For the last year almost every neighborhood in Washington DC has been vandalized by some punk calling himself "Borf." It seems that everywhere I go, be it Georgetown, Cleveland Park, Foggy Bottom, Dupont, Woodley Park, Chinatown, Eastern Market, Virgina, etc, etc, the street signs are all tagged with the word "Borf," the trash cans all read "Borf," even USPS mailboxes are defaced with the word "Borf." This "borf" fellow has easily done hundreds of thousands, if not MILLIONS in property damage to private and federal governemnt property.

I used to pray that I would catch this unknown punk in the act of defacing something with the moniker "borf." He's a vandal, and worse than that, he's a felon. - I wanted so much to make a citizens arrest of this bozo.

It looks like I'm not going to get that chance, since the punk has just been apprehended. And just who is Borf? An 18 year old punk named John Tsombikos from Great Falls, Virginia.

And even though punk John Tsombikos is both felon and a vandal, the Washington Post has nothing but nice things to say about him - they don't call him a "felon" or a vandal, instead, they call him only an "artist." They call his year long million dollar spree of felonious property damage a "months-long campaign ... intended to enlighten Washington." They praise him for managing to spell a few words correctly ("Borf seemed quite conscientious about matters of spelling and punctuation"), and even reveal that reporters at the Washington Post have known his identity for MONTHS now and did nothing to stop him.

Let me say that again - the Washington Post knew the identity of a person causing millions of dollars of property damage to the city and they did nothing. Gee, sounds like a "scoop" to me, so why did they sit on it?

We learn a little more about Borf from the Post's ridiculous romanticized vision of him:

• If you followed Borf graffiti carefully, ... you'd have noticed that he sort of disappeared in the last few months. That's because ...he was traveling in Europe, stopping off in Scotland to protest the G-8 summit.

• he had been avidly involved in peace marches and other protest efforts, and his graffiti appeared to be an outgrowth of that.

• "I've got plans," he said ominously, sitting out on U Street, eating a vegetarian burger from Ben's Chili Bowl. "Maybe like a manifesto."

• Once upon a time, Borf said, he was "just, like, some liberal, like anybody," but then he started reading, and found out he really wanted to be an anarchist. He decided he doesn't believe in the state, capitalism, private property, globalization. Most of all, he doesn't believe in adulthood, which he considers "boring" and "selling out."

• Borf recently turned 18, a fact he revealed with hesitation because "I'm against age. It's just another way of dividing people."

• "People all heading downtown," he said. "Like, it's ridiculous if you think about it. Like, Orwellian-ridiculous. And they do this with so-called free will."

• He is fond of phrases like: "Property is theft, as Prudhomme says."

• It bothers him that those younger than 18 can't vote, "as much as I don't believe in voting or anything."
  

OK, I've given up on listing these things. Clearly, John "Borf" Tsombikos, the rich kid from Great Falls, VA, is a f@*king idiot. Almost every sentence that comes out of this punk's mouth is riddled with idiocy.

As we lawyers say, res ipsa loquitor.

But I will tell you one thing - this vandal wasn't making a "statement" of any kind. First, how could he? I personally don't understand how he manages to dress himself each morning. But secondly, a little fact that certainly isn't evident from the WaPo article: 99% of his acts of vandalism say only one thing : BORF. That's it. That's all.

This punk deserves prison time. If I was the prosecutor, he'd get it.