While doing a search for "I hate Madison", I came across something delightfully hilarious: Woodman's Yelp reviews. For those who don't know, Woodman's is a huge employee-owned Madison grocery store (actually, there are two stores in Madison). It's known for its amazing liquor store, incredible selection, cheap prices, terrible produce and general dodginess. Like Madison itself, it's not that you either love or hate Woodman's, it's that you love and hate Woodman's.

My personal least favorite Woodman's memory is the time I encountered an awful little child, her hands smeared with what I prayed was chocolate, running down the aisles screaming "POOPY! POOPY!" at the top of her lungs. The horror.

So anyway, the Woodman's reviews are seriously entertaining, as, in typical Madison fashion, they don't just cover price, selection and service. Nope, the review of the store is also a review of the type of people that shop there.

Wow, what a shame that people are so self absorbed and so concerned about saving 13 cents that they will sugar coat just how nasty this store is. They are the same people that are so caught up in their lives that they don't even notice their surroundings and think everything is great because it's all about them. They have zero contact with other shoppers or employees because they are too worldy and sophisticated for that, I mean heck, they have been to Milwaukee!!! Wow! They are the ones that will run over your toes at Woodman's with their shopping carts. They will whack you over the head for the last ripe banana that costs a whol nickel less than at Cub Foods. Yes, this is also the other self absorbed demographic that patronizes Woodman's. Mass consumerism above all else and if you don't bow to the might 10 cent savings you must be racist, clasist, sexist, and whatever other slur they can conjur up just because it's self serving to blame people who actually write real reviews vs. how they wish things were. Tthey can be the high and mighty, morally correct posters who pat themselves on their backs for being such good people and having their friends make phony posts to create the illusion that others share their distorted views.

I actually used to work at Woodman's. It sounds like these people who think shopping here is a walk in the park must have just left the psych ward from One Flew Over the Cockoo's Nest. Employee owned? Joke. Do you know what that even means? Do you think the employees actually influence the store policies or are treated better because of this? Wrong. More erroneous assumptions from people who suffer from the ME syndrome and think they are helping out the little people by shopping here.

Yeah, sounds like fun shopping amongst these kind of people, right? Remember, this is their world, we just live in it and Woodman's happens to be their grocer of choice.

That's a review of a grocery store. Really! The rest of the Yelp reviews are fun to read just for general bitching about other people as well as tales of great supermarket shopping finds (a 7lb. beef heart!).

It's funny, I found the reviews by looking up hating Madison, but reading the reviews reminded me of a place that kind of makes me love Madison.