March 25, 2008

This week on Idol the top ten are singing songs released in the year they were born. I bet Michael Johns is sooooo happy not to have been born in the 80s. In fashion news, I’m wondering how much Ambien/Jesus Juice Paula had to imbibe to put on the gloves and then put costume jewelry over it.

Ramiele – “Alone.” If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times: Ladies, do not touch Heart. While still adorable, her informal skort/shorts and Old Navy clearance top are a bit hard on the eyes, and her vocals aren’t really helping either. I think she may be in the bottom three this week.

Jason Castro – “Fragile.” He’s gone all guy-with-a-guitar-at-the-college-party-trying-to-get-some-ass on us again with an obscure song. It worked with “Hallelujah,” but not so much here. The world does not need another part-time Julio Iglesias, Jr. Vocals were OK, y me gusta mucho el Espanol (sorry, Lou Dobbs), but I was not impressed tonight.

Syesha – “If I Were Your Woman.” Boring. I was totally digging her Charlie’s Angel flippy hair during the interview video, I wish she would have stuck with that look. Vocals are technically very good, until the break. She just looks a bit sappy and beat down this week. I expect to see her in the bottom three based on song choice alone.

Chikezie – “If Only for One Night.” I really don’t think R&B is his thing. I just keep coming back to Wayne Brady, as I pace the room wondering why Cizzy isn’t on “Don’t Forget the Lyrics” instead of Idol. The high tones are better than the dragging verses, but this is simply nothing more than a bad Luther Vandross impression. And OMG, they just panned to Shar Jackson, K-Fed’s baby momma, extra points for anyone who also noticed that.

Brooke White – “Every Breath You Take.” And she starts out weak. I also feel pretty strongly that singing a Police song is asking for trouble. The mediocre piano playing and in-and-out of key vocals are rough, awkward and lack warmth. C’mon America, send her packing.

Michael Johns – “We Will Rock You/We Are the Champions.” This is not a bad Queen performance by Idol standards, but I still think Freddie Mercury is untouchable. A for effort, B for fist pumping instead of dancing and and A+ for the tight-fittin’ jeans. Safe.

Carly Smithenssey – “Total Eclipse of the Heart.” Some rugby playing lady sang this at a karaoke outing a few weeks back, she was much more interesting than Carly. If any one song typifies ladies karaoke choices, it is this Bonnie Tyler gem. Technically good and wardrobe is good, grasp of the lyrics is so-so during the “giving off sparks” part and the ending was just atrocious. Probably safe.

David Archuletta – “Some crappy 1990s song.” Born in 1990, he’s at an extreme disadvantage. I think this is Richard Marx song, but I am not certain. While extensive, my knowledge of music does not extend to schmaltzy early 1990s pop songs. I was too busy digging on Pearl Jam and RHCP to listen to Magic 98 and Delilah. God, he is so the new Gaiken.

Kristy Lee Yuck – “God Bless the USA.” For the first time in Idol history, I am speechless.

David Cook – “Billie Jean.” I love this song. Interesting interpretation, wacky orange Livestrong bracelet and soul patch. Technically pretty good, risky and unique. Best of the night for me.

I need a cocktail.

Posted by PMW at March 25, 2008 08:30 PM

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