Me for Wisconsin Governor
Scott Walker's recent decision to drop out of the Wisconsin gubernatorial race means two things to me. First, I will no longer get emailed pdfs and Word documents from the Walker campaign. Since the campaign gave me no effective way to unsubscribe from these emails all I can say is good riddance. I wouldn't have voted for a spammer anyway. Second, with Walker out, there just may be room for another GOP candidate to challenge Mark Green.
I believe that I could be that candidate. Oh sure, I don't have any government experience or influential connections or overflowing campaign war chest. What I do have, however, is an unbeatable issue. If elected, I hereby vow to guarantee the speedy removal of dead animals from Wisconsin's roads. My internal polling has shown almost unanimous support for this stance. Not only that, most people were willing to pay anywhere from $2-$5 extra on, for example, car registration renewals, in order to fund a more aggressive dead animal removal program. This is a can't miss issue folks. Gross dead animals on the highway affect everyone from outdoor enthusiasts to church-going grannies, from rednecks to Madison liberals, from Illinois tourists to our state's impressionable children. Gross dead animals are equal opportunity offenders and the citizens of this state deserve to have a system set up that guarantees their speedy removal.
The best thing about this issue, from a political standpoint, is that the only real response to my call for the speedy removal of dead animals is this: "I too vow to guarantee the speedy removal of dead animals". Other candidates can't come out against the issue because the public is solidly behind it. And, because I said it first, even if they do support my stance, they're going to appear to be Johnny-come-latelys.
So if I do decide to throw my hat in the ring, please consider voting for me. Or, ask the Green or Doyle campaign what they plan to do about Wisconsin's dead animal problem. After all, I'm not in this for political glory. At the end of the day, I'm just sick of all the damn dead animals.
Posted by at March 30, 2006 11:06 AM
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|# March 30th, 2006 2:09 PM KVBigSis|
|I just wanted to let you know that my boss enjoyed this post so much he faxed it to his daughter in Switzerland. I think that makes you an author of international renown. |
|# March 30th, 2006 7:21 PM Daddy|
|I don't mind taking a road trip and voting for you--even if I DON'T live in the state.
I'm willing to vote as many times as I have to!
|# March 30th, 2006 8:11 PM BVBigBro|
|As a challenger to you, I can only reply to your demanding position with Homer Simpson's successful slogan: "Can't someone else do it?". Remember, Homer was elected. |
|# March 30th, 2006 8:29 PM kris|
|true dat. but it's not like i'm asking people to get rid of dead animals themselves-i'm say that, in fact, someone else is going to do it. |
|# March 31st, 2006 5:14 AM james|
|# April 4th, 2006 7:47 PM Daddy|
|So what you're really doing is borrowing Homer Simpson's campaign slogan:
CAN'T SOMEONE ELSE DO IT?
Someone else! Someone else! Someone else!
Oh, do you promise to air out their stinkables as well?