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  • New Evidence Proves First Flag Made By Betsy Ross Actually Shirt For Gay Friend
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  • Exclusive! Presidential Candidates Choose Their Theme Songs

       January 07, 2008

    Many people say that a Presidential candidate's choice of a running mate is their first important decision and is a reflection of the wisdom (or lack thereof) they'd govern with. I respectfully disagree. I believe that any candidates' first important decision is their campaign theme song. Think about it - would Ronald Reagan's "Morning in America" campaign be the same without the strains of "Born in the USA"? Would Bill Clinton have effectively communicated his "change" message as well if "Don't Stop (Thinking About Tomorrow)" wasn't his theme song. Of course not.

    With that in mind, we're pleased to reveal the official campaign 2008 theme songs:

    The Democrats

    Hillary Clinton: Most pundits expected Clinton to go with Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'". They felt the song reflected Clinton's campaign for a better future. However, in the last few week's, Clintonites have come to the bitter realization that Hillary is not the candidate for change. Her voters don't want change, they want to go back in time to when heroin chic was chic, the nation was approaching zero unemployment and 9/11 was a number, not a date. Hillary's official song, Prince's 1999 conjures up that yearning for a more innocent time.

    John Edwards: In a Dem field featuring a black man, Hispanic man and white woman, someone has to appeal to the good 'ole white male. John Edwards' theme, Ben Folds' "Rocking The Suburbs" does just that with lines like:

    y'all don't know what it's like
    being male, middle class and white

    Mike Gravel: The crusty Alaskan will find his voice with the protest of punk of The Clash's "What's My Name?"

    Dennis Kucinich: Never one to bow to convention, Kucinich's theme song, The Stray Cats' "Flying Saucer Rock 'N Roll" will remind voters of one of his more embarrassing revelations.

    Barack Obama: As a candidate, Obama is all about the power of positive thinking. With him as President, we can change the world. Some might think that's too naive. In any case, his feel-good campaign will be powered by upbeat tempo and message of Elvis Costello's "Peace, Love and Understanding"

    Bill Richardson: The New Mexican Governor communicates a very simple, yet powerful, message through his theme song - Simple Minds' "Don't You (Forget About Me).

    The Republicans

    Rudy Giuliani: Like Mike Gravel, Rudy, not surprisingly, goes with a Clash song, in his case it's the obvious "Rudie, Can't Fail. Giuliani staffers hope that the electorate ignores lyrics like:

    How you get a-rude and a-reckless
    Don't you be so crude and a-feckless
    You bin drinking brew for breakfast

    Mike Huckabee: Huckabee may not believe in evolution, but he's definitely a "Daydream Believer. Clever voters will appreciate that the campaign chose a song by The Monkees. ;-)

    John McCain: While McCain's choice of "All At Once" by The Fray may seem uninspired, a quick look at the lyrics show exactly what the campaign is going for:

    There are certain people you just keep coming back to She is right in front of you You begin to wonder could you find a better one Compared to her now she's in question

    And all at once the crowd begins to sing
    Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

    Maybe you want her maybe you need her
    Maybe you started to compare to someone not there

    Looking for the right one you line up the world to find
    Where no questions cross your mind
    But she won't keep on waiting for you without a doubt
    Much longer for you to sort it out

    The GOP didn't think they need John McCain. But now, with the rise of Huckabee, the small government folks are starting to realize that they won't find a better one.

    Ron Paul: Angry Paul supporters will undoubtedly get behind the campaign's theme song Twisted Sister's "We're Not Gonna Take It". Libertarians and Libertarian-leaning Republicans will also appreciate the nod to Dee Snider's campaign against big government censorship.

    Mitt Romney: Romney's choice of Eddie Money's "Two Tickets to Paradise" is really no more than a simple reminder to folks that Romney doesn't need three tickets to paradise. Know what I'm sayin'?

    Fred Thompson: Following Fred's tough talk on terror, his theme song, REM's "It's The End Of The World As We Know It" seems even more appropriate. The Thompson campaign wants voters to be well aware that if we don't vote for Fred we're all gonna die.

    So there you have it. Who made the best choice? What songs would you pick for the candidates?


    Posted by at January 7, 2008 12:55 PM

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    Comments

    #  January 7th, 2008 2:14 PM      BVBigBro
    "It came out of the sky" by CCR would be a better choice for Kucinich, and surely there's room on the list somewhere for "Pass the dutchie on the left hand side...".  
     
    #  January 7th, 2008 2:20 PM      kris
    It was hard to think of a good one for Kucinich.I also thought of "Bohemian Like You" by the Dandy Warhols.

    I feel like there's a decent chance that Obama or McCain really could use those songs.
     
     
    #  January 7th, 2008 3:58 PM      BVBigBro
    After today's tearjerker, Hillary's song should be Grand Funk's "I'm Your Captain/Closer to Home".  
     
    #  January 7th, 2008 4:31 PM      kris
    Everybody, listen to me,
    And return me, my ship.
    Im your captain, Im your captain,
    Although Im feeling mighty sick.

    Ive been lost now, days uncounted,
    And its months since Ive seen home.
    Can you hear me, can you hear me,
    Or am I all alone.

    If you return me, to my home port,
    I will kiss you mother earth.
    Take me back now, take me back now,
    To the port of my birth.

    Am I in my cabin dreaming, or are you really scheming,
    To take my ship away from me?

    Youd better think about it, I just cant live without it.
    So, please dont take my ship from me.
    Yeah, yeah, yeah ...

    I can feel the hand, of a stranger,
    And its tightening, around my throat.
    Heaven help me, heaven help me,
    Take this stranger from my boat.

    Im your captain, Im your captain,
    Although Im feeling mighty sick.
    Everybody, listen to me,
    And return me, my ship.

    Im your captain, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
    Im your captain, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
    Im your captain, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
    Im your captain, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

    Im getting closer to my home ...
    Im getting closer to my home ...
    Im getting closer to my home ...
    Im getting closer to my home ...
    Ohhhh ...

    Im getting closer to my home ...
    Im getting closer to my home ...
    Im getting closer to my home ...
    Im getting closer to my home ...  
     
    #  January 7th, 2008 4:48 PM      BVBigBro
    A Message to You Rudy by the Specials would be better for Giuliani.

    Stop your messing around
    Better think of your future...  
     
    #  January 7th, 2008 5:59 PM      kris
    Ah yes, but that's a messages to Rudy. The theme song is a message from Rudy. Perhaps another candidate could use the song as a not-so-subtle jab at Guiliani?  
     
    #  January 7th, 2008 7:57 PM      themandownthehall
    Oh, boy, is this going to be great! Of course, I'm taking the joking route. These are the songs I would assign them

    Ok, Hillary! So many choices. The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald symbolizes her campaign. We could give her Girlfriend from gool old Avril. I can see her telling bill,Hey, you, I don't like your girlfriend. And the explicit version has the following gem "I know you think I'm d**n precious, and hell yeah, I'm the mother F'ing princess" which sums her attitude up very well. However, since she is the essence of evil, she is awarded "Number of the Beast" by Iron Maiden, whose final lyric is "I have the fire, I have the force, I have the power to make my evil take its course". Hopefully not.

    Barak: Since he's harping on change, we could toss in Changes from Bowie, since we really can't face the strange and he certainly is a strange one. Or "If I Could Change the World" from Clapton. But since the dark undertone of the campaign has been whether or not he's black enough, I propose "Soul Man"

    Edwards: "I feel pretty, oh so pretty!" is way too obvious. "I am Woman" was already used on Limbaugh to parody him. Since he's a trial lawyer, I think "I want money (lots and lots of money)" is the winner.

    Gavel: Never heard of him. How about the White Stripes "Sister, do you know my name?"

    Richardson: Since he's so familiar with the hispanic community and really comes across as a party type, let's give him "Mas Tequila" from Sammy Hagar.

    Kucinich: He's got that hot redhead wife he picked up last election. I guess we could give him the Tubes "She's a beauty". Then there's the one eyed one horned "Flying Purple People Eater" in honor of his UFO. But really, any oompa loompa song or "the lolly pop kids" from the Wizard of OZ will do.

    Rudy: Let's face it. He's a party animal. Girlfriends, going in drag, etc. I think the best song for him is Tom Paxton's "Wasn't that a party" Doesn't this sound like a Rudy party? "Someone took a grapefruit, wore it like a hat. I saw someone under my kitchen table talking to my old tom cat. They were talking about hockey. The cat was talking back! Along about then, everything went black, wasn't that a party!?" Dude, I wanna party with you!

    Huckabee: Kris, a song by the Monkees was perfect. Nothing to compare on that one. In a few weeks, when everyone sees what a schmuck he is and his support is gone, then Rainbows "Street of Dreams" will be good. "do you remember me? On a street of dreams"

    McCain: In line with the fact that he has that famed temper and there is an air of desperation in his campaign, how about The Brilliant Green with "Choose me or Die" with the wonderful refrain of "if you don't say you love me, I'll kill you Tell me your answer, choose me or die"

    Ron Paul: I was thinking "Send in the Clowns" that would really be better as title music for the debates, and since he's libertarian at heart, Dylan's "Everybody must get Stoned" is the winner with Cheech and Chong's Reefer Song a close second.

    Mitt: 2 tickets was a cool pick Kris, but since he's having trouble with the evangelicals, I was thinking Dolly Parton's "Go To Hell" would be good.

    FRED!: He's just fading into the background, so Hall and Oates, "Fading Away". Or maybe Nat King Cole's "Where did everyone go?"

    Anyway tOSU is winning over LSU so it's off to the TV.
     
     
    #  January 7th, 2008 9:07 PM      kris
    I had Hot Chocolate's "You Sexy Thing" as a runner up for Edwards. Given Hillary's performance today, perhaps Aerosmith's "Cryin" would be appropriate. "Living On A Prayer" was another choice for Huckabee, but then I realized that, oh my god, that's exactly what his campaign would really choose, isn't it?  
     
    #  January 7th, 2008 10:13 PM      themandownthehall
    HA! Yeah it is. Cryin would be great.

    tOSU went up 10-0 and then went to sleep. Down 31-17 they are trying to come back, but it looks like the old B10 will be 3-5 in bowls. I was off by one. I didn't see the UM win. Based on the ESPN percentages, only 9% saw that one. Bah, OSU lays another offensive egg. I am hoping the come back. Living in the south, I don't think I can take another year of the SEC's mouths yapping...  
     
    #  January 8th, 2008 9:35 AM      kris
    Let us not speak of college football until
    August.Ugh.

    Oh wait - I have to announce the pick 'em pool winner.
     
     
    #  January 8th, 2008 9:18 PM      kris
    Okay, I guess Edwards' real song is "This Is Our Country". See--their own picks are so much worse than mine.  
     
    #  January 11th, 2008 4:16 PM      mbrlr
    I'm an Edwards supporter --- it's refreshing to see a Democrat who doesn't run away from being a Democrat and thinks the New Deal, the focus on civil rights of the Warren Court including both Miranda and Brown, the Civil Rights Act of 1964, and the Voting Rights Act of 1965 are things to be grateful for and proud of and not things to run away from --- but if he doesn't make it, I'm for Obama. I know Hillary's a damn fine lawyer and I think she's been a good senator for New York and if she's the nominee, she's got my vote, but I think we now need a Democrat who isn't afraid to be a Democrat. While I would prefer Edwards on policy, either Edwards or Obama or Clinton would win, and I'll confess as a Southerner old enough to remember the vestiges of school segregation that it would please me to have Obama as President simply to show that we've perhaps began to move beyond that stain on the national character. The country has shifted to the left; we're at one of those national shifts we go through periodically where our policy pendulum swings back to the other side. From Goldwater on, y'all had 40 years to revel in "right"-eous virtues, but that time's now past. Iraq was the impetus, and just as Vietnam brought down Johnson and the Civil Rights Act gave the Republicans the South, Iraq may serve as the beginning of the end for the far right aspects of the last 30+ years. We're now a more diverse nation and Republicans will find that playing to white fears won't go quite as far as it has in the past.

    When Americans walk into the voting booths, 3000+ Americans who wouldn't be dead but for the bait and switch pulled concerning Iraq will be looking over our shoulders. I suspect the thousands killed on 9/11 may also be there, simply wondering why we've diverted ourselves to Iraq and descended so low as to actually torture prisoners when the ***-**-*-***** who actually attacked us is still floating out there making videos.

    3,000 + of our troops have been killed, and many thousands of disabled troops have had to try to make it back home and reassemble their lives, and all because the people of this country got conned by George II and their representatives in Congress got suckered into it.

    While the right will continue to try to use the war shamelessly and, playing upon irrational fears, raise immigration and "differences" just as was done in the 1830s and 1870s and WWI and WWII, I think that this time, the pendulum's swung a little too far for that backhanded business to work.  
     
    #  January 11th, 2008 4:18 PM      mbrlr
    BTW, the Costello song is one of the classic both musically and philosophically. It fits Obama, and that's meant as a compliment.  
     

     

     


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