January – After a surprisingly strong showing in Iowa, Democratic Presidential candidate John Edwards officially changes his name to “That Other Guy”. In related news, Fred Thompson, John McCain, Ron Paul, Mitt Romney & Rudy Giuliani all simultaneously attempt to change their name to “Ronald Reagan”. Oddly, Mike Huckabee just wants to be known as Harlan Hucklebee.

February – Brett Favre leads the Green Bay Packers to a dramatic and emotional Super Bowl victory over the New England Patriots. The Packers innovative use of the Double Cross System foils Patriots’ coach Bill Belichick’s attempts at chicanery. In Green Bay, lawmakers decree that the Our Favre be read in each and every classroom. Even local gadfly and Freedom From Religion co-founder Annie Laurie Gaylor is cool with this.

Meanwhile, with a dominating performance in California (aided by her stunningly honest tagline "Hillary: The Devil You Know"), Hillary Clinton claims victory on Super Duper Tuesday over rivals Barack Obama and That Other Guy. On the GOP side everyone gets a piece of the action and at month's end the consensus is that anyone can still win - except for Ron Paul, because he's crazy and irresponsible.

March - The person who knows the least about college basketball in your office shoots out to an insurmountable lead in the NCAA Tournament pool.

After serving up such fare as "America's Next Top Dog Show Groomer", "Project Knitting Bee" and "Crop Of Love" (which follows members of Minnesota's Farmer-Labor Party as they try to find girlfriends), producers and writers finally come to terms. The writer's strike finally ends and America joyfully heads back to the couch.

April - As the long primary season winds down, it's clear that the parties will nominate Hillary Clinton and John McCain for President. Really. America responds with a hearty "meh", proving that a democracy really does get the leaders it deserves.

With the Summer Olympics just months away, human rights activists pressure China to institute democratic reforms. Their protests go unheeded by the Chinese government, although they do result in the long awaited release of Guns N' Roses latest album.

May - In a shocking development, I pick the Kentucky Derby winner for the second straight year. Hell freezes over. Al Gore blames global warming.

June - While most political pundits prepare for Michael Bloomberg's independent run to the Presidency, a new candidate enters the race: Apple's Steve Jobs, who vows to be America's first "iPresident". The electorate doesn't know exactly what this means, but early polling shows that they like the sound of it. More cautious voters plan to wait until all of the kinks are worked out before voting for the iPresident.

Click here for 2008 Fearless Predictions - Part Two