Vital Idol - Gwen Gets the Karaoke Treatment
Ahhh…Nothing says spring like a Corona Light with lime, steamed asparagus and some good old AI. This week’s guest is Gwen Stefani – who I love despite occasional bad judgment in men, songs and hairstyles. I’m not sure why she’s a vocal coach, but who cares.
LaKisha – “Last Dance.” Cute dress, good but not great vocal, and she looks cute in her boots. I think she’s safe, and could still win if she starts singing songs from this decade.
Chris Sligh – “Every Little Thing She Does is Magic.” Oh, honey, as Kris would say, this just isn’t in your key. It sounds weak and not sexy, and if Sting is anything he is subtley strong and sexy (Did I mention I think Sting is one of my betrothed’s celeb look-alikes?). Back to Sideshow Sligh. It’s OK, I think it’s enough to keep him here another week, but I would not be shocked if he landed in the bottom three.
Gina Clarkson – “I’ll Stand By You.” She’s gone Clarkson this week. Smart move, it suits her range much better and isn’t scary. It’s still a bit High School Musical, but I’ll take what I can gets this season. She’s safe. Fiance says he can’t stand black nail polish and thinks it should be illegal, so he’s not voting for her.
Sangaya – “Bathwater.” It’s SUPERGAY and his brand of ponytail mohawk. He’s also kind of rocking one of my favorite songs ever. Until he flubs the word that is. Nevertheless it’s up-tempo and he’s having a good time. I hate to say it, but I think he’ll be making little girls cry next week.
Scrubnato – “True Colors.” When will mediocre girls learn they can’t touch Cindi Lauper. This is lame, boring and pathetic at once. She’s also dressed like a stripper trying to look classy, and she’s not fooling anyone either. But damn, she’s got legs for miles. Men, will you put your penises away this week and vote her off, please?
Dumbo – “Every Breath You Take.” Sounds good enough and he’s wearing a hat. I must say I’m a bit surprised, he’s hitting every note, the tone is great and he’s in the illusive “key.” Oh god, I think I’m rooting for Phil tonight
Melinda – “Heaven Knows???.” OK, stylist, if you’re really her friend, please don’t put her in leggings and a tie-dyeesque shirtdress. She’s perfect and it’s up-tempo, but I really want her to sing a Mary J. Blige song or something. She’s soooooo… safe.
Blake – “Love Song.” Meh. He sounds a bit like the guys who serenaded me after a night of drinking in college. This is a bit weak. I think he may be beatboxing his way to the bottom this week.
Jordin – “Hey Baby.” Hi Gwen, I’m gonna do your song, but a little less cool, OK? Nice outfit, I still think she’s trashing this song though. Alas, she’s safe.
Chris – “Don’t Speak.” He looks cute again. It’s very JT, which should make him very safe. It’s got a bit of a Wham! Vibe, but I can ignore that. He’s my second favorite boy of the night.
Dream boot: Scrubnato
Boot: Chris Sligh
Posted by at March 27, 2007 08:03 PM
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Comments
| # March 27th, 2007 8:16 PM kris |
| Poor, poor PMW, having to undergo the horror of nightly serenades by Blake soundalikes. I hope you're not scarred for life!
Let's see: LaKisha-quite good and not Broadway for once, but as a rule I don't think you should sing songs that other Idols were voted out on and then too "Last Dance" is so temptingly perfect to boot someone for. Sligh-vile, awful rendition of one of my favorite songs. Then, he had to go and act like the mayor of excuses village when the judges called him on the poor performance. Gina-not bad. I think she was smart to sing a ballad with some "rocky" parts. She'll stick around. Sanjaya-sweet Jesus. I think he's trying to hard to be weird. He's weird enough without the trying. He's actually not that bad, but he seemed a little surly afterwards. Hmmm. Haley-pageant. Lovely girl, but pageant voice in a competition filled with belters. She sounds like a true amateur. Phil-sounded good, but he looked like a stalker, which I guess is appropriate for the song. That doesn't make it any less creepy. Melinda-her "Gayles" must secretly hate her because that's one ugly-ass outfit. I was less bored than usual with Melinda this week. That's all I can say. Blake-oh, Blake--you've quickened the hearts of Gen X women everywhere. Too bad none of us vote. Jordin-young and fun and sweet and good. I hope she wins the whole thing. Richardson-I have an irrational hatred of the song "Don't Speak" so I cannot comment on this performance. Should be voted off: Sligh Will be voted off: Sanjaya (really) |
| # March 27th, 2007 8:18 PM kris |
| As an aside, I don't think Sting is all that sexy (no offense to the fiance, although I don't really see a resemblance). Stewart Copeland was always the hottest member of The Police in my book. |
| # March 27th, 2007 9:11 PM james |
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| # March 28th, 2007 12:52 AM james |
| lakisha- boring.
sligh - terrible gina - awful, the judges are clearly on crack sanjaya made my night. go ponyhawk! haley really bothers me in general. reminds me of that annoying girlfriend who thinks she's good at things but isn't, so you have to play along with her little delusion. phil was good, for a jon secada wannabe. if i was going to produce a movie that had a singing robot, i'd hire phil for the voiceover. heck, i might even paint him gold and let him play the 'bot, too. melinda might as well quit now and start a career. well, assuming that she can find a time machine to take her back 40 years. blake bothers me almost as much as haley. this guy's big trick seems to be slowing down songs. ooooh, clever. jordin's cool. i'd let her hang out with me. richmondson was good i guess, if you like guys who sing like chicks. i think sligh goes home. or back to playing gigs at small collegetown's friday night sober jam fests, or whatever they're calling those things dorks do these days. sorry chris, you should have sported a pony hawk to help mask your lack of talent. |
| # March 28th, 2007 8:08 AM BVBigBro |
| Sligh was the worst. Haley was bad. The two Divas are not as good as the judges would like us to believe, even when they get to sing what they are best at.
Once again, the backup band proves it can't play anything other than fast or slow, no in between. The contestants should note that. |
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