A new bill, expected to be signed into law by President Bush, will provide up to three yeas of jail time for movie pirates.

`Sec. 2319B. Unauthorized recording of Motion pictures in a Motion picture exhibition facility

`(a) Offense- Any person who, without the authorization of the copyright owner, knowingly uses or attempts to use an audiovisual recording device to transmit or make a copy of a motion picture or other audiovisual work protected under title 17, or any part thereof, from a performance of such work in a motion picture exhibition facility, shall--

`(1) be imprisoned for not more than 3 years, fined under this title, or both; or

`(2) if the offense is a second or subsequent offense, be imprisoned for no more than 6 years, fined under this title, or both.

The Family Entertainment and Copyright Act of 2005 also contains provisions that will allow movie theater owners to detain suspected movie pirates, and it gives them immunity from civil or criminal actions that might arise from that detainment.

`(d) Immunity for Theaters- With reasonable cause, the owner or lessee of a motion picture exhibition facility where a motion picture or other audiovisual work is being exhibited, the authorized agent or employee of such owner or lessee, the licensor of the motion picture or other audiovisual work being exhibited, or the agent or employee of such licensor--

`(1) may detain, in a reasonable manner and for a reasonable time, any person suspected of a violation of this section with respect to that motion picture or audiovisual work for the purpose of questioning or summoning a law enforcement officer; and

`(2) shall not be held liable in any civil or criminal action arising out of a detention under paragraph (1).

But wait! There's more!

In addition, the vitims of this heinous crime of video piracy will be able to submit a "Victim Impact Statement" to the court:

`(e) Victim Impact Statement-

`(1) IN GENERAL- During the preparation of the presentence report under rule 32(c) of the Federal Rules of Criminal Procedure, victims of an offense under this section shall be permitted to submit to the probation officer a victim impact statement that identifies the victim of the offense and the extent and scope of the injury and loss suffered by the victim, including the estimated economic impact of the offense on that victim.

So, in deciding how long to lock someone up for infringing another's copyright, the judge will take into account a statment from MGM saying "he really, really, really, hurt us. our lives will never be the same again! i hate him! i hate him! oh, that evil pirate!"

"now we can't afford to pay demi and ashton their promised $25 million! they're never going to settle for 24.9!"

I'm all for copyright protection - in fact, I'm even a soon-to-be Intellectual Property Lawyer - but excuse me if I don't shed a tear for the Columbia-Tristar on this one.

Illegally enter the country, get a Fake ID, then burglarize someone's house and you get in no trouble at all. But snap a few snapshots in a movie theater and you'll get sent to San Quentin for 3 years. Hmm, maybe the solution to the illegal immigration problem is to line the Rio Grande with camcorders and free tickets to Loews?