21st Century American Idol
Oh oh stereo, video, sci-fi sex let's go go go - let's go. 10 Left for the 21st Century extravaganza! Who will stay? Who will go? Will this be the week that America finally stops Covaising Lisa? We shall find out.
Lisa is up first with doing a Kelly Clarkson song. OK, I have to be honest - I think this is probably Lisa's best performance yet, and the crowd seems to like it. Unfortunately for Lisa, the judges disagree. Vehemently. Randy says it was just "all right" for him. Paula says the song was a poor choice. Simon says that the song was just "too big" for her, and that there were parts that were "actually painful." I dunno, judges- I think you're overdoing it. It wasn't that bad. Sorry judges - B+.
Venus ramp, sexy tramp Hickler is up next doing a song called "Suds in a Bucket." Wow, she doesn't play dumb in the pre-song interview. She doesn't have the makeup gun set to whore this week, either. Whoa, but it's painful when she tries to hit the high notes. The judges criticize the song. Not her, the song. Hey, whatever judges. At least she toned it down this week. I wonder if she was made aware of the growing backlash against her? C.
Ace sets out to feminize "Drops of Jupiter" this week, wasting no time by running his hand through his hair as he sings they lyrics "in her hair." Gag. Ace, you make Nathan Lane look straight. Oh my, now he's exposing a scar on his chest as he sings a lyric about a "scar." Hell, Ace, you make Tom Cruise look straight. The judges don't like it, and Paula says that even though she dislikes it, "it's refreshing after the last 2 performances." Ouch! And she asks about his scar. GAG. Ace, you fail. Freako psycho horror show. F.
Taylor explains the meaning of "Soul Patrol" and tells us that he's doing "Trouble" because he's looking to show off a great vocal range. I dunno, I'm not really hearing the promised range-showcase. Randy doesn't like it. Taylor says that he wanted to "sing a song tonight, as opposed to [scream?]." Simon quite liked it. I didn't think it was that great. Hopefully for T, the Soul Patrol Vegas vamps like better than I did. B.
Mandissa is doing "Shackles," a testimonial. Wow, it's like my tv accidentally got switched to EWTN or something. "I JUST WANT TO PRAISE YOU!!!" belts Mandissa. Hey, it was a good performance. Good vocal. Randy didn't love it or the song choice, and the crowd loudly disagrees. Paula makes some half-clever comment about "The Church of Mandissa." Wow, I think Paula is sober this week. Welcome to the wagon, Honey. Simon thought it was "a bit indulgent. Not for me." I'm gonna give her an A-.
Chris comes out campaigning hard for the job of Live lead singer by having Seacrest tell us that he "worships" them. Chris tells us that he's doing a Creed song. It's pretty heavy for Idol. And you know, while it's good, I don't think it's excellent. Randy didn't love it, Paula makes it clear that she wants to have an affair with Chris, and Simon thinks that Chris "stepped over the line" with that song. "Creed wouldn't be caught dead on this show. This is American Idol!" Good point. B+.
McPhee is doing Christina Aguilera. And it's terrible. TERRIBLE! Poor song choice. Poor vocal. Oh, McPhee, you're trying to live a life that's completely free. You should stick to Jazz/Blues. Randy liked the song choice, but didn't love the performance. Paula thought it was her "best." Hey, I want drunk Paula back! Simon says it was the best tonight, but doesn't look enthused. C- from me, McPhee.
Bucky is gonna do some Tim McGraw, because he "flat out like[s] it." He comes out dressed like Tim McGraw, but sounds nothing like Tim McGraw. Sub-par performance. He's not even really singing, he's ... growling the lyrics or something. Randy liked the song choice. Paula had nothing drunk-sounding to say, but she tells him to watch his "diction." Simon says its OK. I think Bucky's going home, kids. D+.
Paris is doing Beyonce's "Work it Out." She's dressed the part, and she's dancing the part. This is really not my style of music, and the song + performance are both probably a bit inappropriate for the show, IMHO. Randy thinks it was the bomb, best of the night. Paula thinks it was awesome. Simon calls it precocious, like a little girl trying to be Beyonce. I'm not even sure how to rate this one - so I'll go with... C-?
Elliot is doing a Gavin DeGraw song that Bo Bice did last year, but he wants to switch it up with a soul vibe. And wow, it sounds like terrible, terrible karaoke. What is this dancing he's trying to do? Wow. Scary. Though Paula can't stop screaming for him, and Randy is very impressed. Paula needs to shut up. Simon has a mixed review.
Most everyone sucked tonight. I'm having a hard time both coming up with 3 for my "best" list and limiting it to three for my "worst" list.
Best:
Mandissa
Lisa
Chris
Worst:
Ace
Bucky
Paris
Predicted Departure: Bucky.
Posted by jkhat at March 28, 2006 08:10 PM
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Comments
| # March 28th, 2006 9:09 PM BVBigBro |
| I actually thought Bucky was best tonight. He did what he was good at and it worked. Taylor, Chris and Mandisa were just OK. The others varied from dreadfully dull to just dreadful. |
| # March 28th, 2006 9:32 PM BaldEagle |
| Lisa: Nice ambition, but that song's is a bit tough for the Disneybot 2006.
Lisa's got nowhere near Clarkson's range. She looked hot, though. Pickler: Where's the fake cornpone that we love to hate? I was disappointed to have nothing to mock her for this week. PS The performance sucked. Try singing. Ace: Desperately trying to achieve a full 'Constantine' in greasy haired smarmyness. I just don't get this guy. He tries way too hard. Love the bit where he shows us his curling iron scar. Taylor Gray: He actually stood still and sang this week and I thought he was decent. He must've had his seizures Fed Ex'd to Elliott. I refuse to call her 'Mandiva': I liked the gospel theme. She wasn't awesome, but managed to throw this crappy show a life preserver. Note to Mandisa: NEVER WEAR THOSE JEANS AGAIN. Some of us have high def TVs. I think I'll try dieting again. Chris: Same train, different stop. Wow. How original. He just keeps the innovation going, doesn't he? Kat Scratch McPheever: WTF? That was a huge strikeout. I have come to expect MUCH better from her. She didn't even seduce the camera this week. How sad. Bucky: He just does his ordinary, barely serviceable singing, as usual. But this week, it'll probably be enough to squeek by. Again. Paris: Not my style, but I liked it. She had energy. What is up with Simon tonight? Menstrual Cramps? He tells her not do old, so she does young. And he slams her for it. Elliott: Very weird song choice. He actually DID change up someone else's song and make it his own (Are you listening, Chris?) Now if he would just quit Taylor-ing all over the place. If you shut your eyes and just listen to the vocals, he's the best of the night. Afterward, Elliott is just a Mensch. He takes the comments in stride, good or bad. He's not sarcastic or rolling his eyes (Again, are you listening, Chris?) |
| # March 29th, 2006 2:39 AM JohnTant |
| Just a few thoughts:
Lisa...you took a big risk. Unfortunately, you don't get points merely for taking that risk. After all, that would erase the meaning of "risk," wouldn't it? Even my dog thought you blew it. Kellie, I think you decided to try and ditch the ditziness...but as it turns out, there's nothing behind the act. You've turned into the very thing you were (I think) originally pretending to be. Congratulations for making Ace seem like Mr. Charisma. Speaking of....Ace, you've been offered up to us as the winner in this thing, and despite having the producers shamelessly manipulate things in your favor you still flubbed it up. Taylor, I'm just glad you didn't dance. Mandisa, I'm not sure what I watched you do (a fusion of Broadway and PTL, maybe), but I am sure that my large intestine came out of my body and tried to strangle me so as to not have to listen to it any more. Chris, I like the way you sang that so much I think I'll go buy the album...oh, wait, I already own it. I did think it was funny that last week you got props from Cowell for not compromising who you are, but then this week got castigated by him for, well, not being more versatile. But hey, if this works for you and gets you votes, who can blame you for sticking with it? Katharine, love the ensemble. You looked like one of the X-Men. I usually hate Bucky...and this week is no exception. Paris, I'm not keen on seeing Rudy Huxtable singing Beyonce. Ew. Elliott...there was just something about what you were doing on stage that seemed awfully familiar, but I couldn't place it. Then it hit me. Dude, you were channeling Chris Parnell ("Soulful + Bo Bice = Crazy Delicious!!!"). As for who leaves...can't we get all of them to go? |