Nine American sports traditions more annoying than a vuvuzela
South Africa's vuvuzelas have gotten a lot of flack in the past week due to their loud, annoying, incessant BBBBBBBBBBBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. However, it doesn't look like they're going to banned from the World Cup anytime soon. The message from soccer's organizing body, FIFA, is that we've gotta respect this South African fan tradition.
As an American, I think we should understand this perfectly well. We have plenty of annoying and offensive traditions of our own. Here are my top nine.
9. Minnesota chant. Amazingly enough, the University of Minnesota teaches its students how to spell their state's name. See, they may be at the bottom of the Big Ten, but they're not SEC stupid. The only redeeming feature of the Minnesota chant is that it's only done when their team scores, which isn't often.
8. Florida State War Chant This one is worse than Minnesota in that it's more droning, repetitive and slightly racist. Oh, and there are arm motions.
7. Take Me Out To The Ballgame. Be honest, isn't a typical Cubs' "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" far worse for your ears than the white noise of the vuvuzelas? Plus, it's the Cubs. Ick.
6. The Wave. With the exception of the Camp Randall slow wave, waves basically consist of drunk people spilling stuff, shouting "WOOOO!" and not paying attention to the game they're supposed to be watching. America, what hast thou wrought?
5. Sausage Race. Besides the vaguely offensive ethnic stereotypes, what about the vegetarians!?!
4. The Victors. Michigan's fight song isn't bad, but they just play it too often. You've gotta either choose your moment or be like the vuvuzelas and be on all the time.
3. White Outs. Don't you think the rest of the non-white world is a little freaked out by this?
2. Eat Sh*t.... Seriously, Wisconsin fans...we don't have a leg to stand on when it comes to the vuvuzelas.
1. Detroit Octopus. Would you rather hear some buzzing or would you rather see slimy dead animals on the ice? I say BBBBBZZZZZZZZZZ all the way!
Posted by kris at June 15, 2010 11:37 AM
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|# June 15th, 2010 2:11 PM BVBigBro|
|All of the above traditions have the enormous advantage of ending. The fucking horns simply drone nonstop. |
|# June 16th, 2010 10:55 AM kris|
|So I see that the Swiss just pulled off a huge upset over Spain. Hopefully the inevitable Spanish riots don't endanger my nephew who is over there.
At least in America we only riot when we win!
|# June 17th, 2010 3:18 PM kris|
|I just walked by a Taco Johns and there were tons of people milling about in it and just outside of it watching Mexico-France. Just walking by, I noticed the vuvuzelas. I'm convinced that everytime someone somewhere writes something about vuvuzelas they magically get louder. |
|# June 18th, 2010 11:01 AM kris|
|Okay, the US got seriously hosed by the refs against Serbia - we came back from 0-2 and scored the winning goal but had it called back for some foul that clearly didn't actually happen.
I call shenanigans.
|# June 18th, 2010 11:03 AM james|
|# June 18th, 2010 11:07 AM kris|
|Oh whatever - they're both former Yugoslav republics. close enough :) |
|# June 18th, 2010 11:20 AM james|
|I don't know what this means, but I understand that it illustrates some point:
|# June 18th, 2010 11:22 AM kris|
|I think that's why they called the goal back, even though the US was only "offsides" because their players were being bearhugged by the Slovenians. |
|# June 18th, 2010 11:25 AM kris|
|Or maybe not:
Second-half sub Maurice Edu appeared to put the U.S. ahead in the 86th, poking in close-range shot after Jozy Altidore headed Donovan's free kick to him. But the goal was disallowed by referee Koman Couilibaly of Mali, apparently for a foul before Edu got the ball.
|# June 18th, 2010 11:33 AM kris|
|Ref has been in trouble before
Confederation of African Football announced that Koman Coulibaly from Mali will be the referee for Sunday's African Nations Cup final between Egypt and Ghana.
|# June 18th, 2010 6:45 PM BVBigBro|
|The people bitching that a lot of uncalled clutch and grab goes on during free kicks have a point, but one of the U.S. players clearly grabs a Slovenian around the waist and all but tackles him on the play and I also think you can clearly hear the whistle long before the goal. |
|# June 19th, 2010 8:17 AM kris|
|Way to root for the home team there, BV :) |
|# June 19th, 2010 8:41 AM BVBigBro|
|By the headlines and announcers I was expecting this to be the worst call of all time and it just isn't. |
|# June 19th, 2010 10:40 AM kris|
|you're missing the point here - it's not that the call was so horrible or that we even care about soccer, it's that Americans have a rare chance to bitch about being screwed over by the rest of the world. Enjoy it! |