2008 Fearless Predictions - Part Two
July - The Tour de France begins as organizers vow to defeat doping in cycling. This marks the first time in recent history that France does not surrender.
Hundreds of thousands of young people flock to Sydney for World Youth Day. They gather to hear words of wisdom from Pope Benedict XVI. And to get laid.
August - During the broadcast of the 2008 Summer Olympics Opening Ceremonies, NBC viewers learn that:
- The actions of European settlers reduced Australia's indigenous population by about 90% between 1788 and 1900
- In 1641, up to 12,000 Protestants may have been killed in Ireland
- South African Zulu warriors killed 600 Boers in 1838
- Over 5,000 people died in Thailand due to the 2004 Boxing Day Tsunami
- 31 people died in 1999’s Galtür Avalanche in Austria
September - André Romell Young (i.e. Dr. Dre) joins an already crowded Presidential ballot that is expected to include Hillary Clinton, John McCain, Michael Bloomberg, Ron Paul and Steve Jobs. Dre throws his hat into the ring saying, simply, “I’m really rich too.”
October - Instead of a really cool October surprise like capture of Osama bin Laden or revealing the secrets of Roswell, political junkies find out that death of Buddy the dog was no accident.
Turning to sports, the New York Yankees defeat the Milwaukee Brewers in game seven of the World Series after Brewers manager Ned Yost changes pitchers six times in the final three innings of the game, leading to a late Yankees game-winning rally. FireNedYost.com is overwhelmed with traffic, but the state of Wisconsin quickly recovers and remembers that it really only cares about football anyway.
November - Election Day comes and goes with none of the candidates getting the required number of votes to win in the Electoral College. The Clinton campaign points fingers at Dr. Dre, while McCain and the GOP cast blame on Ron Paul's libertarian supporters. On a personal note, I triple my votes from 2006 and finish just ahead of the Republican challenger in Wisconsin's 2nd Congressional district.
December - The GOP comes to bitterly regret its decision to fold up the big tent as it is unable to form a coalition of faithless electors in the Electoral College and the election goes to the House of Representatives, which predictably elects Hillary Clinton. Clinton vows to use her "mandate" to bring the nation together again, improve the lives of women and children and institute a national bedtime.
Bowing to court pressure, Green Bay designs an all-inclusive 2008 Holiday display. The decorations include a nativity scene, Menorah, Festivus pole, His Noodly Appendage and relics of the state's newest major religion, Favreism.
As time runs out on 2008 and the Bush administration, concerns begin to rise about what will happen to BDS (Bush Derangement Syndrome) sufferers. It's expected that some will simply join the growing ranks of HBS victims, but mental health experts are unsure about the rest. Only 2009 will tell.
Posted by at December 31, 2007 04:47 PM
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|# December 31st, 2007 6:32 PM themandownthehall|
|Ok, those were outstanding. Funny as heck. So do you remember your post on 12/27 where you said
"To reduce my beliefs and desires to "women's issues" demeans me. It's as if the Clinton campaign thinks I'm so stupid and easily led that I'll just vote for a woman because I am a woman. "
And I said
"The thing is Kris, that is EXACTLY what the Clinton campaign thinks and unfortunately, they are right more than they are wrong" ?
Well, I came across this today:
Final line in the article:
"I like her position on family values and health care. And I think it's time we have a female president," Robyn Rieckhoff said.
Yup, pres Clinton, here we come.
|# December 31st, 2007 6:36 PM themandownthehall|
|Not that anyone cares, but here's how I spent my Saturday:
Those minor bowls are great fun. I'm glad ours is nearly a sellout each year. It means it will stay around. Even this year, lots of upper deck people didn't show, but they bought none the less.
The scalpers made good money on this one. Even the days before the tickets in the lower and club were going for 1.5 to 2x face value.
Can't wait for next years game.