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  • Former Senator Russ Feingold's Top Ten Pickup Lines

       November 03, 2010

    So Wisconsin's heartthrob, former Senator Russ Feingold, will presumably be headed back to America's Dairyland permanently following his defeat in yesterday's election.

    I feel bad for Russ. He seems like a good guy. Since he's single again and we've dealt with this before, I thought I'd help him figure out how to court those ever-elusive Wisconsin women.

    Ladies and gentlemen, behold:

    Former Senator Russ Feingold's Top Ten Pickup Lines
    (note the new Big Ten styling!)

    12. "As the voters of Wisconsin would tell you, I'm no teabagger."

    11. "You look like you could sure stimulate my package."

    10. "Good thing I voted for ObamaCare, because you've got a pre-condition of terminal hotness."

    9. "I won't leave you for the Minnesota Vikings."

    8. "Hey there, you've got something I'd like a sneak and peek at."

    7. "You look like a gold digger to me, which is good, cuz I'm some fine gold." (hey, it still works!)

    6. "Now's your chance to vote for this Johnson."

    5. "The vote's not the only thing that swings in Wisconsin, if you know what I mean."

    4. "I've been a consistent supporter of 2nd Amendment rights. Wanna ticket to the gun show?"

    3. "Let me be your garage door man."

    2. "Hey sweetie, now that I'm back in town, can you teach me how to Bucky?"

    And, Former Senator Russ Feingold's number one pickup line is:

    1. "C'mon honey, my troubled asset could sure use some relief."

    Posted by kris at November 3, 2010 06:59 PM

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