As we reported earlier on The Daily Page, two Frenchmen are alleging that they were abused during their 2 year detention in a military prison at Guantanamo Bay, saying of their experience, "We have emerged from hell." Said one of the imprisoned French terrorists:

'"bizarre" medicines had been given to inmates at night and [sic] one caused some prisoners to break out in spots." He gave no other details.

We wanted to know, just what were these "bizzare medicines" that were given to these unfortunate souls, and why isn’t the media talking about it? I'm happy to report that we've broken the story. I'm sure that Drudge will probably pick this up and it'll go mainstream, so, remember, you read it here first.

Frenchman Interrogation Agent Number One This nasty substance, code-named "soap" by top government officials, has been an effective Frenchman interrogation tool throughout much of the 20th century. However, as with most tools of war, this is not your grandfather's "soap." As is plainly indicated by the "2000" designation, this heavy-duty product is definitely a weapon for the 21st century. "Because Frenchmen have increased their dirtyness over the years, we've had to come up with more effective tools," said a top-government official who agreed to speak on the condition of anonymity. "1950-era soap has little or no effect on the Frenchman of today; he's developed an unbelieveably high tolerance."

Frenchman Interrogation Agent Number Two This is a particularly nasty form of the "soap" interrogation tool listed above is similar, but comes in a liquid form. "Often, it's hard to get close enough to the Frenchman to use the bar form of the soap," said the same top-government official." "We're able to use this liquid form in conjuction with our state of the art laser guided soap delivering tools (see exclusive photo below) to achieve the same positive effect with minimal risk to the olfactory senses of American soldiers."

At Left: DUMMOCRATS WORLD EXCLUSIVE! Top-secret photo of state of the art laser guided soap delivering tool, used in conjuction with liquid form of "soap" formula, above. Image taken without permission of the US Government by a top-secret Russian satellite passing over Cuba.

Frenchman Interrogation Agent Number Three When the interrogations get tough, the tough pull out this tool, called a "toothbrush" by many in the military. While we were unable to get an official confirmation as to what exactly this nasty device is used for, rumor has it that it is used in conjunction with a paste-like substance to leave the victim's teeth "fresh, minty, and clean." Suffice it say, the government's continued silence on the topic speaks volumes. Note the cross-action of the bristles in the zoomed in portion of the image - the angle of each bristle is allegedly carefully chosen by top-Army scientists to ensure the maximum, "hell on earth" minty-effect, and at least one source tells us that the different colors of the bristles are a top-secret state-of-the-art technology that lets an Army interrogator know when its time to switch to a new tool, thus ensuring the maximum "hell-like" effect. Rumors abound about semi-automatic or automatic versions of this hellish tool, but we've been unable to confirm these reports. However, we were able to hire a police sketch artist to reproduce what this tool is alleged to look like.

Artist's rendition of alleged "semi-automatic" version of "toothbrush" tool

Frenchman Interrogation Agent Number Four We are unsure of what this strange looking product labelled "ban" is used for, but we're told that it's applied to the underarms of detainees twice a day. We suspect that it is a time-released chemical of some sort, and the fact that it "goes on clear" leads us to believe that it is often secretly applied. Supporting this conclusion are rumors of another similar device called only "Secret." It's rumored that this "Secret" is similar to "Ban" in that it is "strong enough for a man," but different in that it is "pH balanced for a woman." Clearly, this nightmarish tool works by supplying some sort of chemical transdermally, and the fact that different versions are needed for men and women seems to indicate that it is hormone-related.

Needless to say, we are mortified that this sort of interrogation is going on in America! (err, make that Cuba. -Ed.) Remember, just like Abu Ghirab was entirely the fault of President George W. Bush, so is this human rights disaster. Frenchmen should not be subjected to these terrible tools of torture! So on November 2, vote for the only candidate that promises to get the permission of every foreign leader, every domestic leader, every special interest group, and the Reverend Jesse Jackson before subjecting foreigners, particularly French terrorist asshole foreigners, to this nightmare in the future.

BAN THE SOAP LAUNCHER NOW!
BAN THE TOOTHBRUSH NOW!
BAN BAN! STOP THE SECRET SECRET!

Allah Pundit hits a grand slam with the his latest, which Ace dubs "The Hamster Whisperer."

From the NYT:

Alexandra Kerry's Remarks to the Democratic National Convention
...
We were standing on a dock waiting for a boat to take us on a summer trip. Vanessa, the scientist, had packed all her animals including her favorite hamster. Our over-zealous golden retriever got tangled in his leash and knocked the hamster cage off the dock. We watched as Licorice, the unlucky hamster bubbled down to a watery doom. That might have been the end of the story. But my dad jumped in, grabbed an oar, fished the cage from the water, hunched over the soggy hamster and began to administer CPR. There were some reports of mouth-to-mouth, but, I admit that’s probably a trick of memory. He was never quite right after that, but Licorice lived. Like I said, it may sound silly. We still laugh about it today. But, to us it was serious and that’s what mattered to my father.

Kuwaiti Newspaper Al Bawaba is reporting that Abu Musab Zarqawi has been captured near the Syrian border.

This is the second time this story has broken in the last 24 hours; yesterday, we reported that a Russian newspaper was claiming the same. That report was later retracted by the paper.

I don't know which is more reliable, a Kuwaiti paper or a Russian paper - it's probably a horse apiece. But the fact that there are two reports in two separate unreputable news sources makes it at least a little more likely, doesn't it?

South End Grounds hits the nail on the head with this astute wrapup of the DNC.

In the major speeches that most Americans had a chance to see (Carter, both Clintons, John Edwards, Gore, Teresa Heinz Kerry, Barack Obama, Max Cleland and Kerry), Viet Nam was mentioned by name 17 times. That is in addition to the introductions of Kerry's shipmates and the hefty emphasis on Viet Nam in the introductory video. It would be easy to forget that he protested the war. Coversely, The organization that instigated the War on Terror, Al Qaeda, was mentioned by name a mere three times, twice in the same breath by Al Gore.

If someone from Mars landed here just to watch this convention, they might easily believe that we are currently engaged in combat in Southeast Asia and that the War on Terror is a distant memory. This was a convention dominated by people living in a bygone era, more concerned with the war protests they waged in the '60s than the battle we are presently fighting. They dwell on the past and have no vision for the future.

That's a great observation. I almost missed it, too, because I was in such shock that he was able to make it through every major speech - I gave up on the first day.

Remember the 1976 RNC convention, where the Republicans nominated President Ford instead of Ronald Reagan? After seeing Reagan's acquiesence speech, and after seeing Gerry Ford's acceptance speech, many RNC delegates sent their palms forehead-ward and bemused "we nominated the wrong guy!"

Hasn't that just happened again? I know, it's a bit different now, because these days, the candidate is already chosen before the convention begins. But still, don't you get the feeling that DNC stalwarts are thinking the same thing? That they nominated the wrong guy?

Anyway, I'm more interested in this plea that I found on Drudge: "IF ANYONE HAS AUDIO OF CNN LIVE FEED OF OPEN MIC FROM DNC BOOTH AND YELLING AT FAILURE OF BALLOONS, PLEASE EMAIL TO MDRUDGE@AOL.COM..."

So we know that there is a story there. Balloons failed.

BREAKING....

Ahmed Khalfan Ghailani, suspected in the bombings of the US Embassies in Kenya & Tanzania was captured in Pakistan today.

Upon hearing the news, my first thought was, "great!". My second thought was to wonder how long it would be before some crazy liberal would question the timing.

I challenged Hat to a race to see who could find such questioning the fastest. It wasn't even close ;-). It took me about a minute to find a thread on the Democratic Underground. Now, granted, this isn't as looney as it could be, but it's early. Give them time.

How telling is it that when a horrible murderer is captured, the left can only bemoan the timing? Hmmm, it's almost as if the left is rooting for our enemies. Nah, couldn't be.

A British parliamentary committee says that the US-led coalition's failure to restore security has turned Iraq into a battleground for the likes of Al-Qaeda.

The report states that "Iraq has become a 'battleground' for Al-Qaeda, with appalling consequences for the Iraqi people." and that the the coalition created a vacuum that militants, terrorists and criminals have stepped into.

While I'll agree that it's too bad for the Iraqi people (although still better than living under Saddam), is it a bad thing to create such a vaccum in Iraq? If instead of searching for al-Qaeda like a needle in a haystack in Afghanistan and beyond, they are coming to us in Iraq, that's actually a very good thing. The fact of the matter is that if we can confront terrorists head to head we will defeat them. We have overwhelming military might.

This isn't an unheard-of military strategy. I guess this committee overloooked that in their haste to criticize America. Oh well, at least they have lots of company.

Bill Wineke at the Wisconsin State Journal has some advice and a theory:

Here's what I would like to see John Kerry say tonight:

"I don't want to have a beer with you, either."

For some reason, the gold standard of measuring a candidate for high office these days is the beer test: Would you want to go out and have a beer with this guy?

Under that standard, we elected Bill Clinton rather than George H.W. Bush. Under that standard, we elected George W. Bush, rather than Al Gore.

I think his theory is right, but his advice is wrong. When we vote for President, we're voting for someone to represent us to the world, we're not just voting for a policy wonk. Personality matters. But not because we're stupid & shallow, but rather because who the President is, beyond his or her ideas, is the face of America to the world. And America, like it or not, is a beer drinker's country.

Naturally, we want they face to be someone like us. And please, don't play the race card with that statement. We're all smarter than that. I feel a far stronger bond with someone like Herman Cain than I do with Hillary Clinton. The problem for Kerry is that he's not like us. He holds himself in a world that the average American cannot relate to. Likewise, I wouldn't expect Kerry to be able to relate to the average American. Unfortunately for him, that skill is a prerequisite to the position of President.

I wholeheartedly believe that , indeed, John Kerry wouldn't want to have a beer with me. He doesn't need to say it tonight because his actions make it obvious. On November 2nd, I plan to make it obvious I wouldn't want to have a beer with him either.

:-)

Ok, HUGE disclaimer on this one: Russian news agency RIA Novosti is reporting that Abu Musab al-Zarqawi was arrested in Iraq. Keep in mind that Russian news is frequently wrong, and that no other news outlet is carrying this story. So take it for what it's worth, which may be nothing at all.

Since the news site hosting this story seems to have falled off the internet, (or has been farked by fark posting this link to them, we've reprinted the story below.

Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, the "wild card" in US pack of wanted men, has reportedly been arrested in Western Iraq. Photo by AFP Top news: 29 July 2004, Thursday.

Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, head of the group suspected of beheading two Bulgarian hostages, has reportedly been arrested in Western Iraq.

Al-Zarqawi has been arrested by Iraqi police and US military close to the border with Syria, Russian news agency RIA Novosti reported, citing information posted on the Internet.

Zarqawi was dressed in a white T-shirt and blue jeans. Reports claim that he didn't oppose the arrest.

A blood sample has been sent to Baghdad for DNA tests.

A group linked to Zarqawi is suspected of carrying out a wave of attacks in late June that killed more than 100 people and injured hundreds more in attacks in five Iraqi cities.

Zarqawi is also said to have been involved in the beheading of an American contractor, Nick Berg, shown on a video released on 11 May.

In 2003, he was named as the brains behind a series of lethal bombings - from Casablanca in Morocco to Istanbul in Turkey.

The US is now offering a USD 25 M reward for the capture of Zarqawi, the "wild card" in its pack of wanted men.

The remains of one of the Bulgarian hostages, Georgi Lazov, killed by the Zarqawi's terrorists have been transported back home early on Thursday.

The 30-year old Bulgarian truck driver Lazov and his colleague Ivaylo Kepov, 32, were abducted June 29 near the northern city of Mosul. A group affiliated with al-Zarqawi said it kidnapped the Bulgarians and demanded Iraqi detainees be released in exchange for their lives. The group later sent a tape to Al-Jazeera television that showed Lazov being killed. His death was officially confirmed July 22.

Kepov's fate is still not clear though Bulgarian media cited an Iraqi official who said that the Bulgarian is dead and his body has been found. Bulgaria's authorities have not been able to confirm Kepov's death.

This would, of course, be fantastic news for the GOP. If true, it will break on the same day that John Kerry is supposed to accept the nomination, leading to more ridiculous allegations of a vast right-wing conspiracy.

For all you bloggers who haven't yet received your RNC invitation, there's still hope. The AP reports that Republican convention spokesman Leonardo Alcivar said they expect to invite 10-20 bloggers to the convention. And, "Though Alcivar said he did not know how many bloggers got invitations this week, he expected additional ones will be invited based on how many accept by Thursday."

So, just a reminder to our friends in the GOP:

James @ dummocrats.com
Kris @ dummocrats.com

We'll both vote in Wisconsin, a HUGE battleground state. I'm sure the convention needs voices from the heartland, right?

In 1979, President Jimmy Carter was attacked by a killer rabbit while fishing in Georgia. A press account said the rabbit was "hissing menacingly, its teeth flashing and nostrils flared and making straight for the president."

The incident rightly helped paint Carter as an ineffectual leader. Now, 25 years later, the Dems are falling prey to wascally wabbits again. Pictures like the one below could very well be the downfall of John Kerry. And not a moment too soon.

But, we humans can't place our future in the paws of rabbits. We need to donate our time and our money to the campaign.

Let's say you're some kind of loner (cowboy if you will) Republican and you don't want to get involved to those degrees. That's fine. You can still do your part. Get a bumper sticker. Get a yard sign. Make your support public. Too often the liberals among us assume that everyone agrees with them except "extremists". Don't forget that at least half of the country feels the way we do. Don't be afraid to show it.

And, we need to keep up the great work as the Truth Squad debunking liberal lies and distortions this week. Check out the sites below for their take on brouhaha in Boston.

From the College Republican National Committee:

The John Kerry "Flip-Flops," which are two seven-foot tall foam costumes, made their way to Boston this week for the DNC Convention and were the talk of the town, making news everywhere in demonstration of Kerry's lack of conviction on key issues and sustained President Bush's strong leadership of America.

See the Flip-Flop's popularity as they will be interviewed on Fox News Live tomorrow at 11:45 am EDT, spreading the conservative message of college students.

The Flip-Flops, who joined in the protest with four 10-foot tall cardboard flip-flops held by Massachusetts CR's, have been featured in several national publications this week, including this excerpt in an article from the National Review Online by John Cullinan.

"First prize for the cleverest performance art goes to a plucky band of college Republicans occupying a strategic traffic island en route to the Fleet Center. To call attention to Kerry's flip-flopping, these intrepid activists had constructed ? what else? ? eight-foot-tall flip-flops from DayGlo foam rubber, complete with holes for head and hands, allowing a lively exchange of views with passing DNC types. Hats off to this committed, personable, and necessarily thick-skinned bunch!"

For the full article, go to http://www.nationalreview.com/comment/cullinan200407271222.asp

Breaking on Drudge:

'MAN WHO FELL TO EARTH': DEMS CLAIM NASA LEAKED PHOTOS TO SMEAR

"Kerry campaign manager Mary Beth Cahill claims 'dirty tricks' by NASA after it released 'unauthorized' photographs showing the Dem presidential hopeful dressed in a space suit crawling through a rocket hatch."

Here we go again. A scant 6 days ago we reported on an alleged GOP conspiracy related to the "leak" of the Sandy Burglar allegations. The always at it Dems have now (surprise, surprise) alleged yet another conspiracy, this one originating from deep within the dirty dark underworld of NASA. No, it wasn't John Kerry himself that dressed up in that ridiculous looking costume and smiled for the cameras.

This party has gotten way beyond ridiculous. I almost feel sorry for running a site that pokes fun at them. I feel like I'm cruelly picking on the retarded kid that can't help himself.

UPDATE: Drudge has a story on it now. Excerpt:

HUME: so the campaign had no idea there would be any photographs.

CAHILL: none.

Blogs for Bush has been invited to the RNC. so has Slant Point. so has Wizbang. so has Captain Ed. So has A Small Victory.

Congrats to all!

And to everyone else, If you haven't been invited yet, don't get too discouraged - I'm sure that they're not finished sending out invites; We haven't received ours yet either. We'll let ya know when we do.

james -at- dummocrats.com (Washington, DC)
kris -at- dummocrats.com (Wisconsin, a very important swing state)

;-)

After Hat stepped away halfway through Carter, I thought I'd give it a whirl. I lasted for all of Hillary. I'm calling her Hillary the Hawk. She was clearly campaigning for herself in 2008 and trying to position herself as some kind of liberal Margaret Thatcher.

It's about 3/4 of the way (I'd hope) through Bill and, good readers, I'm afraid I can't do this anymore. I'm seriously worried about my mental (and dental---from all the teeth clenching) health. While Bill was charming, he lost me when he tried to claim that Bush and the Republicans alone were against signing Kyoto and allowing Americans to be under the jurisdiction of the International Criminal Court. It makes a nice sound bite and I don't expect the national media to dispute it, but those are lies, plain and simple. And, I don't want to even get into his distorted take on tax cuts.

The fact is, I expect this kind of rhetoric at a convention. I just shouldn't have expected to be able to stand it without wanting to throw up.

No more convention coverage from me. I'm spent.

USA Today hired conservative firebrand Ann Coulter to cover the DNC. Apparently they did so without ever having read one of her columns. Ms. Coulter turned in her first piece and USA Today promptly refused to publish it. Now, if she was a liberal you can be sure we'd have dozens of washed up rock stars and Michael Moore screaming "censorship!!" and "1st Amendment".

While I respect USA Today's right to publish what they want, I think they're just incredibly stupid. How could they not know what to expect from Coulter? Clearly, someone hired her without even the most elementary knowledge of her writing style. Is this how liberals run a business?

So anyway, Coulter's column is up on her website and it's a beauty. I sincerely wish thousands and thousands of business travelers could have had their coffee with it this morning. In fact, I love it so much that I have to post a few excerpts.

Coulter claims she can tell right away who her fellow conservatives lurking at the DNC are. They have cross or flag pins, they're the cops and the pretty girls. Why the pretty girls?

As for the pretty girls, I can only guess that it's because liberal boys never try to make a move on you without the UN Security Council's approval. Plus, it's no fun riding around in those dinky little hybrid cars. My pretty-girl allies stick out like a sore thumb amongst the corn-fed, no make-up, natural fiber, no-bra needing, sandal-wearing, hirsute, somewhat fragrant hippie chick pie wagons they call "women" at the Democratic National Convention.

On the Democratic way of "supporting our troops":

The nuts in the cages are virtual Bertrand Russells compared to the official speakers at the Democratic Convention. On the basis of their placards, I gather the caged-nut position is that they love the troops so much, they don't want them to get hurt defending America from terrorist attack. Support the troops, the signs say, bring them home.

That's my new position on all government workers, except the 5% who aren't useless, which is to say cops, prosecutors, firemen and U.S. servicemen. I love bureaucrats at the National Endowment of the Arts funding crucifixes submerged in urine so much -- I think they should go home. I love public school teachers punishing any mention of God and banning Christmas songs so much -- I think they should go home.

Oh man, I don't support all of Coulter's positions, but you just gotta love someone who starts a column by refering to this week's event as the "Spawn of Satan convention".

Of course, liberals will whine about these nasty Republicans. And of course, they will put on a good face in front of the TVs this week. But, rest assured, in the halls and backrooms of the convention, Bush=Hitler, conservatives=digital brownshirts and France=our ally.

Ok, I've had about all of the DNC that I can handle, so I'm done. I made it halfway through President Carter.

Some observations:

1) On CNN, I caught the announcers talking about the "blog buzz" generated by Gore's speech. A scant 10 mins after he was finished talking, these yahoos were up there saying "We're getting an overwhelmingly positive response from the blogosphere, from all over the world, blah blah blah...." Yeah, right. CNN, "the only station that has ever anchored from the floor of the DNC," expects us to believe that 10 mins after Gore spoke, the whole world hopped onto the internet and started pecking away at their keyboards, all to praise Gore's ridiculous "sour grapes" speech. Whatever. Now you know why the DNC made such a big deal about their inviting bloggers to the convention - so they could go on TV and make it look like they have a huge Howard Dean-style grass-roots support base. Guess what bloggers? As Ashton Kutcher would say, "You got PUNK'D!"

2. Not a single camera shot of the audience doesn't have a black person in it. You think I'm kidding? Talk about playing the race card. The DNC is trying hard as hell to look like the "party of diversity," and why? You've really got to think about that. It's certianly not to attract the Black vote - Blacks overwhelmingly vote Democrat, by something like 95%. Wake up, Black America. These tools are using you as pawns to further their own racist agenda.

Why is John Kerry wrong for your state? GeorgeWBush.com has a neat little flash thingy that will tell you.

The interactive application is a neat idea, but I have one suggestion for the flash gurus over there:

When you click on "Wisconsin," it probably shouldn't say "The Illinois Facts."

Those of you not lucky enough to be from the Dairy State may not know this, but Wisconsinites are not too keen on their flatlander breatheren to the south. In fact, they've even developed a series of cute little nicknames for them, ranging from the common FIB to slightly-less-common FISHTAB.

Anyway, my point is : As the campaign staff is well aware, Bush lost Wisconsin by about 5,000 votes last time. Insulting the good people of Wisconsin by confusing them with the Illini is not the way to make up that deficit.

You think I'm kidding, and I am, for the most part. But there is also a serious streak to what I say. Both campaigns are spending a lot of money to try to look "in touch" with the people. They're duking it out for the so called "swing voter." These "swing voter" people change their minds faster than John Kerry flips to a flop, usually based on a lot less than a simple mix up like this.

5,000 votes.

We've got Ms. Heinz-hyphen-Kerry opining that the world is more dangerous because the US toppled a dangerous and oppressive dictatorship in Iraq, and we've got Sandy Burglar Berger saying that "We've unilaterally invaded Iraq and stirred up a hornets' nest, which has created turmoil around the world."

OK, let's go with this hornet nest analogy. If there is a hornets' nest hanging in your shed, and the hornets fly over every so often and sting your children as they play in the backyard, what do you do about it? Do you appease the hornets by putting up nets to catch them before they get to your children? Do you tell your children that its their fault that the hornets sting them, and tell them to play elsewhere? Do you build little bubble-containment units for your guests to wear so that the hornets can't get to them?

Or do you get yourself some bug spray and a broom and take care of the problem? Sure, when you initially tackle the problem you might get stung a few times. But isn't that better than making your children live in fear of the hornets? Isn't that better than allowing the hornets to inflict 10 times as many stings over the coming years? Isn't that better than allowing the hornets nest to grow, until it gets so big that you're unable to do anything about it, even if your pansey-ass wanted to?

I really think that modern Democrats would take the personal bubble approach. I can hear them now....

"Hornets have just as much a right to be in the yard as we do!"

"Not all hornets are going to sting you. That's Hornet Profiling!"

Democrats, what have you let these nutjobs do to your party?

I don't want to make too big of a deal out of this, but it strikes me that Bakhtiar Amin, Iraq's human rights minister, may be focusing on the wrong aspects of Saddam's past:

"[Saddam] is looking after a few bushes and shrubs and has even placed a circle of white stones around a small palm tree," said Mr Amin, a Kurd from Kirkuk, who is the first member of Iraq's new interim government to visit Saddam. "His apparent care for his surroundings is ironic when you think he was responsible for one of the biggest ecocides when he drained the southern marshes."

First and foremost, I think that Saddam's history as one who commited numerous acts of genocide is much more relevant. But I'm willing to give Mr. Amin the benefit of the doubt on this one and chalk the inclusion of this phrase up to selective media reporting.

What I find much more disturbing is the fact that non-native English speakers are apparently under the impression that Ecocide is an actual English word. First, it isn't even in the Merriam-Webster dictionary, nor should it be, for "ecocide" is a made-up word, invented by whack-job left wingers that are trying to liken the "destruction" of an environment to a mass extinction or genocide of people. The term in and of itself is more inaccurate and disrespectful than I have words to describe; if you have trouble understanding that, just try explaining to a Holocaust survivor that draining a marsh causes the cattails the same amount of suffering as did the gassing of the Jews in WWII.

What, did Greenpeace get a say in picking members of the new Iraqi government?

The Clintons face quite a conundrum tonight. With Hillary looking to 2008, they desperately don't want Kerry/Edwards to win. Yet, at the same time, they can't be so obvious about it as to piss off their Dem base.

Do they put themselves on autopilot and start the Convention off with not a bang, but a whimper. Or, do they go all out and make such an impression that Kerry and Edwards will both pale in comparison and they (Hillary & Bill) will be the major story of the Convention?

My guess is that they do the latter. That way they can continue to look like the shining stars of their party. And really, how can they be blamed for the fact that Kerry, unlike Bill, has no charisma and, unlike Hillary, has no vision either.

Although, it's funny that people think Bill is even capable of such a speech. After all, before his Presidency he was best known for the thunderous round of sarcastic applause he received for the saying "and in conclusion" after his very long (and very boring) speech at the '88 convention.

Drudge reports:

Democrat party officials are struggling to contain the amount of anti-Bush and anti-war comments to be delivered this week during the convention in Boston, the DRUDGE REPORT has learned.

DNC chair Terry McAuliffe has expressed concern that nonstop Bush bashing from the podium could quickly spiral out of control and backfire.
...
"We are not Michael Moore," McAuliffe has told his top staffers, according to a well-placed source. "Let's tell the voters what we stand for, not only what we stand against."

Oh, look at that, it looks as if the previous strategy of bashing Bush 24/7 is backfiring on the Dems! Don't think that this "toning down" of the Bush bashing is for any other reason - these loons were content to ride the Bush-bashing wave as long as they thought it brought them supporters. The Dems were at the forefront of the "anti-Iraq" movement, the Dems were leading the pack on the "Bush lied, people died" movement.

It's especially hilarious that Terry McAuliffe admonishes the rest of the party by saying "We are not Michael Moore." What? Back up for a minute here!

First, this might be the first time that any Democrat has ever admitted that Moore's ridiculous "documentary" was actually a fact-deficient Bush bash-fest.

Next, as everyone well knows, the Dems were ALL OVER the Michael Moore movie until it started getting debunked all over the blogosphere. Looking back on it, I think that this might be a great example of how blogs are starting to make a real difference in influencing public opinion. The liberal-leaning brick-and-mortar media establishments were hailing F-9/11 as a "masterpiece," as "an important piece of investigative journalism" before it was even released. And the "buzz" might have stayed that way, if not for modern technology. Weblogs and ubitiquous internet access allowed common people, regular people, people with real jobs to call the media onto the carpet for their endorsement of this largely "fictional" piece.

When the movie started getting debunked, the media didn't apologize, they just dropped it. And now it looks like the DNC is trying to do the same.

Have you any idea how many prominent Democrats were at the Washington premeire of Fahrenhet 9/11? This Washington Post picture is worth a thousand words:

Yep, that's right, that is Top Dem himself, Terry McAuliffe, with Bush-basher Michael Moore at the Uptown Theatre in NW Washington. Then, he was desperate for a photo-op that would show the public that the DNC was closely associated with the movie. But now, McAuliffe tries to distance the party from the movie, by saying : "We are not Michael Moore."

Talk about flip-flopping.

Make no mistake about it, this ticket, indeed, the whole DNC platform may be falling apart before your eyes. Have you seen the news coverage of the "protesters" in Boston? They aren't the same old anti-abortion types that you would expect. Instead, the DNC is being plagued with socialistic anti-war protesters. And they are SHOCKED. Said one protester:

Like others in the march, Piette said she sees little difference between Sen. John Kerry and President George W. Bush.

"We really need an independent voice," she said. "They have identical positions."

Terry McAuliffe is scared as hell - he thought that they would win because they had the pacifist, anti-war, socialist nut-job, and A.N.S.W.E.R. vote locked up. Turns out they don't.

Whoops.

I was driving down I-66 yesterday, heading from Falls Church to DC, when I spotted a car sporting the Virginia license plate "LIBERAL." As you would expect, the driver somewhat oblivious to the world around her and was doing about 5 under the speed limit and causing congestion in the right hand lane. Despite this, I got really, really, excited upon seeing the plate and immediately slammed on the brakes and got behind her, and started hysterically demanding that my passenger start snapping pics immediately. Suffice it to say, she was a little freaked out by my reaction, but hey, when you're a crack reporter for an internationally respected newssource such as dummocrats.com, you take these things seriously.

For that matter, I wonder of the Virginia DOT would even allow a "BIPOLAR" plate to issue. Did you ever see that feature on the smoking gun where they list the letters that various DOTs have received, requesting that certain plates be cancelled? Examples include 'FL 8 ME,' '50HATER,' and, of course, the perennial favorite, 'IH8GOP.'

I think it might be fun to write to the Virginia DOT to request that it be cancelled on the grounds that 1) it offends me, or, alternatively, on the grounds that it insults people afflicted with this mental disease, just like a plate that read "RETARDED" would undoubtedly "offend" some. Hey, maybe I could even get the ACLU on my my side.....

With the help of OpinionJournal.com's handy Electoral College Calculator and Dale's fabulous Electoral College Breakdown 2004, here's how I see the election breaking down. (A quick caveat, these are my opinions only, James doesn't necessarily agree with me and, while I look at current polls, some of this is also based on simple hunches of what's going to happen a couple of months down the road).

As you can see, I didn't really change that much from my last guess. Upon further review, I decided Oregon would swing to Kerry. I know that some recent polls show Wisconsin leaning to Kerry, but I don't buy it. The Bush campaign is going after the state hard and, when it comes down to it, I believe the good people of Wisconsin (outside of Madison that is) will recognize that Kerry is a complete phony. If there's one thing Cheeseheads won't accept, it's a phony.

I'm confident that Ohio will go to Bush. Dale's still has it leaning to Bush despite the Kerry's advertising barrage. If it's not going to Kerry now, it never will (okay, maybe for a little while right after the convention, but that's it).

I've no doubt that this map will look very silly in light of polls taken immediately after the DNC, but keep in mind that this race is a marathon, not a sprint.

I saw this picture and caption over at Lucianne.com and got a pretty good chuckle out of it. So true, so true. I hadn't heard of Lucianne.com before today, but the site looks pretty cool, and I look forward to reading them in the future.

Bush hating delegates head toward Boston

Just like every rose has its thorn and every night has its dawn, every campaign must have a rock-n-roll theme song. For now the Kerry/Edwards campaign has settled on Johnny B. Goode. But we at Dummocrats.com think they can do better. And for that matter, so can Bush/Cheney. So, without further ado, here are our Top Ten Campaign Song Suggestions for each campaign.

Kerry/Edwards

10. Ship of Fools by Robert Plant
What better song for the Captain of the shipwreck that is the modern Democratic Party?

9. Did You Ever Have To Make Up Your Mind, by The Lovin' Spoonful
Campaign songs should send a message, they should get your point across, they should tell people where you're coming from. Clinton and Gore famously had "Don't stop, thinking about tomorrow..." as their celebration song - upon hearing it, voters immediately thought "Hey, these guys are thinking about tomorrow!" (Except for a few old and forgetful people that probably saw it as a great public service reminder.) In any event, "Did you ever have to make up your mind" is a great choice for Kerry - it immediately explains Kerry's constant waffling by saying, "hey, it's hard to make decisions!"

8. Life's Been Good, by Joe Walsh
Ahh, the John Kerry lifestyle. Swimming pools. Movie stars. I wouldn't know what it's like, but I'm pretty sure that this song comes close.

7. You're No Good, Linda Ronstadt
I'm thinking that Kerry could easily arrange for Linda & Michael Moore to perform a duet of this ditty at the DNC.

6. Money For Nothing, by Dire Straights
Since Kerry doesn't show up for work over 80% of the time, he certainly knows all about getting money for nothing.

5. Just A Gigolo, by David Lee Roth
What better song than this for a dedicated special-interests whore?

4. Promises, Promises, by Naked Eyes
All politicians get accused of breaking their promises, but how many actually promise to do something, then later that day promise another group of people that they will in fact never do that same something? If any candidate has a right to use Promises, Promises as a Campaign theme song, it's John F. Kerry.

3. Your Lyin' Eyes, by The Eagles
You can't hide, your lying eyes...... and the Botox, will not disguise......

2. Taxman, by The Beatles
Oh please, no explanation is required for this one. John Kerry is the Taxman (he's probably also the Assman, but that's another story).

And the number one campaign song for John F. Kerry is......

1. You Belong to the City, by Glenn Frey
I didn't think it could be done, but Glenn Frey has written the perfect John Kerry campaign theme song. And he did it 20 years ago! He must be freakin' Nostradamus re-incarnated or something. A quick look at a county-by-county voter map from the 2000 election will give you a rough idea of where Kerry's support lies. And this song is great, because it sends a message that rings true, a rare occurrence in today's world of dirty politics - if you're not in one of the 8 major metropolitan areas of the United States, John Kerry is not your candidate!

And, for our friends in the President Bush/Vice President Cheney camp, how about these tunes in addition to "Hail to the Chief"?

10. A Country Boy can Survive by Hank Williams, Jr.
Ask yourself, who would you rather have in charge of things, a man who knows how to live off the land or a man who whines when the coffee shop punk accidentally uses 2% in his half-caf-half-decaf-soy-double-skim-latte? Since ol' Bocephus isn't running for office himself this year, I'm sure that he wouldn't mind if GWB borrowed this diddy.

9. America, by Neil Diamond
For some, this can represent the wonder of America, that shining city on a hill. For others, this can be a jab at Bush's overly permissive illegal alien policies. Whichever meaning you choose to adopt, one thing is certainly true -- they ARE coming to America, in greater numbers than ever. Ask yourself - if the world really hates President Bush as much as the Left claims, then why are more people than ever lining up to get in? Hmm, perhaps we've stumbled on to the reason that foreign leaders hate Bush - because he lures away their tax base.

8. I Can See Clearly Now, by Jimmy Cliff
On January 20, 1981 it was morning in America. And on November 2, 2004, it's gonna be another bright, bright, sun shining day as the haze clears and we all defeat this sickness that is Liberalism.

7. Without Me, by Eminem
Let's face it, without W., what would the liberal media do? They'd have no outlet for their irrational hate. Maybe they don't know it, but they need Bush.

6. Holding Out for a Hero, by Bonnie Tyler
Sure, Ted Koppel doesn't think that Bush is a hero, but just ask one of the 23 million liberated Iraqis what they think.

5. I Wanna Be a Cowboy, by Boys Don't Cry
Any Bush election campaign has to have a cowboy song associated with it in some way. With so many great cowboy songs to choose from, I went with this one because it's easier to dance to than Willie Nelson's "My Heroes Have Always Been Cowboys."

4. The Future's So Bright (I Gotta Wear Shades), by Timbuk 3
My future, your future, the future of a nation. Reagan's tax cuts jump started the economy and created the huge tech boom that we saw in the 1990's. I've said it before and I'l l say it again - without Ronald Reagan, the personal computer wouldn't even exist. Bush's economic strategy stands a much better chance of priming the pump for your children than does Taxman Kerry's.

3. Eye of the Tiger, by Survivor
Hey, it worked for Rocky.

2. Rock the Casbah, by The Clash
That's right Middle Eastern Mullahocracies, Bush is your worst nightmare. He's gonna topple your corrupt regimes and rock your people (like a hurricane).

1. Pink Houses, by John Mellencamp
Ain't that America? Take another look at the map linked to above. This election all boils down to one thing - Bush's small town, independent and self-sufficient America v. Kerry's big city, dependent, handout-seeking socialistic America.

Whose side are you going to be on when the hammer falls?

As you can see, Kris posted her top 20 blogs below, and she recommended that I do the same. Problem is, I can't possibly narrow it down to 20, nor could I rank them. I use Mozilla Firebird, and I have 6 bookmark folders filled with probably 20 weblogs apiece. I normally go into one and hit "open all links in new tabs," then start the process of going through them all, one by one. Don't misunderstand - I don't mean to imply that it's a chore - it isn't at all. ( I read a lot )

There are a lot of great ones out there - some consistently great, some occasionally great, some once in a blue moon great but still well worth reading, etc. The links posted to the Daily Page give some indication of what I read that day.

John Hawkins at Right Wing News lists his top 40 blogs (and, sigh, we're not on it), but I thought I'd join in the fun anyway. Here is my current top 20, in no particular order:

1. Ace of Spades
2. Blogs for Bush
3. Michelle Malkin
4. Right Wing News
5. VodkaPundit
6. Volokh
7. Neophyte Pundit
8. Outside the Beltway
9. Oh, That Liberal Media
10. Raincross Conservative
11. Slant Point
12. e-Claire
13. Ramblings' Journal
14. Dale's Electoral College Breakdown
15. California Yankee
16. Sharp As A Marble
17. The Crease
18. Instapundit
19. The Patriette
20. Alamo Nation

Like everyone else, I like a blog that's updated regularly. In addition, I like blogs that have a sense of humor and a sense of place. Finally, I really like blogs that might actually link to us!

Washington Oculus writes about a story that the major media isn't reporting, but one that a local DC neighborhood paper, The Georgetowner, recently ran as a cover story: "Hometown Ticket: Kerry Chooses Edwards." That's right, Georgetown, one of the wealthiest zip codes (20007) in the nation, is proud that both members of the Democratic ticket have multi-million dollar homes in swank and exclusive Georgetown.

It's worth noting that just because these two yahoos have houses there, it doesn't mean that they have "homes" there - as you know, each Senator has attended fewer than 20% of the Senate votes this term, so they can't be spending that much time in Georgetown.

On another note, I'm guessing that the DNC was mortified by The Georgetowner's cover story - after all, they've spent so much time and money trying to paint both Kerry and Edwards as being in touch with the common working man. How many common working men that you know have a 4 million dollar second home near their workplace?

According to the Nielson Monitor-Plus and the University of Wisconsin Advertising Project 60% of Americans live in areas where no Presidential ads have aired since the end of primary season.

Additionally, the Bush campaign ads have outrun Kerry ads in 83 of 93 contested media markets. However, when Kerry's ads are combined with those of allied groups (Media Fund, MoveOn.org, etc.), he outguns Bush in 62 markets.

So where are the campaigns advertising? The top markets for both campaigns combined are:

1. Toledo, OH
2. Dayton, OH
3. Kansas City, MO
4. Columbus, OH
5. Cleveland, OH
6. St. Louis, MO
7. Portland, OR
8. Erie, PA
9. Las Vegas, NV
10. Detroit, MI

And below you'll find a breakdown of where each campaign is spending (and outspending).

Look at the two different strategies exposed in those tables. The Kerry campaign and their surrogates are throwing all their eggs in the Ohio basket, with a few strays in Missouri. To them, clearly, Ohio is do or die.

By contrast, the Bush campaign is targeting specific areas in several key states. Why? Because, Bush can win without Ohio. Bush has numerous winning scenarios, which either exclude or include some of the key battleground states. Kerry's strategy, on the other hand, reveals that his campaign does not have a winning scenario without Ohio.

The problem with the Kerry campaign is that this strategy is weak. Even if they can win Ohio, they'll still need to win (most likely) Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Michigan, New Hampshire, Maine, Iowa, Wisconsin, West Virginia and either Florida or Missouri. Can he do this without significant media buys in the vast majority of those states? It doesn't seem likely.

I just noticed this piece on drudge :

DNC Press Release MCAULIFFE FILES FREEDOM OF INFORMATION ACT REQUEST; Requests All Documents Shared Between the Department of Justice and White House Regarding Investigation of Sandy Berger

According to recent reporting, an investigation into former National Security Adviser Samuel Berger has been going on for at least nine months, since October 2003. Yet, the criminal investigation only came to light three days prior to the release of a report expected to be critical of the Bush administration's lack of focus on the events leading up to the 9-11 attacks.

Shame on the Republicans for getting evidence against someone before making any charges! Shame on them for trying to keep possibly innocent people's names out from under a cloud of suspicion!

You can't win either way - no matter when this was "released," the dummocrats would find a way to "charge" that it was politically motivated. It would be either
"they released too early, as part of a smear campaign!!" or "they purposely waited until right before (whatever is scheduled in the next week or so) to release this, I cry foul!"

Maybe the LA Lakers should have taken tip from the dummocrats and issued a press release charging "Colorado prosecutors purposely waited until right before the Nuggets/Lakers game to announce the charges against Kobe!"

spin, spin, spin, spin, spin. These people are selling crap and calling it gold, and too many people are buying it.

Did you ever notice that whatever happens in the world, if it looks bad for the dummocrats, or if it looks good for the Republicans, dummocrats are the first to run to the media charging that it was all part of a conspiracy against them? The most famous example, of course, is Hillary Clinton’s charge that a "vast right wing conspiracy" is at work against them. Lesser known examples include Gore’s recent charge that the Bush administration is "with a network of 'rapid response' digital Brown Shirts who work to pressure reporters and their editors for 'undermining support for our troops,’” top dums’ somewhat recent charges that Saddam Hussein’s capture was orchestrated as a PR stunt by the Bush administration, older charges that Bush somehow conspired with bin Laden to commit September 11th, and even a more widespread and bizarre charges that the Bush administration is currently hiding Osama bin Laden and will “trot him out” as the election draws near.

Staying true to form, the dummocratic brass is out in front of the Sandy Berger classified documents story with this charge that the whole thing is being “orchestrated” by the White House:

The Kerry campaign released a letter detailing campaign questions as to whether Vice President Dick Cheney and Republican National Committee Chairman Ed Gillespie orchestrated the Berger investigation leak.

The letter entitled "Cheney Strikes Back?" says: "The argument that the timing was politically motivated and coordinated by the White House was just made stronger by some very disturbing reports about Dick Cheney and Ed Gillespie."

No, they don’t talk about how Berger is guilty of actually committing the acts, instead they accuse the White House of being behind some sort of conspiracy that brought the information to light.

Why is everything a “conspiracy” to these people? Why is it always “they are against us” with these people?

It’s because these people don’t really believe in “government of the people, for the people, by the people,” like they claim. Sure, they agree with that principle when it suits their needs, but when “the people” don’t want what they want, they claim intellectual superiority, they claim that the people don’t really know what they want, they claim that “the people” are being brainwashed, or they come up with some magical and invisible “conspiracy” that is always working against them, suppressing the “true will of the people.”

Don’t be fooled by their act for one second. Just like the ACLU has little or nothing to do with “liberty,” and just like the ACS has nothing to do with preserving the Constitution, the Democratic Party has absolutely nothing to do with democracy or democratic principles.

Media outlets are breathlessly reporting that Al Franken's radio show on Air America is beating Bill O'Reilly in New York City ratings.

Reuters gives the story this headline: "Al Franken Beats O'Reilly in NY Radio Matchup". Um, except not. The devil is in the details.

First, Franken only beats O'Reilly in the 25-54 age group. Among all listeners aged 12 and up, O'Reilly still wins.

Second, both shows are still crushed by Rush Limbaugh.

A couple of thoughts. While advertiser-friendly demographics are important to the media, are they really important for those who would like to extend some political significance to Franken's ratings? I don't think so. To the extent that political parties pay attention to simple age demos, I'd expect them to care more for older Americans, who actually bother to vote.

Rush Limbaugh is a radio king. I wouldn't expect Al Franken to beat him. However, by all reports, O'Reilly's radio show stinks. If Franken can't even beat O'Reilly in ultra liberal New York City, how can he and Air America ever make a dent in Peoria?

Some words of wisdom today from Polish Prime Minister Marek Belka, in the wake of threats from terrorists to Poland, Japan and Bulgaria if they didn't withdraw from Iraq:

"The decision by the Philippines government only increases the danger for others," Belka said. "It is a very clear example of how when you bow in to the pressure of terrorists you increase the danger to others."

Right on.

As regulars know, I live in one of the most liberal areas of one of the most liberal cities in America. I'm certain that come November 2, I'll be among just a handful of people in my ward voting to reelect the President.

But, this past weekend, I was so happy to find Bush volunteers among the Kerry crowd, abortion activists and gay pride advocates at our famous Farmer's Market.

This was the first time I've seen Bush volunteers out and about. The nice man was so happy to give me stickers and bumper stickers. Now, I proudly display these items in my ultra liberal neighborhood. But I can do more. And you can too.

We all can donate our time and our money to the campaign.

And, you can keep reading and referring people to the great sites listed below:

Sign up to get your John Kerry bumper stickers here!

Why?
1. Waste their campaign's money. As you know, it takes money to print and send out bumper stickers. Requesting bumper stickers that you're just going to turn around and throw away is a great way to waste the Kerry campaign's money. Personally, it makes me feel great to know that I'm doing my part to offset the huge contributions made by the Hollywood socialist elite

2. Screw up their demographic "sampling" information. This one is very important, and is an area where we could do some real damage. As you know, several states, termed "battleground states," are close to being evenly split between Kerry and Bush. By requesting a lot of bumper stickers to these states, the dums will think that they have more support than they actually do, and will, as a consequence, start spending their money elsewhere.

But wait! That's not all!

The envelope containing the bumper sticker will no doubt contain a postage pre-paid envelope soliciting a contribution to their campaign. USE IT! (but don't include any money, obviously.) This too will waste the campaign's money, as they will be required to pay for the postage upon receiving that envelope in the mail, not to mention the processing costs associated with opening it, etc.

I know that it is embarassing to have dummocrat material delivered to your home. Believe me, I get more than my share. The postman must think that I'm Hillary Clinton and Teddy Kennedy's secret illegitimate love child. So try to think of yourself as a secret, undercover, covert-ops agent, just like Arnie in True Lies. People may think that you're a liberal now, but the truth will come out in November when you're celebrating another 4 years.

Add the banner to your website now! See "there's more" for more info.

Add this banner to your sidebar! Attention blog and website owners - you can help defeat John Kerry by adding this banner to your website! Just cut and paste the HTML code below. <a href="http://www.dummocrats.com/archives/000276.php"><img border="0" src="http://www.dummocrats.com/images/x/2004/wastea.gif" ></a>

Cartoon found via gop.com

From an article entitled: "Gay pride event has color and politics":

"'We're where black rights were in the '60s,' [Julie Kaufman of Marshall, WI] said."

Really? So gays have, historically, been been kidnapped from a foreign land, herded onto ships like cattle, imprisoned on wooden slats stacked 3 feet on top of one another and on which they could barely move, transported across the Atlantic Ocean in a journey that took months, where they arrived in the US diseased and malnourished, only to be sold into slavery, to be beaten by their "masters," raped by their "owners," selectively mated by their "keepers," only to have their children seized and sold at auction, never to see them again, forced to continue in this living hell for generations and generations, with no opportunities, until the Constitution was penned, the founding document of this very nation, only to identify them as 3/5 of a person, as less than a person, for four score until the Civil War was fought, so they could be "free" to live in abject poverty, to live under Jim Crow, to get beaten for voting, to get beaten for anything, to get lynched for voting, to get lynched for breathing, to live in segregated society, where they weren't welcome in restaurants, weren't welcome on busses, weren't welcome to drink out of the same goddamned water fountain as the rest of "society," for year after year after year, to have no opportunities, to be treated as less than human, less than a person, on the level of an animal, until a scant 60 years ago?

No, Julie Kaufman.
You're not even close.

Two months ago, Mr. Hat reported that singer Linda Ronstadt had at last broken her silence on the presidential election.

While many in this great nation rejoiced, apparently Linda has taken it a step too far.

Before singing "Desperado" for an encore Saturday night, the 58-year-old rocker called Moore a "great American patriot" and "someone who is spreading the truth." She also encouraged everybody to see the documentary about President Bush.

I'm sure folks like Elton John will point to this as more crushing of dissent. I, however, choose to view it as an affirmation that the American people are not all hoity-toity easty-coasty elites.

Thank god!

From today's issue of The Federalist:

RE: THE LEFT

"All of the early coverage in the mainstream media of the Democrats' celebrity-laden fund raiser in New York the other night was about the enormous amount of money it generated -- some $7.5 million. Many of the participants, if I am not mistaken, had promised to leave the United States if George W. Bush won, but they're still here. The unfairness of it all. Lost in the early coverage was

(a) the top ticket price was $25,000; a little steep for many of the "little people" with whom Senator John Edwards claims such solidarity, and;

(b) the outright ugliness of the comments of those who chose to participate -- especially Whoopi Goldberg.

Goldberg's comments were so off-color and distasteful that they have become a campaign issue: The Democrats are refusing to release the tape of the performance because they realize that allowing the voting public to actually see it -- and, potentially much more damaging -- the crowd's positive reaction to it, would be extremely powerful in demonstrating the kind of language about the President the Democrats will not only tolerate, but will encourage."

--Rich Galen

In the spirit of friendly cooperation, we'd like to offer the Kerry/Edwards campaign these campaign poster options, in addition to the fine work done earlier by Allahpundit.

First, how about a couple celebrating great moments in American relations with our peaceful Arab "friends"?

Next up is a tribute to the fine economic policies of the Carter administration:

And, of course we can't forget Vietnam. And America shouldn't either. Vietnam, and by extension the 1960s, should always be front and center in our thoughts.

And lastly, a perfect visualization of the Kerry/Edwards vision of what America should be, again: