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  • New Evidence Proves First Flag Made By Betsy Ross Actually Shirt For Gay Friend
  • Colbert Leads Huntsman in S.C.
  • Polish prosecutor 'shoots self after news conference'
  • Jim Rome leaving ESPN. Bonus: Footage of Jim Rome getting attacked by Jim Everett & crying like a baby
  • Broncos, Tim Tebow stun Steelers in OT, win 29-23 in NFL playoffs
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  • Video: Remember 2008
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  • Jim Rome: out of The Jungle and onto the (horse) farm
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  • American Idol Recap-The Final Six Perform

       April 25, 2006

    Tonight the final six will tackle some of the greatest love songs of all time. Andrea Bocelli and David Foster will attempt to coach the Idols so they won't suck so much. Good luck with that.

    First we meet Andrea Bocelli. He's from Tuscany. It's a beautiful place, but don't even think about trying to get a place there. Bocelli seems like a cool guy and good singer, although the only thing I know about opera is that Turandot is a little bitch.

    First up is Katharine. Now, just let me get this out. Katharine is a beautiful woman, but the Idol stylists have no idea how to dress her. They've got her in a yellow dress that instead of hugging her curves, pinches them unattractively in some places and skims over them in others. It's a mess. Luckily, Katharine does a much better job of singing Whitney Houston's "I Have Nothing". I don't like this type of music at all, but what I like about this performance is that Kat is able to capture the song's passion.

    The men in the audience no doubt enjoy Kat's near wardrobe malfunction as the buttons on the bottom of her dress bust out at the end of the song. The judges don't like her tonight. Simon says that singing a Whitney Houston song is like saying you're better than Whitney. What bunk. So what, the Idols are only supposed to sing songs by crappy singers? I feel like Katharine is being thrown under the bus here. It wasn't her best, but it's not as bad as the judges say. It's a 5.

    The ever-charming Elliott hits the stage to sing "A Song For You" by Donny Hathaway. We know it's by Donny Hathaway because Ryan, Elliott, Andrea Bocelli and David Foster repeat the name Donny Hathaway about 100 times. I wouldn't be at all surprised to learn that 19E owns the Donny Hathaway catalog.

    Anyway, I don't know why Elliott insists on singing these ultra-affected songs. Early rumors had him singing Elvis Costello's "Alison" tonight. That would have been, for lack of a better word, dreamy. This is just kind of boring. The song has all these vocal twists and turns and maybe that's fun for the singer, but it just makes it hard for to get into it. The judges, on the other hand, frickin' love him. Paula is literally sobbing at the end. The hell? I just give it a 5, although I have to say that I find Elliott more attractive every week. What's wrong with me?

    Pickler sings "Unchained Melody" and David Foster gives a hilarious stink face when he first hears her sing. Bwah! Sadly, this isn't the last stink face of Kellie's night. She carves up another song, messing up the timing and showing off the fact that she has absolutely no range. The judges are merciless. Have they come to their senses about Pickler, or are they trying to motivate her rabid fan base? This was a truly awful performance. I give it a .5. That's right-point.

    Darling Paris has decided to sing "The Way We Were". She thinks she's too young to sing a real love song. But she's not too young to sing Babs? How does that make any sense. As always, I get chills when Paris sings. Her voices never fails to touch me. But, even so, I can't say this is a good performance. It's just boring. I think Paris is great, but she's great for single moments or in very specific songs. This isn't one of them. Another 5 on what is turning out to be a very mediocre night.

    It takes a brave man to wear a black velvet suit. It takes an even braver man to wear a black velvet suit when he has gobs of gray hair. Taylor is a brave man. He sings "Just Once" and wussifies it beyond belief. Hey, instead of "wussify", can I just say "Aceify" from now on? Seriously, Taylor turned into Ace tonight. He's all wobbly and wussy and oh so not fun. The judges agree. I've said it once and I'll say it again. When Taylor has fun, we have fun. We he doesn't, well, you can guess the rest. Tonight Taylor just gets a 4.

    Ending the evening is the very dapper Chris. David Foster thinks Chris sings more with his throat than with his chest and so he makes him sing laying down. Wouldn't it have been funny if Chris started his performance that way? Alas, instead he stands between two guitar players and sings a very good version of Bryan Adams' "Have You Really Ever Loved A Woman". Chris tones down the vibrato but doesn't abandon his rocker roots. He sings beautifully, but he's able to convey the power and strength behind the quiet love song. It's the performance of the night, easily. Chris gets an 8.

    My rankings:
    1. Chris
    2. Katharine
    3. Elliott
    4. Paris
    5. Taylor
    6. Pickler

    I predict that Elliott, Katharine and Paris will make the bottom 3, with Paris going home tomorrow


    Posted by at April 25, 2006 08:22 PM

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    Comments

    #  April 25th, 2006 8:59 PM      BaldEagle
    Kat: She was decent, but in danger of losing control of the song in a few places. She ought to learn that "I have nothing" is NOT the song to smile all the way through.

    Elliott: Is he this years Nadia? He's got the best voice in the competition and may just be booted out due to weird song choices. Sang his butt off tonight, maybe oversang it a bit. Of course, know one has any idea what this song is about. It did cause a reaction with Paula's meds.

    Pickler: Why in the hell is she still here? Boring song, lame performance, even a strange hair style. Cutesy is only gonna go so far.

    Paris: Took a standard and made it her own. I don't care for Paris much, but damn! She always comes ready to play. Good job.

    Taylor Gray: When you get past the spazzyness and showmanship, there ain't much there. He was flatter than a pancake tonight. Soul Patrol must be on strike.

    Chris: He fought all his instincts and just sang without screaming. I liked it. Well done.

    Kelly and Taylor sucked. So naturally Elliott or Paris will go home. There's no justice in this world.  
     
    #  April 25th, 2006 9:10 PM      BVBigBro
    I thought this was the worst night of the season. Elliot was OK, Taylor and Kat were on life support, Chris didn't turn down the vibrato and sucked, Paris threw in some weird notes and once again had a performance disconnected from the words she was singing. Pickler was just beyond bad.

    The only positive was Paula's drunken emotion.

    If House wasn't on after the show I'd stop watching.  
     
    #  April 25th, 2006 9:21 PM      KVBigSis
    Kat - I thought she was good, not great, but much better than the judges gave her credit for. The pantyline was distracting, and, even for a straight woman, so were the boobs.

    Elliott - "A Song for You" is actually by Leon Russell, and if you'd listen to his version, which is one of my favorite songs, you'd understand why Randy complained about the arrangement. It's really a very simple, PERSONAL love song. But I also agree with Randy that Elliott's vocals overcame the arrangement. He was by far my favorite of the night.

    Pickler - I actually thought this didn't start out too bad, but then it continued....

    Paris - I must admit she has a great voice. Then why would I never choose to hear her sing again? She has an absolute emotional disconnect from her material.

    Taylor - this brought back some good memories for me of being young and playing softball and heading out to the Badger Bowl for free pitchers and mediocre singers. Uh, I guess that's not a compliment.

    Chris - I thought he was very good vocally, but why does he sing a love song with disdain in his eyes?
     
     
    #  April 25th, 2006 10:09 PM      james
    BaldEagle: "Soul Patrol must be on strike."


    ha, best quote of the week!

    i thought they were all pretty terrible. the highlight of the night was looking at katharine. even in light of the dismal performances, that'll be enough for me to tune in next week.  
     
    #  April 25th, 2006 10:16 PM      kris
    Chris - I thought he was very good vocally, but why does he sing a love song with disdain in his eyes?


    Because love stinks?  
     
    #  April 25th, 2006 11:12 PM      TheUnabrewer
    "Simon says that singing a Whitney Houston song is like saying you're better than Whitney."

    And these jerks have had both a Stevie Wonder week and a--get this--QUEEN week? They expect people to get up there and be better than Freddie Mercury?  
     
    #  April 26th, 2006 7:39 AM      jagorham
    My observations:

    Kat: There was a song involved? I was going all Tex Avery looking at that outfit.

    Elliot: OK, not great. (FWIW, my wife is an Elliot fan, spent the entire two hours trying to call the two lines, got thru ONCE.)

    Paula: Definitely on something tonight.

    Randy: Seemingly disconnected himself this week. (BTW, what's up with his mismatched teeth? The uppers look like an Orbit ad, and the lowers look ultra-dingy.)

    Pickler: I kept looking at her hairstyle and thinking of the "hair gel" gag from "There's Something About Mary." PLEASE send this gal home (though I'm not betting on it - she's not even been in the bottom three yet)! You know it's bad when a blind man know's you're a blonde.

    Taylor: Not a good performance. This song was a little out of his range in the low register.

    Paris: OK, but not up her usual stuff.

    Chris: Only decent performance of the week (which isn't saying much), and with a @#$@#( Bryan Adams song at that.

    This whole hour stank. Not sure if the nature of the genre, which lent itself to slow, emoting songs, was part of the problem or not. But it sure didn't work with this crew.  
     

     

     


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