Vital Idol – The Wisconsin Primary Edition ‘08
Princess Midwest punching in for duty, kids. People said I’d have to be crazy like a Huckabee to do this again, but I do it for the children.
It’s been a while since I’ve posted and a few things have changed, my last name being the biggest new thing. I shirked my feminist roots and chucked my maiden name in favor of my new husband’s. I’d considered changing my online moniker to Queen Midwest, but it lacks style and consonance. I’m also back in the music game, trying my hand at the four-stringed mistress known as the bass guitar.
What does this have to do with Idol, you ask? Well, exactly nothing. I’ll still be bringing my musically pedigreed opinions and occasional drunken rants. Being an election year, you may see Princess Pundit rear her head as well. On with the show …
Like the lady I am, I missed the first two fellas because I was getting my hair done. I walked in as David Cook was starting. Here’s a review of the rest of the night.
David Cook – Should almost certainly be referred to as Dave – for his scruffy looks and his incredible resemblance to the guys I dated my freshman year in college. He’s emo and grungy and not in a good way. Plus he’s go the rocker vibe of Bo Bice and the cheesiness of Chris Sligh. I’ve always hated the Turtles, too. Nothing original here, I predict he won’t make the final 12.
Brian Jaegermeister – Has a serious streaking problem. And holy fuck he picked “Moon River.” He’s really taken all of the feeling out of the song, his phrasing is forced and he can’t really hit the notes. But he has nice teeth. I think if he picks songs wisely, he could stick around a bit.
Robbie Carricho – Toured with Britney Spears in 2000! He’s cute for a bearded guy. He’s chosen “One is the Loneliest Number.” While I prefer Aimee Mann’s cover, he’s not half bad. If I could ignore his bandanna and wallet chain, I’d like him more. Regardless he’s tops so far this evening. I’m willing to make a wager that he cuts off his blonde locks when he makes the top 5.
David Archuletta – Gay two ways from Sunday, but damned adorable. He gives us a very “High School Musical” version of “Shop Around.” I can only imagine who had to talk him out of doing “In His Kiss.” He’s technically very good, but I like a meaty tone and soul. His voice also cracked once. Safe for a while. Plus, Shecrest has a boner for him.
Danny Noriega – “Jailhouse Rock.” He’s OK. But I anticipate people will mix him and Archuletta up, and he’ll be out pretty soon.
Luke Menard – Ye haw. Princess thinks he’s handsome. Until he opens his Paul Young voice. He sucks. Baaaaad. And his falsetto is weak.
Colton Berry - “Suspicious Minds.” He actually has a little soul in his voice, which I haven’t seen much of in the guys, so I like him. And he can sing in key and phrase a bit.
Garrett Haley - It’s an Idol Hobbit. I’m so excited! He’s picked “Breaking Up is Hard to Do.” As Simon would say, it’s a cruise ship performance. Alas, he’s tween handsome. I’m thinking top 12.
Jason Castro – He’s cute, even with dreads. He’s playing guitar to “Daydream.” I think this song really sucks, but he has a huge advantage playing guitar. It allows him to set the pace of the song and make it his own. I wonder if Idol is ready for dreadlocks. He’s my fave of the night so far.
Michael Johns – He’s originally from Australia and looks a bit long in the tooth. His song is “Light My Fire.” Those of you who know me (Kris), know I have a deep, burning hatred for Doors music. He’s got some soul, but he’s a bit pitchy and sounds a bit cartoonish. I’m willing to ignore it all. Top 12.
Posted by PMW at February 19, 2008 08:53 PM
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|# February 19th, 2008 9:07 PM kris|
|This was seriously painful to watch. The first guy was another David, and his first 20 seconds were great - the rest was horrible. The second guy was the black kid, who seems sweet as hell, but chose an utterly boring song and sang it boringly.
Every time I see David Cook and his stupid hair, I want to punch him in the face. He wants to be DAUGHTRY, but he's not nearly as good.
Brian Jaegermeister=Donny Osmond for the 00s.
Robbie Carricho-kinda hot and sounded good.
David Archuletta - adorkable and a very good singer
Danny Noriega – not nearly as bad as Simon said. He seems to have a sense of humor. I like him.
Luke Menard – Just saw about 2 seconds of this and hated him on sight.
Colton Berry - Hate the song, the little bit of the performance I caught, however, sounded pretty good.
Garrett Haley - Zzzzzz
Jason Castro – Too weird.
Michael Johns - Best impression of Eddie Vedder singing a Doors song.
|# February 19th, 2008 9:59 PM themandownthehall|
|Oh, come on, you love this admit it! PMW, good to see you again. Congrats on the marriage.
Is it me or was this like a gay bar. Holy Anal Batman!
David was stuck in the dead man's spot. Which is good, because he sucked.
Chikeze may as well have called himself Suckeazy. Only Garrett and David #1 was worse. Chickeze has attitude too. Not a good thing.
David #2, Turtles wasn't too bad. A far cry better than most. He lost that sucky dirt spot beard too.
Brian: The first thing I thought of was "John Edwards". I mean he looks processed and primped. Wore a suit. Looked like a lawyer not a singer. Moon River sucked.
Robbie: Don't know if I would have confessed to touring with Brit, but still, he did really good and should stay in for a while, and yes, being "hot" doesn't hurt.
David #3. He made my gay son groan. Brian (my son) hates the flaming gays as he thinks they make the gay community look bad. David #3 is wayyyyyy gay and, no pun intended, he sucked and blew at the same time.
Danny made Brian wretch and want to puke. I was already puking. Wayyy gayer than Big Gay David. He had that teenage girl "Oh, no you didn't" look when Simon was nailing him. He will be gone soon as no one likes a male bitch.
Luke, I was your father until I heard that, Menard. He sucked. I think he sees himself as the Ace from season 5. Yeah, Ace only stayed in because he was good looking. Luke will go dark side soon.
Colton: Brian's gaydar spiked. I think Brian has his fav. Colton wasn't too bad. Nothing great, but compared to some of the others, reasonable.
Garrett looks like someone who will be handing out candy to middle school boys when he's 30. My wife thinks he's going for that Leif Garrett look. Seen Leif lately? Drugged out on the Smokking Gun? Not pretty. Garrett reminds me of the burnouts that I went to school with. Oh, he sucked too. :)
Jason: I think just the opposite PMW. I think using the guitar when no one else did will hurt him. The first comment in the chat room I hosted was "He's using a prop?" I think people will hold it against him. Song was so so. Someone needs to hog tie and shave his hair too.
Michael: I think he was the best of the night. Took on a Doors song and did a decent job. Plus an Aussie! Aussies rock! He's top 6 bound. He had a real command of the stage too. He's going far.
Out: Dave #1 because he went first and that is the worst position to be in.
Garrett is in danger too.
Danny is in danger too, but I think Dave 1 and Garrett go home.
Michael, Robbie and Colton are my top 3.
|# February 19th, 2008 10:12 PM kris|
I shirked my feminist roots and chucked my maiden name in favor of my new husband’s.
And yet the cat hyphenates her name. Go figure.
|# February 20th, 2008 8:11 AM james|
|the judges tell us each week that this is the best field of contestants ever. yet they also show us highlights of these contestants trying in previous years and failing. did they improve, or is all of the talent gone? judging by this performance, it's the latter.
remember last year, when they let gina glocksen on the show after she failed to make it the previous three or four times? and she sucked? this is like that, only worse.
|# February 20th, 2008 11:17 AM jagorham|
|I was scratching my head last night for multiple reasons (and not because of dandruff).
None of the guys really seemed remarkable (sounds like last year?).
And who picked / forced these songs on these guys? "Moon River"? Not one, but TWO Harry Nielssen songs ("One" and "Everybody's Talkin' At Me")? Do we get to hear the women sing "Me and My Arrow" tonight, and see the Ford video with the "Courtship of Eddie's Father" theme?
I only hope the women do better tonight, or I'll just tune the thing out this season like I did last time around.
|# February 20th, 2008 11:28 AM BVBigBro|
|I've been waiting for someone to sing Jump into the Fire. |