August 28, 2005

Click here for part 1 of our coverage on Zebrality.

One thing I'm a fan of is the use the orchestras in rock music. To me, that almost always works. Even when they're accompanying some rapper I don't know. But then Snoop comes out. To know him is to love him.

Hey, it's Ron Livingston from Office Space. Oh no, I guess it's just Johnny Knoxville. Why is it never Ron Livingston? I'd much rather see him. He presents the MTV2 Award. I'm rooting for Fall Out Boy. And, it's another winner for me. Sweet!

Fat Joe (who really isn't that fat) introduces some of MTV's newest faces: a bunch of Latin hip hoppers. Heh, whoever this first Latin dude is, he's terrible. His "singing" is unbearably screechy. The second guy is like a short Latin Snoop, but without the unique lazy style. The last guy is Daddy Yankee. He's the best so far. He's incredibly fast and energetic. Even if I don't like the music, I can at least appreciate his enthusiasm.

Now the award for Best Hip Hop Video. I'm rooting for Snoop Dog, just because. And the winner is...Missy Elliot, featuring Ciara and the Cult Jam with Full Force (just a joke there for the oldsters).

I missed a bit of the show, but I come back just in time to see Kelly Clarkson win the award for Best Pop Video. Alright! For some reason, Kelly has to duck through a bunch of fountains to get to the stage. Weird. Kelly has changed out of her beautiful gold gown and is wearing a more rock appropriate black half shirt with cropped flowy black pants. I saw about 100 girls wearing the same damn pants yesterday afternoon. I'm not sure it's the best look for everyone.

My boy Snoop Dog is wearing a fabulous hat and matching sportscoat. He introduces Danny (?) Cook, a comedian. He is...not funny. Snoop presents the award for Best New Artist. I want The Killers to win. And they do. What a strange night. Normally my picks never win things like this.

Who will win Diddy's $100,000 fashion challenge? The winners are Gwen Stefani and Snoop Dog. If they're smart they'll both give the money to the Red Cross for Hurricane Katrina victims. But now, Gwen gives it to a children's hospital and Snoop gives it to the Snoop Youth Football League. That's not the exact name, but it's his youth football charity.

Eva Longoria, who I normally like, comes out in a pink quasi-swimsuit. She looks great, of course, but WTF? Speaking of questionable wardrobe choices, Eva introduces a live performance by Mariah Carey. You can usually count on Mariah to wear some bizarre outfit, but unfortunately, she's a little conservative (for her) in a sparkly light blue gown. Oh Mariah. Girl, I was counting on you for some unintentional comedy.

The Breakthrough Video Award is up next. I want Gorillaz to win. Hey! Another winner for me. I rule!

50 Cent has some nice guns. Take that however you want. To prove he's cool, 50 Cent finishes his performance with a string of F Bombs. Once again, classy.

I don't get what's so great about My Chemical Romance. To me, they are nothing more than a poor man's Smashing Pumpkins. Speaking of things I don't get, here comes Paris Hilton. Paris is on stage a) because she's an attention whore and b) to give out the Viewer's Choice award. The early polls showed Green Day in the lead, so I'm assuming they're going to win. Whatever. I still think they're boring. And they do win.

We're almost done (thank God). I think all that's left is the Video of the Year Award and Kelly Clarkson's finale performance.

Oscar-winner Jamie Foxx gets to present the last award of the night with Destiny's Child. For Video of the Year, I hope Snoop Dog wins. And the winner is...Green Day. They still suck.

Kelly Clarkson hits the stage to sing "Since You've Been Gone". It's hard to believe Kelly was on American Idol. She's like a million times better than anyone else who's ever been on the show. She's a little screechy tonight, but she makes up for it with her energy and the fact that she's performing barefoot. You can tell that her band just loves her too.

At last, this is the end. Best moments: Kelly and The Killers. Worst: Green Day.

Posted by kris at August 28, 2005 10:23 PM

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