A Packer Fan's Guide to Conference Championship Weekend
The NFL Conference Championship games are this weekend. Packers fans, like the fans of 27 other disappointed teams, don't have a clear rooting interest. Well, actually we do, it's called "anyone but the Vikings", but I thought I'd look beyond him and break down the teams on the things that really matter.
1. Coach most likely to do something stupid and/or funny Like most red blooded Americans, I LOVE LOVE LOVE funny coach videos. Of the final four coaches it's really down to Minnesota's Chilly or New York's Rex Ryan. I think Chilly will do something stupid, but not in a funny way. He's just not a funny guy. Ryan, on the other hand, seems ripe for a future Coors Light ad.
2. Wisconsin connections Besides Favre, Minnesota has Wisconsin turncoats Brad Childress and Darrell Bevell. But that's the wrong kind of connection. The Colts have famed former Badger/clipboard holder Jim Sorgi, but he's on Injured Reserve. The Saints feature former Badger Jonathan Casillas and most Badger fans still have a soft spot in their hearts for Drew Brees and his epic battles against Wisconsin while at Purdue. The Jets, however, have former Badger and Ladysmith, WI native Jim Leonhard. Leonhard was a walk on at Wisconsin and undrafted by the NFL and yet there he is, making interceptions in big games. You gotta love the guy. Advantage: Jets
3. Cutest Quarterback (for the ladies and gay men) They're all pretty decent looking guys:
But, unless you have something against tall, dark & handsome, you've gotta go with Mark Sanchez. Advantage: Jets
4. Sexiest cheerleaders (for the men and gay ladies) Again, they're all lovely:
The Vikings and Colts cheerleaders basically look exactly the same. The Saints girls look kind of sweet, which seems wrong for New Orleans, don't you think? New York's cheerleaders look like they have the right bland of sass and skank. Advantage: Jets
5. Most deserving fans The obvious choice here is New Orleans because of Hurricane Katrina or Minnesota because they've sucked for so long. But, I'm going to go with the Jets because they haven't won anything since Namath and they've been forced to play in Giants stadium for years. How humiliating! Advantage: Jets
6. Win that will piss off Favre the most If the Saints win, Favre will be mildly pissed. If the Jets win with a rookie QB when they couldn't even make the playoffs with him, Favre will be moderately pissed. If the Colts win - that will put Peyton Manning one step above Favre in everyone's eyes. Favre will be super pissed. Advantage: Colts
7. Best cuisine As far as I know, Indy doesn't have any special foods. Minnesota has delicious hot dishes, New York has pizza but New Orleans trumps them all with Jambalaya!! Advantage: Saints
8. Implications for television comedy Let's see, if Minnesota wins we'll have to sit through more stupid Favre Sears ads. If the Saints win it'll be all over Keeping up with the Kardashians. But, if the Colts win, we might get treated to another Peyton Manning-hosted episode of Saturday Night Live! Advantage: Colts
So there you have it. I thought the Saints were the obvious choice, but when you break it down it seems like we should give the Jets a little piece of our hearts.
Posted by at January 21, 2010 09:58 AM
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|# January 24th, 2010 7:16 PM kris|
|As an aside, I've pretty much teared up every time I've seen the Dan Jansen VISA ad today. Even if the playoffs don't go the way I want, you can always count on the Olympics. |