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  • Double Rainbow Guy in Windows Live Ad
  • Skeptoid.com on the Myers-Briggs Personality Test
  • New Glarus Brewing invites fans to weigh in on its 2011 beer schedule
  • UW the big loser in Big Ten realignment
       [ 14 comments ]
  • Glee, Flight of the Conchords featured on 9/26 Simpsons premiere
       [ 1 comment ]
  • Zenyatta Stakes reverting to old name meaning Zenyatta will not be able to win the Zenyatta stakes
  • Target to sell Facebook Credits gift cards
  • Officials: Suspect holding hostages at Discovery Channel
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  • New Big Ten divisions to be announced 7 pm ET tonight
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  • UEFA enacts vuvuzela ban
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  • Best. Horserace Call. Ever.
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  • The Media Loses Readers and Viewers to its Own Radicalism
  • Great Debate: Can Rodgers overtake Favre?
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  • Homeowne's Fight Involves Flag Tied to Tea Party
  • Why Do Heavy Drinkers Outlive Nondrinkers?
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  • Authorities Were on High Alert for Possible Hijack Attempt
  • Behind the hurricane hype
  • UW-Madison: 17th-best damn university in the whole damn world
  • Social media votes on Aaron Rodgers' beard
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  • Not so cuddly now: It's claws the psycho squirrel
  • Top 5 Floating Sheep Maps
  • Texas Rep. violated rules, steered scholarships to relatives
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  • Why can't Barack Obama tell the world about American tolerance?
  • Anyone Who Wants to Cut Entitlements Clearly Has No Place on a Commission Devoted to Fiscal Responsibility
  • The great Obama-Axelrod-etc. mystery
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  • The six wives of Henry VIII in the movies
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  • Who's Stupid?
  • Brewers' Gallardo robbed at gunpoint
  • Want to be class president? Not if you're black, in one Miss. school
  • Lance Armstrong Wants To Tell Nation Something But Nation Has To Promise Not To Get Mad
  • Most humble and most arrogant Presidents
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  • Singles: best soundtrack of the 90's
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  • Observation Deck: Packers-Colts
  • David Hasselhoff to Compete on ABC's Dancing With the Stars!
  • Solution to the Ground Zero Mosque Dilemma
  • Trapped miners in Chile assuming different roles
  • 'Sportwriters on TV' back on the air ... in Chicago
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  • Polish man, shot in head, notices five years later
  • Inside the secret world of Trader Joe's
  • Report: Wisconsin & Iowa will be in separate Big Ten divisions
       [ 10 comments ]
  • That buzz you hear? Must be mosquitoes, not interest in Gophers
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  • Death of a Hero: Brett Favre's Tragic Fall from Grace
  • Rand vs. Ron? Cordoba House Drives Wedge Through The Paul Family
  • Former RNC chairman Ken Mehlman: I'm gay
  • Greeks 'discover Odysseus' palace in Ithaca, proving Homer's hero was real
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  • Angry Birds eyes a movie/TV deal
  • Coffee shops to customers: get the hell out
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  • Who Should Replace Paula Abdul on American Idol?

       May 02, 2005

    With rumors flying fast and furious that Paula Abdul might be the next one booted from American Idol, the staff at Dummocrats thought we'd help Fox pick her replacement. Here's a list of who we think could take Paula's place and what they'd add to show.

    Judge Why she should replace Paula
    Kirstie Alley So Randy's not "the fat one" anymore
    Laura Bush Has better writers than Paula
    Belinda Carlisle Washed up 80s stars need jobs too
    Carolyn Kepcher Because we just can't get enough of Carolyn
    Charo Will maintain the current level of incoherance
    Ann Coulter So Simon's not the biggest bitch anymore
    Courtney Love No need to let all that backstage drugs and alcohol go to waste
    Elisabeth Hasselbeck When Carrie's gone, James will still need somebody to love
    Fran Drescher Still has street cred from her appearance in Spinal Tap
    Ruth Bader Ginsburg Can help all the contestants with their choreography
    Joyce Already goes by just her first name
    Judge Judy She'll take no guff from sass-backing contestants
    Michelle Phillips Still wicked cool after all these years
    Mikalah Gordon She's a younger, cuter version of the original
    Court TV's Nancy Grace Can also provide insight into contestant's legal troubles
    Paris Hilton "That's hot" is annoying, but at least they are real words, which is more than you can say for Randy's catchphrases
    Sheena Easton See Belinda Carlisle
    Tiffany She's a younger, sleazier version of the original, with the same questionable fashion sense
    Triumph the Insult Comic Dog Has more talent in his left paw that Paula has in her left tit entire body
    Wonkette Why not? She's everywhere else


    Posted by at May 2, 2005 01:35 PM

        The trackback entry for this page is : http://www.inthehat.com/mt/mt-tb.cgi/879

     

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    Comments

    #  May 2nd, 2005 3:32 PM      Daddy
    My favorite AI guest judge was Gene Simmons, and I'm not just saying that 'cause I'm biased. I thought he made the effort to explain to the contestants WHY he was voting them in or out.

    But....given the list, I'd go with the original Tiffany. Have you seen her recently??? Damn! If I'd known she was gonna sport such a stunning rack, I would've quit listening to Whitesnake earlier.  
     
    #  May 2nd, 2005 3:34 PM      Daddy
    And Belinda Carlisle has GOT to GO.

    I. just. hate. her.

    If I were more evil, I'd promote a pay-per-view bare-knuckle cage brawl between her and Skankette.

    Winner faces Omarosa.

    HEY...!!! (think ya missed one, Kris!).  
     
    #  May 6th, 2005 11:12 PM      mbrlr
    incoherance

    Change "a" to "e"

    Sorry, it's the proofer in me. Drives my wife crazy.

     
     

     

     


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