February 27, 2008

It’s Wednesday and that means ladies night for Idol. I’m sick, tired and grumpy, so this should be good. And I can’t wait to see what 70s night will bring.

Carly Smithson – “Crazy on You.” I heart Heart. But nobody can touch Ann Wilson or her sandwich. She’s also making a lot of ugly faces and handling the mic like a cruise ship singer. I’m not even gonna comment on her outfit. Please boot her, America!

Syesha Mercado - “Me and Mr. Jones.” What a snoozefest. Nice high notes. I must say it’s a personal pet peeve of mine when people who didn’t write a song change it to suit the pronoun of their chosen mates. See: “Every Little Thing He Does Is Magic” by the dreadful Shawn Colvin. I think she may be out like a trout. Simon agrees with me, maybe I should replace Paula when she goes into the psych ward.

Brooke White – “You’re So Vain.” Don’t look shocked people, hair for brains is a beauty school dropout who finished high school! I love this song. I do feel, however, it should only be sung when at home alone after downing a bottle of wine. There was some studio magic when Carly Simon recorded it and it can’t be recreated.

Ramiele – “Don’t Leave Me This Way.” Aw, she’s cute! She sounds pretty good, I think “Turn the Beat Around” would have been better for her, but overall no complaints. She does look like she’s reading a teleprompter though.

Kristy Swanson – “You’re No Good.” Is a tomboy who likes to drown horses, sweet. I think this was a Linda Rondstadt song. I liked her version better, but Kristy’s not half bad. Good grit to it and almost entirely in tune. She needs a major wardrobe intervention, but I think she’ll be safe this week.

Amanda Winehouse – “Carry on Wayward Son.” She likes to read about rockstars to edumacate herself. Her Cher voice if awful. I haven’t heard if VFTW is still in effect, but this has to be what’s going on. This is fucking terrible. The crazy dancing, the marbles in her mouth vocals her confidence. The gremlin hair is also not good.

Alaina Whitaker – “Hopeless.” Wow, this is the worst of the season so far. But she looks lovely in the blue dress. The verses are dull and the chorus was painfully shrill. Simon says he thinks she a dark horse. That means he likes her tits.

A-Train “The Underdog” - “If You Leave Me Now.” This may be the worst song choice ever. The performance was weak and the end notes almost popped my clogged eardrums.

Kady Malloy – “Magic Man.” Lifelong opera singer – in the toilet. I never thought I’d have to add Ann Wilson to my do not touch them list, but consider her added. In a moment of extreme irony, she sings the lyric “sang in tune.” Worst of the night.

’ – “All By Myself.” So whoever “helps” contestants with their song choices, must have an excellent poker face and a cruel twisted heart. Who let her sing this in public? Kady, you’ve been replaced as worst of the night. This is even worse than Renee Zellweger in Bridgett Jones’ Diary. Sick or not, she’s got to go.

Tops: Ramiele, Kristy Lee
Dream boot: Carly
Boot: Syesha, Kady, ’

Posted by PMW at February 27, 2008 08:25 PM

    The trackback entry for this page is : http://www.inthehat.com/mt/mt-tb.cgi/1621