't she know? Actually, to Paula's credit, she seems almost sober tonight. Good for her.
    Simon: Scott's ordinary. The audience predictably boos.
    Kris: Okay vocals, but Simon's right. Scott is not exciting. Terrifying perhaps, if you're the mother of his child, but not exciting.

    Federov: "Don't Take Away the Music" by someone I don't know. Federov can actually move his hips. He better watch it, that might scare the young girls away. I don't care for this song one bit, but Federov is singing the hell out of it. Ooooh, he just did the white man's overbite too! Of course, when he did it it was cute, not gross like Scott.

    Randy: gives him well-deserved props.
    Paula: holy crap. Paula comments extensively on his vocals.
    Simon: "pleasant, safe and a little insipid".
    Kris: well yeah, that's 70s music for ya, Simon. Given the genre, I enjoyed Federov tonight. The best so far.

    Vonzell: "I'm Every Woman" by Chaka Khan. Oh honey, you better bring the funk. Darn, Vonzell is basically just singing the Whitney Houston version of the song note for note. Once again, not disco. But, she does sound great and look great (I love her halter top). Oooh, she's busting loose at the end of the song and it's much, much better than the beginning.

    Randy: loved her.
    Paula: "I love you Vonzell!" Hmm, maybe Paula is drunk.
    Simon: her personality carries her through songs.
    Kris: good, but it was just another 80s version of a 70s song.

    Anwar: "September" by Earth, Wind and Fire. You know, even when Anwar dances, he's still not at all sexy. He truly is the no-sex man. He sounds really, really flat and he's getting lost in the background vocals. Wow, even his dancing is all herky jerky. I'm almost embarassed to watch this. And yet, I can't look away. It's a train wreck, folks.

    Randy: da bomb at the end. It was "good".
    Paula: in the moment. Great performance.
    Simon: it wasn't as good as Paula thinks. The audience predictably boos. It wasn't a winning performance.
    Kris: worst performance of the night. I think he's gone.

    Bo: "Vehicle" by the Ides of March. Bo claims to be not much of a dancer, but who cares because this song rocks. Bo looks extra dirty tonight, which is usually a good sign. Clean Bo=bad Bo. Dirty Bo=hot, hot, hot Bo. Oh yeah baby, sing it to me, just like that.

    Randy: Bo Bice is back.
    Paula: lights a cigarette and says the competition is back on
    Simon: Bo had the only authentically good performance of the night.
    Kris: Oh yeah

    My bottom three: Scott, Anwar, Constantine
    My predicated bottom three: Scott, Anwar, Carrie

    Anwar gets the boot as Scott survives for yet another week.


    Posted by at April 19, 2005 07:59 PM

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    Comments

    #  April 19th, 2005 8:06 PM      JohnTant
    Did you catch when Simon missed his cue to rip Scotty "The Beater" to shreds, Savol mimed checking his watch during the couple-second pause (the camera cut away in mid-mime)? That woman-beater confirmed his place of honor in my pantheon of classless pieces of crap.
     
     
    #  April 19th, 2005 8:31 PM      rockydog
    Great show this week. Lots of fun to watch and listen to. Hard decisions to make, but I think that Scotty just makes me want to puke! I want him off even if he did sing well tonight.

    Constantine scares me! Who did his make-up anyways?! Too much eye make-up for my tastes...especially on a guy!

    Bo--way hot tonight! Love the rough unshaven look!

    Anwar--I think he is gone.

    Anthony--gets better every week! Loved his dancing...he is the only one up there who has *any* rythmn!

    Vonzell -- good tonight, but don't know if she is really "idol" material.

    Carrie -- please, please, please, are they ever going to give her a change to sing Country music? She is at a disadvantage with all this other crap she has to choose from. Let's see all the other contestants try singing country for a week and see how they do out of their element like she has been having to do all this time!!! You go girl!



     
     
    #  April 19th, 2005 8:34 PM      james
    oh, that's a good idea, rockydog - i'd love to see all of the other contestants forced to sing country for a week. in fact, i think i'd love to see a week of "outlaw country."  
     
    #  April 19th, 2005 8:39 PM      rockydog
    yeah, bo could do the outlaw country thing...how about a little 38 Special Wild Eyed Southern Boys?? He would really rock! It would show that Constantine just can't keep up with him...for that matter, no one could match the two that I think should be in the final....Carrie and Bo! Hey, they do make a mighty fine couple, better than Justin and Kelly!!  
     
    #  April 19th, 2005 9:37 PM      kris
    What they should have performed tonight:

    Constantine: Play That Funky Music, by Wild Cherry (duh)

    Carrie: This one is hard. Tell Me Something Good, by Chaka Khan & Rufus (I think it's stylized enough that she could handle it), or maybe We Are Family by Sister Sledge

    Scott: It's Your Thing, by the Isley Brothers

    Federov: You Sexy Thing, by Hot Chocolate

    Vonzell: Don't Leave Me This Way, by Thelma Houston (she'd just kill the glory note at the end)

    Anwar: Got to Give It Up, by Marvin Gaye

    Bo: Vehicle, by Ides of March ;-)  
     
    #  April 19th, 2005 10:21 PM      kris
    I wouldn't be surprised if a country week is next. I think they've done country in the past.  
     
    #  April 19th, 2005 11:47 PM      BaldEagle
    Tonight:
    1. Vonzell. Awesome. She just keeps pulling it off.
    2. Bo. The PERFECT song for his voice.
    He's Back.
    3. Carrie. Lame song, but who else could pull off that ending? No one but Carrie.
    4. Anthony. Hate the song, but he sang well. Hate the song, but he got a groove on. HATE THE SONG!
    5. Scott. Surprising how he stays alive. He was actually in key tonight.
    6. Constantine. Ick. He better hope the prepubescent girls are voting en masse tonight.
    7. Anwar. Horrible. Off key, wrong octave for the song, drowned out by the backup singers. He's gone.  
     
    #  April 20th, 2005 12:14 PM      OlderIdolFan
    I wasn't familiar with most of the songs, but I generally thought the evening went well with one exception, so I don't have much to say this week.

    The one exception was Carrie Underwood - she has been getting consistently worse each week. She needs some help in choosing songs, that's for sure. MacArthur Park is the one song I knew last night and it's not a dance song, it's a story song, and it's just too rangey for her. She couldn't handle the low notes and she flatted all the high notes. And then she admitted she didn't know what she was singing about!!! IMO, it was a disgusting performance and the worst of the evening. Of course, even worse was that the judges seemed to like it!

    The rest of the performers were pretty even. I agree with many of the comments above but don't feel that any of the singers were really that bad (except Carrie of course).

    My top three: Anthony, Constantine, Vonzell (alphabetical order)

    My bottom three: Anwar, Carrie, Scott

    And may this be the last week we have to put up with Scott, please!!!

    greg
     
     

     

     


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