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  • American Idol Recap - 9 Remain

       April 04, 2006

    As Seacrest takes the stage we see just how a Barbasol strike would ravage the nation. What, get up late or something Ryan? Kenny Rogers is on hand to help the AI kids discover their country roots, and to serve as a visual reminder to them that if you're going to be on TV, you should spend at least a few minutes with a stylist.

    Taylor is up first doing "Country Roads Take Me Home," but for some reason he keeps singing "road" not "roads." What, he thinks there's only ONE country road, and that it runs from wherever he happens to be back to his house? The judges don't love it, and Paula gives perhaps the most negative comment of her Idol career by saying that she "expected a little more." I give it a D+. Learn the words next time, milkman.

    Back from commercial, some woman in the audience yells out "I love you Ryan!" Seacrest asks "what?", and the Dog helps out by relaying "She loves you Ryan." Everyone knows that he was referring to the woman in the crowd. Well, everyone except for Space Cadet Abdul who defensively responds "I DO NOT!" Yay, drunk Paula is back!

    Wearing the blue jeans that the public universally agrees she should never again don, Mandissa does "Any Man of Mine" and actually sings the lyric "when last year's dress is just a little too tight" in a serious tone. I don't know what voice she thinks she's using, but it sounds as if Mikayla Gordon is hiding in there somewhere. And she messes up the refain and sings OVER her backup singers. Terrible. Just terrible. F.

    WHOA, BONUS - While the crowd is cheering, you can actually hear the judges bitching and moaning about the song. A disgusted Simon can be heard saying "WHAT. THE. HELL. ?" Love it!

    Kenny Rogers tells Elliot to not sing so many licks during "If tomorrow never comes," and Elliot completely ignores that advice. Mistake. Bad song choice. Bad performance. Elliot, with your voice you'd have been better off doing "She Believes in Me." You've got Kenny right there! Randy calls it "hot," Paula uses her standard "breath of fresh air" line, and Simon says it was OK. I think it was bad. D+.

    Paris does "How Do I Live Without You," or, more precisely "how do i leeeiive without you." Paris also screws up the words, singing "love" instead of "life." How can you NOT know the words to a song? Didn't anyone practice this week? Randy and Paula dislike it. Simon called it "very good." Hmm, maybe this is the April Fool's edition? D.

    Ace does a song that has something to do with wanting to cry. Gee, what a shock. He even works his falsetto in, probably because he's noticed that he gets sent to the bottom 3 when he doesn't do it. Drunk Paula stumbles over the word "signature" for a while, and Randy even makes fun of her for it. Not my thing, but I give it a B.

    AI exercises Pickler damage control by having Ryan step out of the show format ask her about the charges that she's a big fat faker. She gets more camera time than any other contestant on the show to answer "In all honesty I had never heard of Calimari. I thought you pronounced the 'L in salmon." When Pickler starts out with "In all honesty," get your high waders on, folks. El Fake-o tells Kenny that it's "so good to hear a familiar accent." Guess she's not on speaking terms with Bucky, Taylor, or any of the other southern contestants, huh? She does "Fancy" which gives her a chance to play her poor hick routine. Substandard singing, poor stage presence. Randy liked it, Paula said she liked it then shot Kellie a look of death when she thanked her. I guess the Paula pickle gossip was true. C.

    Don't Pick Pickler, Kick Pickler!

    In his first performance not using a Creed/Live/Fuel voice, Chris does an OK job of singing whatever it is he's singing. Simon says it was boring, and that the audience at home deserves better. True Dat - betcha $10 he's a reader. B.

    McPhee does "Bringing out the Elvis in Me." Smart song choice. Best performance of the night. Which really isn't saying a lot. B+.

    Bucky comes out and does "Best I Ever Had" by Gary Allan. And it's actually pretty good. Bucky, I don't know if it's that this is your genre, or if it's because everyone else was so terrible, but you've officially earned the best grade in the class. A-.



    Voted Off: Can't we vote them all off? Here's an idea -- NO ONE call in. If they all get zero votes, they all go home, right?

    Posted by jkhat at April 4, 2006 08:06 PM

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    #  April 4th, 2006 8:49 PM      BaldEagle
    Taylor Gray: Is this how an Idol favorite dies? Not with a bang (and a spasm) but with a whimper? Really boring, Taylor old buddy.

    I refuse to say 'Mandiva': If she only sang songs like this, with no opportunity to belt out the chorus, she'd have been gone in the semis. As for the clothes, excuse me while I gouge my eyes out with a grapefruit spoon.

    Elliott: Actually kind of a nice song. But he should've listened to Kenny. The less vibrato, the better. When is Elliott going to get over his stage fright?

    Paris: Well, she didn't suck singing an intensly difficult country standard. I liked her look. She'll make through another week.

    Ace: Did someone tell him to tone down the sign language? Much better this week for the teen idol. He still does the nasaly whine in lieu of actually hitting the correct keys, but hey, this is Ace we're talking about. What is up with that 70's hair?

    The Fakeler: OMG! She actually gets called on her BS cornpone act by Seacrest. And she lies her ass off. At least she's stopped the dumb hick schtick and just sings. She was does ok in a genre that she should own. The judges pimp for her and rave that she is "back".

    Chris: Well, well. He really can sing! That was actually quite nice to listen to. If he keeps this up, I may start rooting for him. Well done.

    Kat Scratch McPheever:
    Back to what we have come to know, essentially a good time sexy chick with some decent singing. I thought the song sucked but Kat was fun! After last weeks screetch fest, she needed this.

    Bucky: He kept himself alive another week. How does he do it? Just a good old boy, singing good old boy tunes. Not great, but not terrible, either.

    Bottom 3: Taylor, Ace, guess Mandissa.

    Bye, bye Ace (I hope!).

    #  April 4th, 2006 8:58 PM      kris
    First, I'm kind of disappointed that Kenny Rogers doesn't even look like Kenny Rogers anymore. When did this happen?

    Second, why did they all sing country pop crap, except for Taylor? Horrid song choices. The audience would have certainly enjoyed a show filled with country standards.

    We disagree a lot this week:

    Taylor. Just okay. I wish he would have acted like the Taylor of old and shimmied around and had some fun.

    Mandisa: Truly horrible. We agree.

    Elliott He keeps singing these songs that go nowhere. He needs to sing something we all know.

    Paris: When she sings my body has a reaction. I get chills. Tonight, I can't say that I exactly liked her performance, but I react to it. I think that's something.

    Ace: Wow, when Ace sang I thought to myself that I couldn't believe someone so bad was on TV. Then, I couldn't believe he was praised. Just horrible.

    Pickler: Note that the show didn't address any of the substantive claims against Kellie, such as her whole "never sang in front of people before" BS. Anyway, she was okay. The song was interesting.

    Chris: Pretty good. He's Chris. He sings with passion. I would like to hear what a Chris song sounds like someday.

    Katharine: Great. One of the few of the evening who was fun to watch and listen to.

    Bucky: Bucky is really the opposite of Pickler. He's achingly genuine and heartfelt. This performance played to that. It was a nice job, although for some reason he kind of reminded me of Jon from the Real World-Los Angeles.



    Gone: I have no idea. I think Ace and Bucky will hit the bottom three with maybe Paris or Elliott.  
    #  April 5th, 2006 8:10 AM      BVBigBro
    Chris should have sung Poco - A Good Feeling to Know.  



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