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  • American Idol - Field of Twelve

       March 14, 2006

    In the off week, we learned that Pickler is a huge fraud, that Chris has already had a job offer, and that Kevin has a large fan base for all the wrong reasons.

    Tonight: Stevie Wonder night. Attention Wilbon: YES, Stevie himself is on hand.

    Ace does "Do I Do." Ace, who I'm still convinced lip-synched last week, has an overblown and cheezy intro that rivals his overblown and cheezy personality. And what do you know, it looks like he's lip synching again this week. Ask yourself : don't you think that clapping your hands while holding the microphone would make a noise of some sort, esp when it's apparently sensitive enough to pick up Ace going "ahhch!" and "oooch!" at the end of every verse? Not on American Idol. They must have a magic microphone. The judges don't like it. And I give it an F, because he cheated.

    Pickler is up next. Oh, what word will the feigning bumpkin purposely mispronouce next?

    "Blame it on the Sun" is the winner. Kellie sets up an excuse for any words that she might forget by saying "oh my, oh dear, I just don't know this genre of music!" Well gollie gee, Kellie P, I guess you dun ne'er heard it there on tha farm!" GAG. It's a sub-standard performance. Randy calls it a "non-event." Heh. "I love the shoes," says the Dog. "They were on Sale!" responds a giggly Pickler. Oh, so delightfully down to earth and cute, right? Don't count on it - the contestants shop on Rodeo Drive each week, on Idol's tab. Kellie, quit laying it on so thick. I give it a C-. Oh, wait, the post "I'm so cute" act just bought you a D+, hon - I've seen some sights but man you're somethin'. Next time just get off the stage, feigning bumpkin.

    Elliot cries when he meets Stevie, saying that he's always dreamed of meeting him. Seems genuine. He does "Knocks me off my feet," and in the pre-performance clip, Stevie says that he is "very impressed" with Elliot. You can't really get much higher praise than that, can you? The judges don't think it's his best performance. I agree. B+.

    Mandissa says that her feet are killing her and Seacrest gets down and takes her shoes off. She does "Don't you worry 'bout a thing." Stevie again says that he was "really really impressed" with her. Hmm, I wonder if he's going to say that for everyone? Well, everyone except for Ace and Pickler, that is. I think that the performance is OK. It's only above average because of Mandissa's vocal range. The judges are also underwhelmed, but Simon says "Best so far." I give it a B.

    Bucky does "Superstition," after saying in the pre-show bit that he'd never heard it, or any other Stevie wonder song before. Whereas Pickler pretends, Bucky really is this ignorant. WHOA HAIR! Bucky has been fluffed and puffed for the performance! All in all I give it a B+. Probably his best performance so far. Randy says it wasn't the greatest vocally but that he really enjoyed it. Paula "actually enjoyed hearing [him sing Stevie] too." Simon says one of his best performances so far, but hates the Jessica Simpson style hair. B+ from me.

    Melissa is up next - I've given her a lot of flak over the last few weeks, but somehow I've started to like her a bit. She says that her voice "has been hurting a bit" lately - oh god, how much more annoying can it get? Ouch, this is not good. Say it with me: off key. Oh, and she forgets the lyrics. Yikes. The judges don't hate it, and Simon even calls it "[her] best performance so far." Boy are we on different pages. D.

    Lisa, what song will you bore us with this week? Whoa - "Signed, Sealed, Delivered?" I can't wait to see how you make this one boring. Hmm. I don't know exactly what she's doing, but she has succeeded in boring it up. She's slowing down the refrain. It's funny, I used to think that this girl had a ton of talent, but now I think she's a one trick pony. It's not that she's bad, it's just that she's not great. Not a star. Randy says he was bored, but that the end "was hot." (note to Dog: it was "hot" because it was so exciting that the song was almost over.) Simon thinks it was one of the best of the night. C+.

    Covais has a 5 and 8 year old come up on stage and give him their hand-made "Kevin/Chicken Little Rocks" sign. Aww, how stagedcute. I know I'm watching on tivo, but how are kids that young up this late? Kevin plays into his joke-of-the-show "sex symbol" title by mentioning it, in a serious tone. His rendition of "Part Time Lover" is good... for a high school talent show! Oh, poor Kevin. Kid, you're going to become part of the American Lexicon. "Dude, do you really want me to come along or are you just Covaising me?" The judges laugh as they rate him. Simon: "it was appalling." Thank you Captain Obvious. Randy and Paula wholeheartedly disagree, and Chicken Little comes back with "Thats OK (Simon), I wasn't expecting much from you anyway." Whoa. D, Kev. But I have a feeling that you're gonna be in this for a long time.

    McPhee does "until you come back to me." I just don't like this girl - it's the goofy smirks that she makes while singing - she thinks that she's being cutsey and flirtatious. I know plenty of girls like that - trust me, guys usually make fun of them behind their backs. The judges are all impressed with her performance. Simon says she reminds him of Kelly Clarkson. I thought the performance was good. Probably the best of the night (as long as you look away from the tv.) A-.

    Taylor does "Livin for the City," because it reminds him of a city back home. The performance is good, but I'm not really wowed. There have been much better Taylor songs. It gets better towards the end. I'm torn between giving out a B+ or A-. In light of the other grades I've given tonight, this merits an A-.

    Paris sounds great in her pre-performance clip, let's see if she brings it to the stage during "All I Do." Hmm, I think she does. It's a fairly strong performance, given the song she chose. I was just starting to think that maybe I've been giving out too many "A's" in the later part of the show, but Simon concurs by saying "it's like we're watching 2 different shows - the beginning was ok, but the second half...." I agree. A for Paris.

    Chris brilliantly picks "Higher Ground," made famous by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. He announces that he plans on mixing the 2 versions, but it sounds 100% RHCP to me. Nice song to close the show. It would normally be an "A," but since his showmanship and song choice were so great, he gets a plus to hang on that A. A+.


    Best
    Chris
    Paris
    Taylor
    McPhee

    Worst
    Covais
    Melissa
    Lisa


    Voted Off Prediction: Lisa


    Posted by jkhat at March 14, 2006 08:50 PM

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    Comments

    #  March 14th, 2006 9:06 PM      BVBigBro
    Perhaps Chris can try the "Let me out of my contract or I will tell all my fans to vote for Corvais" ploy. Kevin was so bad tonight that if he isn't voted off now, he may never be.  
     
    #  March 14th, 2006 9:13 PM      BaldEagle
    Elliot has possibly the best pipes of the top 12, yet he still hasn't stepped it up. He just seems ok each week.
    What's it going to take to let it all hang out?  
     
    #  March 14th, 2006 9:36 PM      BVBigBro
    I liked Elliot tonight. Given that Kevin will probably stay, Lisa should depart.

     
     
    #  March 14th, 2006 9:57 PM      james
    i did my part and voted covais. heh.
     
     
    #  March 15th, 2006 1:07 AM      Squibbly
    Now don't get me wrong. I like Chris, but it seemed to me like he got a LOT more of the special effects at the end. They made his performance LOOK more professional than all the others with all the smoke and fancy lighting and such. Why don't we just call him the winner and then go let him sign with fuel and call season 5 over and done with?  
     
    #  March 15th, 2006 1:18 AM      james
    i think the contestants get to pick their special effects, just like they pick their background images and choreography. chris did the only song that was conducive to smoke and whatnot.  
     
    #  March 15th, 2006 1:24 AM      james
    although a bunch of others could/should have used the smoke to cover up their dancing. or maybe even their singing. (pickler, im looking at you...)  
     
    #  March 15th, 2006 11:52 AM      KVBigSis
    This is the first time I watched AI this season, lured in by the promise of Stevie. My impressions:

    ACE: Oh, he's so cute! He very much reminds me of Ethan of "Survivor" fame. And I loved his reaction to meeting Stevie. But it was a bad song choice, bad singing, and bad choreography.

    PICKLER: Believe it or not, "Blame it on the Sun" is a good song. Not in her hands. And her schtick is unbearable. To steal a phrase from Michael Kors, she's Barefoot Appalachian Lil' Abner Barbie.

    ELLIOTT: Not a bad singer, but why does his performance look like a dental examination? I always felt like I was looking down his throat.

    MANDISA: Loved her song choice, but it revealed her weak lower register. Didn't blow me away, and, with that song, she should have.

    BUCKY: After reading Kris's hate for the guy, I couldn't wait to see him. He chose the perfect song for him and basically did a Stevie Ray Vaughan imitation. I actually didn't mind it.

    MELISSA: Boring and completely unconnected to the song she was singing.

    LISA: Loved her song choice, but she has all the soul of a bowl of cold oatmeal. This was Stevie Wonder sung by the star of the 5th grade chorus.

    KEVIN: He's too goofy to critique. Was it a good musical performance? Hell, no. Did it bore me? Not really.

    KATHLEEN: My favorite of the night. I know both Stevie's and Aretha Franklin's versions of the song, so it was a tough choice, but I thought she did a great job. I do agree her mugging for the camera is annoying.

    TAYLOR: I enjoyed it, but it's true, he was just like a really good wedding singer. A little bit of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

    PARIS: Needs to learn the difference between singing and shouting. I did not like her despite her obviously powerful voice.

    CHRIS: A completely professional performance. I was a little confused by the judges' praise for his originality. The instrumentation was vastly different, but his vocals were very similar to Stevie's (and, by the way, to us old folks that song was made famous by Stevie Wonder).

    I'd boot Pickler.  
     
    #  March 15th, 2006 1:01 PM      BVBigBro
    Lisa will go for the snooze factor. I thought Paris' voice was all over the place in spite of the fact that the judges love her.  
     
    #  March 15th, 2006 1:06 PM      james
    it seemed that paris did the first half of the song in a jazz voice style then did the second half in a motown style. either she accidentally slipped into the motown (unlikely), or she is (smartly) doing both styles to get more votes.  
     
    #  March 15th, 2006 1:17 PM      james
    kellie "i never sang in front of people before" pickler in her last singing contest, where she took second place.

     
     
    #  March 15th, 2006 1:27 PM      BVBigBro
    Is she wearing a costume from Clash of the Titans?  
     
    #  March 15th, 2006 7:40 PM      kris
    Last night, the women's performances were more about the shoes than the songs. My critiques wil reflect that.

    Ace: I want to like Ace because he was so good singing Father Figure & Emotions. Alas, this was not his night.

    Pickler: Horrible awful and boring, but, she did have some great, peep toe red shoes on with her black dress. A fine choice. I'm a big fan of bright colored shoes with a black dress.

    Elliott: A noble failure. I think he respects Wonder too much to really do anything new to his songs.

    Mandisa: Her snakeskin ankle strap sandals were nice looking, but certainly not cute enough to be in pain for. The song was ho hum. Like most really good (but not great) singers, she doesn't sound good in her lower register.

    Bucky: Good song, blah performance. But, his hair was simply spectacular. It was all shiny, blonde and bouncy. I'd like to get in touch with his stylist.

    Melissa: Nice silver shoes with a black dress. I think it was a smart move to class up after she looked kinda trampy last week. I don't even remember her performance. That's how much of an impression she made on me.

    Kevin: In my preview, I almost wrote that I wanted him to sing Part Time Lover because of how funny it would be. How right I was!

    Lisa: I hated her 80s-inspired tapered leg acid wash jeans and pointy-toed turquoise flats. I thought her song choice was excellent, but she's just boring. She's good, but boring.

    Katharine: Beautiful strappy gold sandals to go along with her unusual empire waist dress. I loved her song choice. Sure, she's a little flirtatious, but I feel like she's just a goofball and she's not calculated like Pickler is. To me, the best of the night.

    Taylor: I've never been a Taylor fan, but I thought he was a lot of fun tonight. Lots of energy and even a little bit of soul.

    Paris: Fabulous natural colored sky high wedges made her legs look a mile long. I envy her shoes, but not the way she made an ass of herself by singing to Ryan when she was done. Still, it was her best performance since the auditions.

    Chris: Not at all original. He just covered the Red Hot Chili Peppers instead of Stevie Wonder. That said, he was still great and still pretty hot too.

    My rankings:

    1. Katharine
    2. Taylor
    3. Chris
    4. Paris
    5. Mandisa
    6. Lisa
    7. Kevin (really)
    8. Elliott
    9. Melissa
    10. Bucky
    11. Ace

    12 (million). Pickler

    I think Melissa is gone.  
     
    #  March 16th, 2006 12:21 AM      Laura
    BV - her outfit reminded me of the outfit the Tarellian chick wore in the Star Trek episode Haven where Deanna Troi's mother had set her up with an arranged marriage.

    If you're not a Trekkie - never mind.  
     
    #  March 16th, 2006 1:08 AM      james
    while i have seen all TNG episodes at least 3 times apiece, whenever i see the words "troi senses", "troi's mother", "dr. crusher/geordi falls for", "data seeks," or "ambassador from race x comes aboard," i delete the episode without watching again. oh, and those lame sherlock holmes episodes, too.

    but i think i remember the outfit you're referring to.  
     

     

     


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