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  • New Evidence Proves First Flag Made By Betsy Ross Actually Shirt For Gay Friend
  • Colbert Leads Huntsman in S.C.
  • Polish prosecutor 'shoots self after news conference'
  • Jim Rome leaving ESPN. Bonus: Footage of Jim Rome getting attacked by Jim Everett & crying like a baby
  • Broncos, Tim Tebow stun Steelers in OT, win 29-23 in NFL playoffs
       [ 2 comments ]
  • Video: Remember 2008
       [ 1 comment ]
  • Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop faces weapon and drug charges
  • Video: Green Bay anchorman loves lamp
  • Video: Rodgers & Raji in the new Discount Double Check ad
  • Jim Rome: out of The Jungle and onto the (horse) farm
  • New IL Law Requires Photo ID To Buy Drain Cleaner
  • Fawn Cuddles Kitten, Hearts Explode
  • The priest who changed the course of history for the worse... by rescuing four-year-old Hitler from drowning in icy river
  • Get Fit or Get Fined: Web Service Offers to Charge You for Skipping the Gym
  • Fine proposed for botching US national anthem
  • Why Best Buy is Going out of Business...Gradually
       [ 1 comment ]
  • Edina boutique takes heat for trashing $4,000-plus gowns
  • Law Student Goes 'Homeless by Choice' Touts Value of Gym Club Membership
  • VIDEO: Snoop Dogg on 'The Price Is Right'
  • Flynn and Out
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  • Don't put Bielema on the firing line
       [ 1 comment ]
  • Your end of the season Vikings comment thread
       [ 2 comments ]
  • Mass. budget motel fights forfeiture by feds
  • Vikings scrutinize downtown Mpls. stadium site near basilica
       [ 2 comments ]
  • Kelly Clarkson criticized on Twitter after singer endorses Ron Paul for President 
  • Political Predictions for 2012
  • We're All Doing The Best We Can
  • Video Of Little Girl Getting Pissed Off About Pink Toys Will Make Your Heart Swell
  • The 10 best sports-related Hitler Reactions of 2011
  • Happy Endings on the housing crisis
  • Why You Just Got New York Times Spam
  • There Will Be No Friday This Week In Samoa
  • The Most Hipster State In The US
  • Online Merchants Home in on Imbibing Consumers
       [ 1 comment ]
  • On islamic fashion
       [ 1 comment ]
  • Sears as Lampert's 'Mismanaged Asset' Loses Customers to Macy's
       [ 1 comment ]
  • 5 social network predictions for 2012
  • Cheetah, chimp star of classic Tarzan movies, dies at 80
  • The Hottest Things on TV in 2011
  • Beer in cans: It's not just for Bud anymore
  • Seven Packers earn Pro Bowl selections
  • The Worst Angry Christmas Tweets In the World
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  • Minnesota cities try to hold back on rented housing
  • Why Iowa Shouldn't Vote First Anymore
  • Some Falcons Players Upset Drew Brees Went For The Record Last Night
  • We've Identified Jilted Packergirl
  • With its 'W' initiative, ESPN tries to solve the equation of serving women sports fans
       [ 2 comments ]
  • Owner surprised to find cat regularly catches bus
  • Charles Barkley: Skip Bayless Has Surpassed Peter Vecsey As The Biggest Jackass In The History Of Journalism
  • Handicapping the 2011 NFL MVP Race, 2.0

     

  • The Return of Vital Idol - The Guys' Semifinals

       March 01, 2011

    My Restaurant Week dinner at Fogo de Chao got cancelled, so instead of being served meat by friendly gauchos, I'll be served cheese by a variety of schlocky American Idol contestants.

    I'm going to do some semi-live blogging of the show, so be sure to check back for updates throughout the broadcast.

    Okay, let's get this thing going. Ryan introduces the judges, they pretend to swear and James Durbin immediately makes me hate him, even if he does have my mental illness of choice.

    Clint Jun Gamboa is up first singing that old chestnut "Superstitious". How fresh! Clint has giant, red, clown feet, no range and too much vibrato. He doesn't have a bad tone to his voice, but there's nothing really interesting about him other than those clown feet and thick glasses. The ultimate "meh". 4.

    Jovany Barreto romances us with "I'll Be". Seriously? For someone with so much bravado, this is actually kind of a tender performance, but he gets lost in the background singers. It's all very cheesy. But it's a nice cheese, like a good smoked gouda. I'll give him a 5.

    Jordan Dorsey is singing some popular song I don't know, maybe "OMG" by Usher? The lyrics say "Shorty dancing sexy", so that's cool. Jordan doesn't really have a great voice, but he's an interesting performer. The judges don't like him, but he wasn't boring and he's very cute and he's typically not a "jumpy jumpy singer". 6

    I missed Tim Halperin, which is to say that I don't think I missed very much. Brett Loewenstern, the competition's resident ginger wants to "Light My Fire". Since he's about 15 and 100 pounds soaking wet this is more than just a little disturbing. All that said, this isn't a purely karaoke performance. He brings something different. I don't know exactly what it is or even if I really like it. But I do know I'd like to hear him sing again. Basically, he's the Johnny Weir of Idol, god love him. 7.5.

    Annoying James Durbin and his stupid scarf tail are up next. He's singing Judas Priest's "You've Got Another Thing Coming", which makes me want to vote for him in the vain hope that maybe he'll sing some Aldo Nova later on. A girl can dream. He's all sob story and screechy voice and fauxhawk and posturing. He just needs to go back home and front a Guns N Roses tribute band. The judges eat it up because they're stupid (and not Simon). It's a 2.

    Robbie Rosen is singing "Angel" by Sarah McLachlan and it's just comically awful. His voice breaks up over the course of the song like he's Peter Brady singing "Time for Change". And beyond the terrible performance, let's not even discuss how that song reminds me of those depressing Humane Society ads. The worst of the night so far. 1. I kind of can't believe there's someone I like less than James. JLo tries to defend his singing as some kind of bold artistic choice, but I don't buy that "sucking" is an artistic choice rather than a general lack of talent.

    Old school country boy Scotty McCreery sings some country song I don't know. Something about "Johnsonville". Brats? I love his voice, but he keeps smirking at the camera. I think he thinks he's being charmy, but he's really being smarmy. Also, he kind of looks like George W. Bush doesn't he? Anyway, you'll note I've said very little about his singing, that's because he undeniably does have a really good voice, he just needs to lay off the cheese. 7.

    Stefano Langone is singing "Amazing" (I dunno, I assume that's the name). He's a mess. He's missing notes and is very breathy. Clearly, he's cannon fodder. He wasn't as bad Robbie and I don't hate him as much as James, so I guess he gets a 3. JLo claims he's a "beast". I think at this point you need to remember that she married Marc Anthony.

    Paul McDonald is singing Rod Stewart's "Maggie May". Compared to all of the teens that proceeded him, Paul looks like someone's drunk, creepy uncle. That's not at all helped by the bizarre smile he keeps flashing the audience. I still think he could be a decent singer with the right kind of quirky, slower song, but this ain't it. This is frankly frightening. Wow. I liked this guy coming in, but this was awful. I'll give him a 4 because at least he kept my attention, even if it was in kind of a bad way.

    Speaking of bad things, my second least favorite contestant Jacob Lusk brings his uniquely awful overwrought stylings to "A House Is Not A Home". Jacob has a nice voice when he actually holds a note instead of dancing all around it like an obnoxious, cheesy jackass. He needs to be on Glee, where his show choir style would actually be appropriate. I'll give him a 4, knowing full well that he'll be around for weeks and weeks, just to torture me. Because it's all about me.

    Finally, sitting in the pimp spot is Casey Abrams. He's singing "I Put A Spell On You" and as much as I might like Casey, isn't this kind of Taylor Hicksesque? At this point, I don't want to hear someone going all crazy, I'd rather he just sing. Is Casey a good singer? I have no idea, and that's a problem. He gets a very tentative 6.5.

    Overall, I do miss the judges giving any kind of criticism. These were a bunch of mediocre performances and sometimes you need a crabby Englishman to call a spade a spade (or a giant cheeseball that he's a cheeseball, Jacob).

    My top three:

    Brett
    Scotty
    Casey

    My guess is that the final six guys will be:

    Jacob
    James
    Scotty
    Casey
    Brett
    and Paul or Jordan as a judges' choice.


    Posted by kris at March 1, 2011 05:50 PM

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    Comments

    #  March 2nd, 2011 9:24 AM      james
    Overall, I think this is a pretty weak group. I felt like the judges' praises were a bunch of BS, and they knew it. I liked Scotty & James. Anyone who does Judas Priest on Idol gets my vote. DialIdol has pegged Scotty as the clear winner, which kind of surprises me. Clint wasn't bad, but I think people dislike him for the way he acted earlier in the show.  
     
    #  March 2nd, 2011 9:35 AM      kris
    I just can't be rational about James. He just reminds me too much of someone I really dislike named James (not you) who even kind of looks like him.  
     
    #  March 2nd, 2011 10:43 AM      kris
    I wonder how accurate Dial Idol will even be with online voting? Although, I tried it last night and it was annoying and clunky to deal with, so maybe not that many people will end up using it.  
     

     

     


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