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  • Behold - I'm offended

       November 20, 2007

    This post is going to be pretty ironic, given the last one I wrote, but I have to get it out: I'm offended!

    Check out College Humor's 2007-2008 Power Rankings. At first I was just offended that Wisconsin wasn't on the list of fun schools.

    Then I looked at the methodology of the rankings. Again, I was offended that a site targeting college students would have to spell this out:

    Percent Female - This is the number that determines how much action you're likely to get at school. Say it's 60%. That means if there are 10 people, 4 of them will be dudes and 6 of them will be chicks.

    If you don't know what 60% means, I'm quite sure that college rankings are going to be of no use to you.

    Then, I got really offended. Here's the site's explanation of why schools with lower average SAT scores are more fun:

    Statistics show that the hotness (i.e. sluttiness) of girls is inversely proportional to the score received on the SATs. The higher the SAT score, the uglier the girls get. If she got a 1600 you better believe she's a dog. So don't get too down if your scores weren't as high as you hoped, you get to spend the next 4 years in paradise.

    I realize that women aren't this site's target, but c'mon. This is offensive to ugly girls, pretty girls, smart girls, dumb girls, slutty girls and pure girls.

    Oh, and here's a piece of advice for any college boys reading this. There is no direct relationship between hotness and sluttiness. Two factors, and only two factors determine sluttiness: the amount of alcohol consumed and the girl's level of self esteem. So if you're looking for an easy lover, find a drunk girl with something to prove.

    Of course this isn't news to college guys, since they even have a ranking based on the concept:

    Bar Closing Time - The later your bar closes, the better your chances are of (legally) sedating that cute blonde who's way out of your league. And by sedating we mean wooing her with your eloquent words.

    I found these rankings from a link on Sports Illustrated's site. I find it appalling that a major publication would associate itself with this garbage. It's one thing to promote a little t&a in the annual swimsuit issue, it's another to pretty much denigrate all women and suggest that guys should find colleges with later bar times, the better to "sedate" them.

    Finally, I'm offended that College Humor isn't even funny, it's just kind of lame, stupid and mean. Of course, I'm sure that lame, stupid and mean guys are really hot. Right? Right?

    Posted by at November 20, 2007 07:16 PM

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    #  November 21st, 2007 8:01 PM      themandownthehall
    "Two factors, and only two factors determine sluttiness: the amount of alcohol consumed and the girl's level of self esteem. So if you're looking for an easy lover, find a drunk girl with something to prove."

    I'm not so sure about that. Nowadays it seems to be the "hey, it feels good, so line up guys" mindset as much as esteem or drinking.

    I don't know what study they looked at to determine hotness and SAT acores, but a slew of the high school valedictorians here in NC were pretty darn hot. They get their pictures on TV each June. Not all of them, but a bunch.

    The saddest thing is that the site thinks they're being funny and smart, when they are being neither. College kids don't really care about looks or anything like that. Any look at the bulging bellies and multi piercing of the college and high school set will prove that. All they are interested in inserting round peg a into circular hole b.  



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