I've read a lot of articles lately warning us that we shouldn't post anything "our Grandma wouldn't approve of" on Facebook, etc. and that we need to remember that our employers, educators, in-laws, etc. are watching our every move.

My sincere wish is that, as a society, we collectively decide not to heed that advice. Instead, I hope that our society evolves to the point that we understand that other people have thoughts, interests and passions that are different from our own. I hope we learn to accept people for that instead of work to pull everyone down to the same bland level.

Just imagine the politicians we'll elect if we don't. The kind of people who manage to live their life without any controversy and any exhuberance are clearly either freaks or career politicians. And can you think of anyone more frightening than someone who's been a career politician since grade school? Yikes!

Anyway, in light of these thoughts and some current drummed up political scandals, I thought I'd come clean with the many reasons that I am unelectable:

1. My last name is too ethnic
2. I used to be a card-carrying member of the NRA
3. I've donated to public radio
4. I once played Germany in a game of Axis and Allies
5. My love of horse racing reveals an obvious gambling problem
6. My love of horse racing reveals support for the enslavement of animals
7. I've worn real fur
8. I was once The Onion's Drunk of the Week
9. Old photos document my close, personal encounter with Bill Clinton
10. Back taxes
11. I don't even pretend to belong to a church
12. I've participated in events run by hardcore environmental organizations
13. I was a bell-ringer for the hardcore Christian Salvation Army
14. I still shop at Target
15. I've flashed gang signs in photos
16. I visited Confederate battlefield gravesites
17. I totally inhaled. And I liked it.
18. I kissed a girl. And I liked it.
19. Embarrassing photographs in a gay bar
20. Embarrassing photographs in a biker bar
21. Embarrassing photographs in a sports bar
22. Embarrassing photographcs in a hick bar
23. Embarrassing photographs in a dive bar
24. Embarrassing photographs in a karaoke bar
25. Embarrassing photographs in a kickball bar
26. My vintage Titanic board game is full of offensive ethnic stereotypes
27. I majored in journalism and am therefore a member of the left wing media
28. Fat cat banker
29. Crazy cat lady
30. I was against the war after I was for the war
31. I would also look goofy in a tank
32. My fear of self-serve car washes would be interpreted as typical elitism
33. I have more shoes than Imelda Marcos
34. Selfish, gas-guzzling SUV driver
35. Selfish, law-flaunting bike commuter
36. My love of French & Spanish wines helps put honest, hard-working American winemakers out of business
37. In the past, I've praised Dubai's Sheik Mohammed, therefore, I'm as good as Muslim
38. I once dressed up as a witch for Halloween, so I'm probably a Wiccan
39. I once dressed up as C3PO for Halloween, so I'm probably in favor of replacing hard-working Americans with cheap robot labor
40. I'm a card-carrying member of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy (Quality Plots since 1992, yo)