April 21, 2005

We've been doing American Idol recaps and people seem to like them, so why not try an Apprentice recap? I've been meaning to try doing one for a while now, and since I find myself sitting here tonight with a choice between 1) reading securities regulation and 2) trying an "experimental" recap, the choice isn't hard.

moneymoneymoneymoney-MONEY...almight-eey-dollah....blah blah blah, blah blah. blah. moneeeeey.

We open back in the suite with Tana and Craig guessing that Bren will be the one fired. "I've seen him on tasks and he's a big zero," opines Tana. Take that, Bren, no more Mark Kay for you! Of course we all know that Chris was fired last week. OOhs and Ahhs when Bren and Alex walk in.

"I can tell ya after this last boardroom I'm lower than whale crap at the bottom of the Ocean, in Mr. Trump's eyes," says Bren. Oh, those charming southern boys. Bren and Alex tell us how much they love each other. I'm touched.

Riiiing! Rona tells the contests to get to Trump's office right away so that he can introduce them to 2 important executives - 2 folks from Staples. Ok, they just showed a shot of Trump sitting in his office - I kid you not, he has a framed headshot of himself sitting behind his desk. Wow. (Why am I so surprised by that?) Staples does $13 Billion per year in sales.

The Task: create a new office product for clearing up clutter. The team that makes the most innovative product wins. I can tell you right now that I'm picking Craig to shine on this task - he isn't a great communicator, but I think he's the most "practically-creative," meaning that he knows what people want.

Alex is the PM on team Alex-Bren. A-B. Ummm, do you really need a PM on a 2 person team? Bren immediately starts giggling and doing what Alpha Alex tells him. Team A-B just became team Alpha-Beta. (I really do think that Bren has a crush on Alex, btw.)

Craig is the PM on team Craig-Kendra-Tana. Kendra is being her usual huffy self, complaining about Craig. Same-old-same-old.

OK, Alex makes an executive decision that team AB is going to skip the scheduled meeting with the judges, and he tries to raise them by tele instead. Foolish. Team CKT shows up their scheduled meeting to a voiceover of Tana saying that they wanted to find out all they wanted to find out about the company, and admits that she wants to schmooze a little. Why college-educated Alex thought that this could be blown off, I'll never know. Tana asks the exactly right question: "Is there a slogan that Staples has that we don't know about?" Yes there is, she's told - "That was easy." Huh, who knew?

As usual, Tana is in a Staples doing market research. OK, I have to admit, I don't like Tana all that much - I find her really, really annoying - but she's bright, and she's good. She's been my pick to win the job in the end for a while now. CKT hits on their idea: Stackables. Good idea, I think. She's right, offices like organizer thingies.

Team Alpha Beta is doing some silly little table thing. Alpha Beta has just become team Already Beaten.

We get a shot of the finished table design - intricate, big, bulky. No one is going to want that. Then we see the other team's stackables. Simple yet functional. wow, I'm having flashbacks of that Home Depot week when Craig's Box kicked the Kitchen Island's butt.

Craig and Kendra at each other's throat. I don't like either of those 2. Tana just ignores it and eats a Hamburger. Heh.

CKT presents their stackable-thingy by way of a little skit. The executives really seem to like it.

Team Already Beaten is up now, and they're calling their stupid little table thing the "pack rat." Alex tells us how much he things that everyone "really liked" their idea. Umm, I'll take "What are people not thinking for $200 please?" Execs speak: "I don't see how this is useful." You and me both, buddy.

The Donald arrives. Team Already Beaten says that they think that they "killed" the other team. The executive has almost nothing good to say about the "pack rat." Needless to say, team CKT and the stackable thingy killed em.

Reward: Breakfast at the Rainbow Room on top of Rockefeller Center with George and Carolyn. Hmm, I wonder how far the reward goes, i.e. will they be calling them in the morning or nudging them? I guess we'll find out after the commercial.

Drat, no nudging. Chit chat amongst themselves. George says that he's known the Donald since Trump was in his 20's. blah blahn.

Snap to team Awesome Buddies going on their final date - Alex says "I thought it would be nice if we went for a walk and nice cup of coffee, one last time." I'm not even kidding. Eerie.

In the most shocking Rose Ceremony ever. Boardroom time. They tell us that Alex is a lawyer. They tell us that Bren is a lawyer. They tell us that George is a lawyer. Oh, this should be fun. George, Carolyn and the Donald have nothing nice to say about the pack-rat. They all just keep saying "I just don't get it." Awesome Buddies keep insisting that their product was better. Oy vey.

Trumpism of the week: "Branson went after me, I killed him. Cuban went after me, I killed him."

Bren inexplicably says that he'd rather be with his family that getting his butt chewed out by the Donald.

Bren : You're fired.

Not a big shocker. Should be smooth sailing from here on out - only 3 more weeks till Tana wins it all.

Posted by jkhat at April 21, 2005 09:15 PM

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