Oh Tommy Thompson, you make it so embarassing to support you for the Presidency. First, you congratulate Jews on their fine tradition of earning money and then you say it's okay for private employers to fire someone because they're gay.

I get where you're coming from. Jews traditionally provided capital to European investors. But it's one of those things that you just don't say. No one likes to be stereotyped, even if it's a positive stereotype.

As for firing gays, at-will employees can be fired for almost any reason. If you're an employer, you can fire someone because they're having an extramarital affair or because they were arrested for drunk driving or even if they just look at you wrong. Personally, I think that's just fine. Making it hard for employers to fire people just ends up making it hard for people to find jobs (see: France). On the other hand, I don't think you should be able to be fired for being gay anymore than you should be fired for being black or male or Catholic. And I honestly don't think you, Tommy, think so either. As an article in the Capital Times notes:

Thompson's initial comments surprised many who know him as one of the more gay-friendly Republican leaders in the nation.

"I was shocked when he gave that response because it certainly was not a reflection of how he was as governor," said former state Rep. David Clarenbach, who authored the nation's first law protecting gays and lesbians from discrimination in employment, housing and accommodations and is gay.

"He signed more anti-discriminatory legislation that protected the rights of gays and lesbians than any governor in Wisconsin history," said Clarenbach, noting that Thompson signed off on a hate crimes bill and a state Bill of Rights for people with AIDS and HIV infection.

And while Thompson, then minority leader in the state Assembly, did not vote for Wisconsin's 1982 anti-bias law, he did not stand in its way, Clarenbach said.
"As minority leader he could have single-handedly killed the bill by filibustering or amending it to death," he said.

"He never allowed the extreme elements in the Republican Party to use gay rights as a wedge issue," Clarenbach added. "And while I'm sure gay rights is not a major plank on his presidential campaign, he ought not be criticized. In fact, he deserves respect for that which he did do."

So Tommy, what should we do with you? I don't mean to be cruel, but the camera doesn't love you. You're obviously not the best speaker. Your candidacy isn't going anywhere, but it's really not going to go anywhere if you keep putting your foot in your mouth.

On the other hand, you were an excellent and innovative Governor. I think you would make a fine President. But can a man who's all substance but no style win a Presidential election today? Sadly, I think the answer is no. And that's why when Americans go to the polls in 2008 we'll again choose from two candidates full of empty promises and pointless platitudes. I'd rather vote for you.

It's not too late to make it happen. Do you watch American Idol? Last week, Jordin was by far the worst performer, yet America didn't send her home. Why not? It was because she admitted that she stunk. Americans don't mind if you fail, as long as you own up to it. We're a forgiving lot.

So here's what you do, Tommy. You probably don't have a lot of money in your campaign coffer, but get ready to spend it. Make a television ad like this (and you really only need to pay to air it a couple of times, it's going to be so different that news outlets will play it for free!):

Scene One: clips of your recent comments and what the hell, let's throw in a clip of when you were drunk after the Packers won the Super Bowl. After each stupid comment we cut away to clip of you doing a Homer Simpson "D'oh!" pose.

Scene Two: You come up on the screen. "Hi. I'm Tommy Thompson. I'm not much of a looker (cut to John Edwards and his glorious head of hair) or a talker (cuts to Barak Obama and Rudy Guiliani). I'm more of a doer." Then you talk about your accomplishments as Governor of Wisconsin. End with a statement that you can't promise to always say the right thing or look the right way, but you can promise that you'll always try to do right by America.

I'm sure your advisors will poo poo this idea. But what have they done for you lately? You're not exactly setting the polls on fire. Why not try something different? Desperate times call for desperate measures. Let's see how America will respond. We're an unpredictable nation (see: Sanjaya) and we may just surprise you.