The judges, producers and contenders all get to pick a song. C’mon Archuletta, I know you have a Richard Marx joint in you.

Archuletta

“And So It Goes.” Paula has picked a song by anti-Archuletta Billy Joel. It’s slow, sappy and theatrical. The phrasing is a bit odd and pained, but he’s overall in tune, until a timely voice crack.

“With You.” Hmmmm, a Chris Brown song. Is his trying to put his stage dad in an early grave with these shenanigans? I love this song and Chris Brown. He’s managed to wuss it up, flub lyrics and look like a total douchebag. I like the shot of the drummer trying not to laugh his add off. Will somebody please hire him away to sing jingles and make sure he doesn’t cut an album?

“Longer.” I heart whatever jerk producer picked this weak, wack and all-around weird Dan Fogelberg cover. Yes, Dan Fogelberg. In honor of this ridiculous song, I have one word: Fogelbergesque. Now stare earnestly into the camera as your voice cracks, robot.

Syesha

“If I Ain’t Got You.” Randy has picked an Alicia Keys song. Truth be told, I’m a bit disappointed that she didn’t get cornrolls done for this performance. She sounds good and looks like she’s having fun. Until the Minnie Riperton run at the end it was nearly perfect.

“Fever.” Well I think her route is such: There’s no way in hell I’m winning this competition, so I’m gonna get a Broadway gig out of this show. Well the Carmen Electra-inspired chair moves look good it’s exposed her armpits, distracting me from her lovely weave and great bod. It was OK, a little boring.

I missed the song title, but I think it’s a Rihanna song. The backup singers sound and look a lot more comfortable with this song. Too many runs, not enough vocal substance and a lot of pitchyness. Peace out, Sy. Your time has come.

Cook

“The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face.” So apparently Simon hates Cook and has given him a Roberta Flack song to sing. Let’s hope he does it Bon Jovi style. The high range is a bit iffy, but the tone sounds nice. Good job with a tough challenge.

“Dare You to Move.” Ohh, a wise appeal to the Jesus rockers. The beginning is a bit off, bad key choice. The bad notes keep coming into the chorus. Kind of a clunker, too bad.

“I Don’t Miss a Thing.” Somebody up there likes him. Perfect song, just enough edge and a sexy tone. Well played.

Boot: Syesha