Who Should Replace Paula Abdul on American Idol?
May 02, 2005
Posted by kris at May 2, 2005 01:35 PM
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With rumors flying fast and furious that Paula Abdul might be the next one booted from American Idol, the staff at Dummocrats thought we'd help Fox pick her replacement. Here's a list of who we think could take Paula's place and what they'd add to show.
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Judge | Why she should replace Paula |
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Kirstie Alley | So Randy's not "the fat one" anymore |
 |
Laura Bush | Has better writers than Paula |
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Belinda Carlisle | Washed up 80s stars need jobs too |
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Carolyn Kepcher | Because we just can't get enough of Carolyn |
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Charo | Will maintain the current level of incoherance |
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Ann Coulter | So Simon's not the biggest bitch anymore |
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Courtney Love | No need to let all that backstage drugs and alcohol go to waste |
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Elisabeth Hasselbeck | When Carrie's gone, James will still need somebody to love |
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Fran Drescher | Still has street cred from her appearance in Spinal Tap |
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Ruth Bader Ginsburg | Can help all the contestants with their choreography |
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Joyce | Already goes by just her first name |
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Judge Judy | She'll take no guff from sass-backing contestants |
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Michelle Phillips | Still wicked cool after all these years |
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Mikalah Gordon | She's a younger, cuter version of the original |
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Court TV's Nancy Grace | Can also provide insight into contestant's legal troubles |
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Paris Hilton | "That's hot" is annoying, but at least they are real words, which is more than you can say for Randy's catchphrases |
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Sheena Easton | See Belinda Carlisle |
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Tiffany | She's a younger, sleazier version of the original, with the same questionable fashion sense |
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Triumph the Insult Comic Dog | Has
more talent in his left paw that Paula has in her |
 |
Wonkette | Why not? She's everywhere else |
Posted by kris at May 2, 2005 01:35 PM
The trackback entry for this page is : http://www.inthehat.com/mt/mt-tb.cgi/879
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Comments
| # May 2nd, 2005 3:32 PM Daddy |
| My favorite AI guest judge was Gene Simmons, and I'm not just saying that 'cause I'm biased. I thought he made the effort to explain to the contestants WHY he was voting them in or out.
But....given the list, I'd go with the original Tiffany. Have you seen her recently??? Damn! If I'd known she was gonna sport such a stunning rack, I would've quit listening to Whitesnake earlier. |
| # May 2nd, 2005 3:34 PM Daddy |
| And Belinda Carlisle has GOT to GO.
I. just. hate. her. If I were more evil, I'd promote a pay-per-view bare-knuckle cage brawl between her and Skankette. Winner faces Omarosa. HEY...!!! (think ya missed one, Kris!). |
| # May 6th, 2005 11:12 PM mbrlr |
| incoherance
Change "a" to "e" Sorry, it's the proofer in me. Drives my wife crazy. |
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