With President Obama in Madison tomorrow, The Onion's AV Club has some suggestions for a Wisconsin-themed Presidential gift basket. With all due respect to The Onion, I can do better than that. Here's what I'd like the President to take home from Wisconsin.

1. A 12-pack of assorted Wisconsin beers. Wisconsin has a low beer tax, (not) coincidentally, Wisconsin also has a thriving brewing industry that employs over 34,000 people. You see that, Mr. President? Jobs that weren't created by government, except in the fact that government stayed the hell out of the way.

2. Soil from the Driftless Area to remind the President that natural weather trends are something that last for thousands of years, not something that can be extrapolated from a few sketchy points on a graph.

3. The Green Bay Packers offensive line. First, because if they stay Aaron Rodgers might literally die and second, as a living reminder that the best defense is a good offense.

4. Cranberries, for a couple of reasons. They're one of the few commercially grown fruits native to North America and I think that the President needs to be reminded that while many interesting ideas have come from the European chattering classes, there's a lot to be said for something home grown. Also, when life gave Americans cranberries, we made cranberry sauce, muffins, bread, juice, etc. We didn't whine about the Bush administration.

5. Finally, I'd put a DVD of "Tommy Boy", starring Wisconsin's own Chris Farley, in his basket. Now, this isn't just a snotty homage to Obama's gift to Gordon Brown, it's also a message that Americans like funny, fat men and stupid comedies. With this President's popularity falling by the minute, it'd be kind to remind him that sometimes you've got to give the people what they want, not what you think they should want.