December 13, 2006

It's that time of year. I'm slowly being driven mad by the sound of christmas carols, both modern & traditional, being played on TV, on the radio, in the mall and even over the intercom at work. It's enough to make a scrooge out of anyone! But instead of stealing Christmas from the local Whos, this year I'm going to embrace Christmas music. I'll start with my definitive top ten list of traditional and modern holiday music.

Top Ten Traditional Holiday Songs

10. God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen: I like the fact that this song literally mentions Satan. Plus, I enjoy the repeating "O Tidings of Comfort & Joy (Comfort & Joy!).

9. The Twelve Days of Christmas: Has anyone ever made it through the entire song? Anyway, I look forward to the yearly report of how much the gifts in this song would cost in today's dollars. Does anyone know how much Lords are going for these days?

8. Winter Wonderland: I like a mix of religious songs, Santa songs and seasonal tunes. To me, this is easily the best traditional seasonal song - much better than stuff like "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire". After all, who roasts chestnuts?

7. Jingle Bells: This is an average song, but the potential parodies are priceless: "Jingle bells. Batman smells. Robin laid an egg. The Batmobile lost its wheel. And the Joker got away. Hey!"

6. Feliz Navidad: I'm a sucker for bilingual holiday songs.

5. Silent Night: I prefer it in the original German, but even in English this song is special in its simplicity.

4. O Come All Ye Faithful: As with Silent Night, I'd rather hear this as "Adeste, Fideles" as it brings back happy memories of the Latin mass.

3. The Little Drummer Boy: It doesn't get any better than "pa-rum-pum-pum pum".

2. Joy To The World: I like Christmas trees that are bright and bold and so, not suprisingly, I tend to like Christmas songs that are the same way, like this one.

1. Do You Hear What I Hear?: On the other hand, my #1 traditional holiday song is a little mysterious with an awesome first line. "Said the night wind to the little lamb, do you see what I see". It also has a nice lyrical progression: the night wind tells the lamb. The lamb tells the shepherd boy. The shepherd boy tells the king. The king tells everyone. It's way cooler than a Christmas carol needs to be. But lucky us that it is!

Top Ten Modern Holiday Songs

10. Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer: Yeah, I know it's annoying, but after all the solemn and joyful and spiritual traditional songs, it's time for some cynicism. Whew.

9. Last Christmas: What? You don't like Wham? Say what you will about George Michael's personal life, the fact is that the man can sing. Plus, there's got to be a place on the list for a sad song for all those depressed folks.

8. Christmas (Baby Please Come Home): I'm thinking of the U2 version here. He does "yearning" like no man alive.

7. Christmas Wrapping: The Waitresses, who most memorably sang "I Know What Boys Like", contribute a little punk and humor to the list.

6. The Chanukah Song: Adam Sandler's now-classic song is the reason this post is entitled top "holiday" songs, if any of you wanted to know. I wonder if there are any Kwanza songs?

5. Santa Baby: I like the Madonna version. If you're choosing a sexy Christmas song, this one is way better than dreck like "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus". Blech.

4. Santa Claus is Coming to Town: I'm thinking of the Bruce Springsteen live version. I'm not a big fan of the Boss, but I can still appreciate the way he plays with his audience and gives them such a great time for their money.

3. Fairytale of New York: When Kirsty MacColl & The Pogues got together to record this, lightning struck. They created a sad & bitter, but still beautiful song. Just check out the lyrics.

2. Christmas in Hollis: This song by Run DMC is a favorite of BVBigBro. You gotta love a rap Christmas song with lyrics like "the note's from Santa and the dough's for ME!!!".

1. Do They Know It's Christmas?: Could it be anything else? No song is so full of meaning and also so full of pop sensibility. It not only puts all other charity songs to shame, it also puts all modern Christmas songs to shame.

Posted by at December 13, 2006 12:57 PM

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