The Winter Olympics-We Need A New Enemy
The Winter Olympics are suffering from a severe lack of buzz. In a year when many American athletes are expected to dominate, no one's talking about the Olympics. What gives?
The problem is that our enemies aren't any good at sports. When Americans and Russians faced off in the Olympics, it was also a good matchup between Communism and Capitalism. For all of communism's many, many flaws, those Commies could sure build a great sports system. Or, alternatively, they gave their "women" some really powerful drugs.
Islamofascists, on the other hand, don't have much of a presence at the Games. To be fair, Islamofascists don't actually rule very many countries and in general, Islamofascists live in warmer climates. But aren't those just excuses? Maybe if Islamofascists want to prove to the rest of the world that their way of life is superior to ours, they should try to do it on the snow or ice or track.
As with everything worthwhile, this would require some serious sacrifices for our peaceful friends. First, they'll have to prove their superiority without the help of their women. While this obviously means that Islamofascist men would have to pick up the slack medal-wise, it also means that it'll be much harder to find an appealing, friendly face of Islamofascism. As the Cold War started to thaw, Commie hotties like Katarina Witt and Ekaterina Gordeeva highlighted the softer side of totalitarianism. I don't know if there's an Islamofascist man out there who can fill their, uh, skates.
Second, and this is a key, young, athletic men will have to give up their pursuit of 72 virgins and pursue gold instead. Perhaps the technical ability to produce effective car bombs can instead be channeled into producing faster bobsleds. Instead of spending years learning to fly a plane, Islamofascsist youths can learn to fly through the air in freestyle skiing.
Sadly, this is one impossible dream that won't come true. They'll be no Islamofascist "Miracle on Ice". Their backwards view of life has never, and will never, produce anything worthwhile, whether it's great art, science or athletes.
Posted by at February 11, 2006 12:50 PM
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Comments
| # February 18th, 2006 5:17 AM mbrlr |
| "Islamofascist" is a good one. They, like all religious zealots, are dangerous. It's a lesson we would do well to learn in our own country and one reason the Founding Fathers were so wise in providing for the separation of church and state.
Having acknowledged the current "medieval" status of islam, however, those of us in the West would be unwise to forget history; it would be a good idea on our part to look at the totality of the circumstances and remember that islam, during our dark ages, was considerably more advanced in just about every way than European cultures. "Their backwards view of life has never, and will never, produce anything worthwhile, whether it's great art, science or athletes." -- If you're speaking of all of islamic society, you're just wrong. I don't have the details on athletes, but their societies excelled in both art and science when we were digging our way back to some semblance of civilization after the fall of Rome. Pride goeth before destruction and a haughty spirt before a fall. |
| # February 18th, 2006 9:31 AM kris |
| I was very careful in my language. I am speaking of today's Islamofascists. Of course Muslims accomplished much in the past--Suleiman's empire stretched from Persia to Hungary. Islamic art, as seen in places like Samarkand or Fatehpur Sikri is incredibly beautiful (I'm a fan of old Islamic architecture) and during the Middle Ages Arabs were far ahead of their western counterparts when it came to science. But these accomplishments stopped happening over 500 years ago!
And also, these Muslim societies that did have great accomplishments really bear no relation to the kind of society Islamofascists would like to foist upon the world. In Akbar the Great's India, Hindus were not only free to worship they were also free to advance in the society. Same with the Ottoman empire at its height. |