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  • New Evidence Proves First Flag Made By Betsy Ross Actually Shirt For Gay Friend
  • Colbert Leads Huntsman in S.C.
  • Polish prosecutor 'shoots self after news conference'
  • Jim Rome leaving ESPN. Bonus: Footage of Jim Rome getting attacked by Jim Everett & crying like a baby
  • Broncos, Tim Tebow stun Steelers in OT, win 29-23 in NFL playoffs
  • Video: Remember 2008
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  • Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop faces weapon and drug charges
  • Video: Green Bay anchorman loves lamp
  • Video: Rodgers & Raji in the new Discount Double Check ad
  • Jim Rome: out of The Jungle and onto the (horse) farm
  • New IL Law Requires Photo ID To Buy Drain Cleaner
  • Fawn Cuddles Kitten, Hearts Explode
  • The priest who changed the course of history for the worse... by rescuing four-year-old Hitler from drowning in icy river
  • Get Fit or Get Fined: Web Service Offers to Charge You for Skipping the Gym
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  • Edina boutique takes heat for trashing $4,000-plus gowns
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  • VIDEO: Snoop Dogg on 'The Price Is Right'
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  • Your end of the season Vikings comment thread
  • Mass. budget motel fights forfeiture by feds
  • Vikings scrutinize downtown Mpls. stadium site near basilica
  • Kelly Clarkson criticized on Twitter after singer endorses Ron Paul for President 
  • Political Predictions for 2012
  • We're All Doing The Best We Can
  • Video Of Little Girl Getting Pissed Off About Pink Toys Will Make Your Heart Swell
  • The 10 best sports-related Hitler Reactions of 2011
  • Happy Endings on the housing crisis
  • Why You Just Got New York Times Spam
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  • The Most Hipster State In The US
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  • 5 social network predictions for 2012
  • Cheetah, chimp star of classic Tarzan movies, dies at 80
  • The Hottest Things on TV in 2011
  • Beer in cans: It's not just for Bud anymore
  • Seven Packers earn Pro Bowl selections
  • The Worst Angry Christmas Tweets In the World
  • Minnesota cities try to hold back on rented housing
  • Why Iowa Shouldn't Vote First Anymore
  • Some Falcons Players Upset Drew Brees Went For The Record Last Night
  • We've Identified Jilted Packergirl
  • With its 'W' initiative, ESPN tries to solve the equation of serving women sports fans
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  • Charles Barkley: Skip Bayless Has Surpassed Peter Vecsey As The Biggest Jackass In The History Of Journalism
  • Handicapping the 2011 NFL MVP Race, 2.0


  • 2008 Fearless Predictions - Part One

       December 31, 2007

    January – After a surprisingly strong showing in Iowa, Democratic Presidential candidate John Edwards officially changes his name to “That Other Guy”. In related news, Fred Thompson, John McCain, Ron Paul, Mitt Romney & Rudy Giuliani all simultaneously attempt to change their name to “Ronald Reagan”. Oddly, Mike Huckabee just wants to be known as Harlan Hucklebee.

    February – Brett Favre leads the Green Bay Packers to a dramatic and emotional Super Bowl victory over the New England Patriots. The Packers innovative use of the Double Cross System foils Patriots’ coach Bill Belichick’s attempts at chicanery. In Green Bay, lawmakers decree that the Our Favre be read in each and every classroom. Even local gadfly and Freedom From Religion co-founder Annie Laurie Gaylor is cool with this.

    Meanwhile, with a dominating performance in California (aided by her stunningly honest tagline "Hillary: The Devil You Know"), Hillary Clinton claims victory on Super Duper Tuesday over rivals Barack Obama and That Other Guy. On the GOP side everyone gets a piece of the action and at month's end the consensus is that anyone can still win - except for Ron Paul, because he's crazy and irresponsible.

    March - The person who knows the least about college basketball in your office shoots out to an insurmountable lead in the NCAA Tournament pool.

    After serving up such fare as "America's Next Top Dog Show Groomer", "Project Knitting Bee" and "Crop Of Love" (which follows members of Minnesota's Farmer-Labor Party as they try to find girlfriends), producers and writers finally come to terms. The writer's strike finally ends and America joyfully heads back to the couch.

    April - As the long primary season winds down, it's clear that the parties will nominate Hillary Clinton and John McCain for President. Really. America responds with a hearty "meh", proving that a democracy really does get the leaders it deserves.

    With the Summer Olympics just months away, human rights activists pressure China to institute democratic reforms. Their protests go unheeded by the Chinese government, although they do result in the long awaited release of Guns N' Roses latest album.

    May - In a shocking development, I pick the Kentucky Derby winner for the second straight year. Hell freezes over. Al Gore blames global warming.

    June - While most political pundits prepare for Michael Bloomberg's independent run to the Presidency, a new candidate enters the race: Apple's Steve Jobs, who vows to be America's first "iPresident". The electorate doesn't know exactly what this means, but early polling shows that they like the sound of it. More cautious voters plan to wait until all of the kinks are worked out before voting for the iPresident.

    Click here for 2008 Fearless Predictions - Part Two

    Posted by at December 31, 2007 12:13 PM

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