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  • Calling All Movie Pirates

       May 20, 2005

    I want to take time out to encourage everyone, everywhere, to steal music.

    Download it. Rip it, send it, burn it. And don’t pay.

    Because musicians obviously feel uncomfortable with money.

    Make no mistake. I AM TELLING YOU TO STEAL!! Download all the music you can, and do NOT pay a cent! In fact, don’t spend any of your time doing it. Time is money, right? Just make all your selections at once, click download and walk away.

    Why am I doing this?

    Because I’m a nice guy.

    Look—I’m a white male over 35. People look at me as the Big Daddy Oppressive White Boss, and it hurts. This is one of those stereotypes you just can’t behave your way out of….and I would hate like hell for anybody else to feel that way.

    So…for the good of all men (and womyn)….for the spirits of the musicians who provide us with something to crank so we don’t have to listen to that noise our cars are making….

    STEAL. STEAL. STEAL.

    Now, I know some of you may have been taught by “moralists” that stealing is wrong. But this is a victimless crime. Bands want to make music, but they don’t want to take money…or else they’ll get rich. Kids want to listen to music, but don’t always have the money to get all the music they want

    See how oppressive money is? It’s keeping you from having everything you want!

    We’re all consenting adults here: the band gets to do what they want….without having to feel bad….and you get what you want….just because you want it….without having to earn it!!

    Everybody wins!

    So go on. Go steal! Start here!

    And furthermore….

    …if you’ve got the resources, STEAL MOVIES!!

    Hollywood, you’ve jacked up our ticket prices, jacked up rental prices, and for some reason STILL try to sell us the same Milk Duds that have been sitting there since the FIRST “Star Wars”…..while you continue to give us a more and more half-assed product…..and in return you insult the country that provides you with the freedom necessary to indulge your imaginations and transform your dreams into a life of luxury, hedonism, and privilege.

    You piss in our faces, Hollywood. And we owe you.

    All aboard, movie pirates!

    YEEEEEAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGG!


    Posted by Kagan at May 20, 2005 11:01 AM

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    Comments

    #  May 20th, 2005 3:02 PM      bingobill
    The first time I saw a pirated movie was a copy of Moore's propaganda sh*t Fahrfromtrue 9/11. I didn't want to see any of my hard earned cash go to feed the lie spewing troll of a filmmaker.
    Now that Coldplay has famously complained about making money for the record industry I am less guilty about supportng blackmarketeers a have decided to go forth and watch pirated films and download music, forever!!
    Anyone know where I can get a copy of the Revenge of the Sith?
    Just kiddiing, ;).  
     
    #  May 20th, 2005 3:15 PM      no2lefties
    Talk about biting the hand that feeds you.

    If it wasn't for record companies and their "evil" shareholders, Martin would be playing his crappy music on the street for people to toss coins into his guitar case, or in dive bars for a few bucks and a pack of cigarettes.

    I guess this means he and his wife Gwyneth will donate all their income to feeding and clothing the poor and needy, or saving the environment, right? I'm not holding my breath.  
     
    #  May 22nd, 2005 2:28 AM      srs
    One musician has a problem with the stock market (I doubt the guy even understands how it works), so now it's an all-out assault on the entertainment industry? I don't even know why political editorialist-types bother responding to these guys. How many intelligent comments about politics or economics do these guys tend to make (whether they're Democrat or Republican)? I do have more respect for Lucas, as someone who has created an alternate universe that includes more or less an entire political and economic structure to go along with it. The man is not stupid. And it's certainly true that the spirit of this country lies in an open exchange of ideas rather than in closed-minded absolutism. But I doubt you'll hear George Lucas complaining too much about capitalism. He's no stoner hippie. He knows how to make a buck or two off of the system, and I don't think he's complained too much about it.

    Obviously the origins of America do somewhat parallel the plot of Star Wars Episode IV (the orig!). The soul of this country lies in questioning the establishment and the assumptions of that establishment. The right to bear arms isn't fundamentally about "arms." It's in there as a way of saying that in America neither the leadership nor the people should ever get TOO comfortable. Right now, with the government largely in the hands of one party and that party's political base dissenting all-too-rarely, I think the lessons of Star Wars are still relevant. It's no time for a revolution, but it's definitely time for us to pay more attention to what our leadership is doing. Enough nodding in agreement to whatever our favorite party tells us; it's time we think for ourselves. Unless you're Coldplay. Then it's probably better that you just shut up and play music.
     
     
    #  May 23rd, 2005 9:37 PM      macheteman
    Who would want to steal the absolutely lousy music and movies that are made and sold today ? It's laughable. These so-called "artists" should be grateful some of us would actually risk legal repurcussion to listen and watch their junk !  
     
    #  May 26th, 2005 12:41 PM      david
    It should probably be noted that most large bands, especially coldplay, make most of their money off of tours, not cd sales.

    In their eyes, the cd is there to promote the concerts. This is still biting the hand that promotes you. You're not fucking over an artist thats hugely popular by stealing their music, you're fucking the record company with them.

    So, lets not do this until the record companies are saying "steal our shit" and the bands are saying "fuck our concerts, you can just buy the cd"  
     

     

     


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