One of the "joys" of living in a battleground state is a constantly ringing phone. Of course, there's never anyone on the other end. Instead you get all kinds of celebrity voicemail for one candidate or the other. I ususally delete the Dem messages immediately, but I sometimes actually listen to the Republican ones. In the last day Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tommy Thompson and Bart Starr have called me.

I feel so popular, but I'm still waiting by the phone for a call from any of the following:

• Ben Stein
• Curt Schilling
• Elisabeth Hasselbeck
• Scott Klug
• Laura Bush
• Will Farrish
• Rudy Guliani

Call me!

Election Eve Update: I came home tonight and had voicemail from Bill Clinton, Caroline Kennedy and George W. Bush himself. The funny thing is that I had no idea who Caroline Kennedy was at first. Tell me why I should care what she thinks?

Despite the fact that I'm between 5 and 15 years younger than the rest of my siblings, we do share some of the same traits: we love Todd Rundgren, we play sheepshead and we all plan for the worst case scenario. Some kids are scared of things that go bump in the night. Other kids plan out elaborate ways to kill the thing that goes bump in the night. We are those kids.

In that spirit, even though I think President Bush will be reelected Tuesday, I still have to think about how I'd deal with a Kerry victory.

First, I can't be around any Kerry supporters. You know how you feel when your team loses and you see some guy in the bar wearing the opponent's jersey? Well, this is just like that, only worse. And, being something of a hothead, I'm afraid of saying or doing things I'll regret. To that end, I'm also taking off work on Wednesday, just to be on the safe side.

But that just covers the immediate aftermath, what happens in the long term? I think the first thing conservatives have to do is reassure themselves that Kerry won't have a Congressional majority to push through any of his initiatives (yeah, I know he doesn't really have any initiatives, but work with me). A President Kerry probably would get to name 2 or 3 Supreme Court Justices, but a) they'd have to be confirmed by a Senate with a Republican majority and b) you don't always know what you're going to get when someone's appointed to the Court. There's no guarantee that a liberal President will beget a liberal Justice. I think President Kerry would be ineffective to harmless on domestic issues, but not for lack of trying. In other words, the world won't come to an end.

I'm sure Kerry will pull out of Iraq shortly after his inauguration, and so, for regular Iraqis, the world may very well seem like it's coming to an end. Kerry will pay lip service to the War on Terror, but won't actually fight it, unless we are attacked again. I don't trust Kerry to do anything (other than rolling over and begging) to prevent more terrorist attacks. However, Bush may have simply succeeded in killing so many terrorists and so disrupted their networks that the Islamofascists are simply incapable of staging a big attack, for now. Kerry, like Neville Chamberlain before him, may very well provide peace for our time. But our time is short and that will be little comfort to those killed in the terror attacks of '06 or '08 or whenever.

(I'm sure some people will point out that a Kerry victory would probably deny Hillary Clinton the White House and they'll say that's a positive. I'm not so sure. Hillary would face the same obstacles to her left wing agenda. But actually, I would be far more comfortable with her fighting the War on Terror. I can see her relishing the opportunity to be a woman warrior and wanting to fight on as a way to create the kind of legacy her husband never did.)

If Kerry wins, the most important things we can do are to immediately start working for House and Senate candidates for the '06 elections. Conservatives will have to make sure Kerry doesn't get that crucial Congressional majority. As for the War on Terror, we'll have to do the things we already do at home. Be aware. Be vigilant. Terrorists live in our midst, but they don't blend in, at least not yet. The 9/11 terrorists could have been caught dozens of times before it was too late just because their actions were so suspicious. We have to remember that terrorists are evil, not smart.

If Kerry wins, all the bloggers out there will still have to act as a check on the mainstream media. The media won't suddenly settle down and become objective just because they succeeded in kicking Bush out of office.

Finally, if Kerry wins, we have to accept it. We might need to go through all of the stages of grief to get there, but we need to get there. I will show the grace that the Michael Moores of the world didn't. I'll work to defeat Kerry's agenda, but I'll accept him as my President. I don't want to be like those liberals that care more about their pet issues than what is ultimately best for their country.

Happy Halloween! I think most people above the age of 12 celebrated the holiday last night, so the most frightening thing on the horizon is the possibility of a John Kerry victory Tuesday. But, I don't think that'll happen. Below is my final Electoral College predictions. Throughout the summer and fall, I haven't made too many changes to this. For this final one, I predict Minnesota swings to the Dems, while Ohio, Wisconsin and Iowa go for Bush. The big change is Hawaii. I think that Cheney's visit this weekend will swing the state to Bush.

Hopefully the margin of victory will be big enough that we don't have to go through months of lawsuits and complaints and the Bush Administration can get back to the business of governing and Kerry can get back to skiing in Vail or Switzerland or wherever.

I'd love to hear other predictions. How about putting your final electoral college counts in the comments?

Update: I made a mistake on the map. I meant Arizona to be in the red. Therefore, my final electoral count is actually President Bush: 300 and Senator Kerry: 238.

My beloved (and undefeated) Badgers have a bye this week, so instead of picking college football games, today I'm turning my attention to my other favorite sport: horse racing. Horse racing's championship day, the Breeders Cup is tomorrow at Lone Star Park in Texas. Eight races, worth from $1 million to $4 million each, will decide the champions in each division. My picks are below, but first a note of caution: I'm either very hot or very cold, so if my first couple of picks are way off, I won't have a single winner all day. Also, I'm not just picking winners, I'd like to pick winners with a price, if at all possible.

Distaff: I think this is a race between Storm Flag Flying from the east and Island Fashion from the west. Island Fashion likes to stalk the pace while Storm Flag Flying comes from way out of it. I don't think there's enough pace in the race for SFF, and Island Fashion's figures from earlier in the year are second to none. I think, after her summer layoff, she's ready to run back to those numbers and so my pick is Island Fashion.

The result: Ashado, who I completely overlooked runs a good race to win. Storm Flag Flying probably should have won, but she didn't get running room until too late. Still, she closed well to be second. Island Fashion got a terrible ride that cost her all chance. Since when is it a good idea to hang a horse 5 wide on BOTH turns? Idiot.

Juvenile Fillies: This is a tough race as a bunch of fillies are competitive. Sweet Catomine has been visually impressive, but her numbers aren't significantly better. I liked Balletto since her second place in the Ruffian to Sense of Style. Plus, she'll be a better price than Sweet Catomine. That does it. My pick is Balletto.

The result: I had the exacta, but reversed it in these picks. Balletto still looks like she doesn't quite know what she's doing yet. Sweet Catomine, on the other hand, was spectacular. She's huge and fast. She ran this race much faster than the colts ran later in the program. Wow. I was very impressed with her.

Mile: This is the race I'm most excited about. I really, really like Artie Schiller. I think he has that explosive burst of speed that is the hallmark of a successful miler. I think he wins this at around 8-1. The pick: Artie Schiller.

The result: Singletary, who I didn't even consider won. Artie Schiller didn't run a lick. This was a big surprise to me.

Sprint: Normally the sprint is one of my stronger races. Speightstown will probably be the favorite, but he usually runs best on the lead, and in this field, I don't think he can get it. His first quarter mile splits just aren't fast enough. Kela will need racing luck to needle his way through the field. He has the best figures, but I think I'm going for Champali. He consistently runs triple digit speed figures and I think his stalking style is ideally situated for this race. He can sit just off the speed and won't have to wory about traffic when he makes his run. The pick: Champali.

The result: Speightstown didn't get the lead, but it turns out he didn't need it. He got the trip I thought Champali would, sitting just off the pace and taking the lead near the top of the lane. He won quite easily.

Filly & Mare Turf: I like Wonder Again and she wins when you don't expect her too (and you get a nice payout). But, I saw Ouija Board's Prix de l'Arc de Triomphe and her third place against colts was spectacular. I think she's the class of this field and could win quite easily. The pick: Ouija Board.

The result: Finally, a winner. Of course, I can't brag much because Ouija Board was odds on. She was much the class of the field. Wonder Again also ran a nice race and just missed second by a head.

Juvenile: My head says that Sun King, a sun of 1999 Kentucky Derby/Preakness winner Charismatic is the horse of the future. But my heart belongs to the beautiful son of 2000 Derby winner Fusaichi Pegasus Roman Ruler. Roman Ruler's first three races were amazing, but his last race was kind of lackluster, even though he won easily. I'm going to take a risk and say that he bounces back from that and wins here in a very fast time and makes himself a hot Kentucky Derby prospect for next year. The pick: Roman Ruler.

The result: Roman Ruler was a huge disappointment. He didn't get the best of rides and was trapped behind a wall of horses, but still, I thought he would be good enough to overcome it. In a shocking upset, Wilko beats all the big names and wins going away.

Turf: Kitten's Joy is the best American turf horse since the great Manila. I think if he wins this race he deserves to be both champion 3-year old and horse of the year rather than the retired Smarty Jones. I also think that he'll win this race easily as the shortest priced favorite of the day. The pick: Kitten's Joy.

The result: Well, Better Talk Now "won" the race, but the stewards should have disqualified him for bumping both Magistretti and Kitten's Joy in the stretch. Kitten's Joy got screwed. He ran a spectacular race and was clearly the best. He's a force to be reckoned with.

Classic: I think that last year's winner Pleasantly Perfect is the horse to beat in the $4 million Classic. However, I just can't see him winning two years in a row. So, who can beat him? I think Belmont Stakes winner Birdstone is just too slow. The likely favorite Ghostzapper isn't a true 1 1/4 horse and that some of the others just aren't good enough. That leaves me with Dynever. I've thought this horse was destined for great things for well over a year now. I think tomorrow he finally proves me right. The pick: Dynever.

The result: Wow! I was sooo wrong. I thought Ghostzapper was nothing but a glorified sprinter. He ran fast early and fast late in this race, so the closers had no chance. This horse is a true superstar.

So, those are my official picks. Watch the Breeders Cup and then come back here and mock me for how little I know. Or, come back and thank me for the great tips!

Ann Althouse said, while guestblogging at Instapundit:

ABOUT THAT TAPE. I've got to disagree with my co-guestbloggers. Megan and Michael have both said ABC ought to run the tape it has of a hooded man mouthing al Qaeda commonplaces like "it's your turn to die" and "the streets will run with blood." That tape is a big nothing. Why should the newsmedia run al Qaeda's lame advertisements?

I think this is exactly right - - terrorists kidnap people because it gets them on TV. They do horrible things like behead people because it gets them attention. The way to stop them is to stop giving them attention. We need to take away their platform - - as soon as kidnapping an torturing westerners stops getting them on the nightly news, they'll stop.

What do you think about the above poster? The University of New Hampshire doesn't think much of it - in fact, they've kicked a student out of the dorms for posting it:

DURHAM, N.H., October 28, 2004—The University of New Hampshire has evicted a student from housing for posting fliers in his residential hall joking that freshman women could lose the “Freshman 15” by walking up the dormitory stairs. The public university found him guilty of violating policies on affirmative action, harassment, and disorderly conduct, and has sentenced him to mandatory counseling and probation along with his eviction.

All I can do is shake my head. No, wait, I can do more.

As much as I'd just love to head down to Madison's Capitol Square today to see Bruce Springsteen, John Kerry and the Foo Fighters (okay, actually, I would kind of like to see the Foo Fighters), I have more important work to do. My company's Halloween contest is tomorrow, and I'll be busy helping to transform our office into Ancient Greece. I'm portraying Charon, the ferryman of the dead in the Hades area. Sweet!

But don't despair, University of Wisconsin law professor Ann Althouse promises to provide some coverage of the rally on her blog. Ann is also guest blogging this week on Instapundit.

Back in 1992, Bill Clinton came to the Square on a beautiful early October day. I went, shook his hand (JUST his hand, get your mind out of the gutter people!), listened to the speeches and even (gasp!) voted for him. I was so young and stupid then.

The Wisconsin State Journal reports that Madison election officials have decided to keep the Ciy Clerk's office open late Thursday night after a Downtown rally for Democratic presidential candidate Sen. John Kerry (the rally will also feature Bruce Springsteen) to accomodate early voters.

The Madison City Clerk's office is approximately one block away from where this Kerry rally will be. State GOP communications director Chris Lato has it right when he says:

the city is spending taxpayer money to accommodate the Democrats. "I think it's pretty clearly a form of contribution to the John Kerry campaign. They are . . . incurring goodness knows how much in additional costs solely to accommodate attendees at a John Kerry political rally. Any taxpayer ought to be outraged."

It's not surprising though, as Madison Mayor Dave Cieslewicz publicly supports Kerry. State Republicans are correct when they call the extra 3 hours the city office will be open a blatant political campaign contribution. The city of Madison won't pay to pick up leaves on a preset schedule, but they'll sure as hell pay people overtime to help get Kerry elected.

About a month ago, The Crease picked up a story about a new pedestrian safety project in DC, namely, the use of bright orange pedestrian flags at DC intersections:

WASHINGTON -- D.C. transportation officials are posting bright orange flags at intersections without traffic lights in hopes of saving lives.

They say pedestrians who grab the flags have an easier time getting drivers to see them and stop for them. Some pedestrians walk by without noticing the flags are there to use. Those who do grab the flags say they see a difference.

I've just had the opportunity to see one off these flags in use, and I too notice a difference - but the difference that I witnessed was not one of increased pedestrian safety, instead it was one of increased pedestrian carelessness and recklessness.

I saw a woman grab one of these pedestrian "safety" flags at an uncontrolled intersection along NW DC's Connecticut Avenue at about 6pm. For those unfamiliar with DC traffic patterns, Connecticut Avenue is one of the busiest streets in the entire District, especially around 6pm - it's 6 lanes of traffic, and is so heavily travelled that during peak times each day, one of the lanes "reverses direction" such that a full four lanes runs either into or out of the city. Like I said, it's a really busy street. Well, this woman proceeds to grab an orange flag, tuck it UNDER her arm, then carelessly amble out into the road to cross the street, pushing a BABY IN A STROLLER in front of her. She made no attempt to wait for traffic to clear, and didn't even LOOK to see if any traffic was coming. She just pushed her baby right into the middle of one of the busiest streets in all of Washington at one of the busiest times in all of Washington, without bothering to exercise any sort of care or caution whatsoever. Because this woman had a big orange flag tucked away under her arm, she thought she would be safe. She mistakenly thought that her orange flag was the equivalent of an Abrams tank.

Thank the Lord, both woman and baby were able to get across the street unharmed, though many cars were forced to screech to a halt as the intersection erupted with the shrill of countless drivers laying on their horns. The woman just clueless and carelessly careened across Connecticut, with something of an annoyed gesture on her face as she stared at the cars honking at her, as if to say "Hey, buddy, I have a flag!"

Whether the pedestrian flag idea will prove to be success or not, I can't say. But for at least this woman, the flag was just another way for her to recklessly throw personal responsibility out the window and foolishly trust that governent flag program would magically keep her and her child safe.

I feel really sorry for that kid.

With the election just a week away, the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy (VRWC) is holding its collective breath, hoping that none of the following scandals break in the mainstream media (but if they do, remember, you heard them here first!).

10. Laura Bush plagarized her winning cookie entry in Family Circle's First Lady bakeoff.

9. Hikers in Wisconsin's North Woods uncover Bush's secret liberal internment camps, euphemistically named the "Facilities for the Advocation of Very Republican Electors", or FAVRE.

8. Condeleeza Rice photographs in compromising positions with Gary Hart on the yacht "Monkey Business" are released.

7. Instead of Osama bin Laden, it's revealed the administration has actually had Paul Wellstone in a Tora Bora cave since late 2002.

6. In 1971, President Bush, then a member of the Texas Air National Guard, flew to Paris to meet with Viet Cong and North Vietnamese representatives—while the war was still going on—then came back and demanded that the United States immediately accept North Vietnam’s terms.

5. Because of his failure to secure a landslide victory, Bush ordered Karl Rove to committ suicide in a most grizzly and ironic way: being run over by Air Force One.

4. The Bush campaign could be rocked by the revelation that Dick Cheney is a lesbian trapped in a man's body.

3. The ultimate in hypocrisy: even First Daughter Jenna Bush would rather use cheap Canadian drugs. In her case it's something called"Labatt".

2. CBS unearths medical documents that seem to prove that Bush actually is Hitler. Dan Rather stakes his professional reputation on the authencity of the documents, which were provided by a non-partisan billionaire named George Soros.

And the top October Surprise that could derail President Bush's reelection bid:

1. A scandalous affair with a White House intern is exposed. The intern in question?

"Famed" e-mail breaker-upper Paul Kelly Tripplehorn, Jr.

Apparently, Elizabeth Edwards has guaranteed there will be no election night riots, as long as Kerry/Edwards wins. Um, thanks for the reassurance, I guess. However, I tend to agree with the sentiments of "Republican Trooper" in the comments section of the Blogs for Bush post on the subject:

I think people will riot whether Kerry wins or loses. People like a good riot.

Exactly. Some people just want to riot about something. Right now, my hometown of Madison is gearing up for our own annual Halloween riots (this year brought to you by Sports Illustrated!). For weeks now, the papers have been filled with talk about riots. Past riots, who's to blame for rioting and what the cops will try to do to stop rioting this year. It's all "riots, riots, riots". With everyone in the mindset of rioting, all it will take for an actual riot to happen is a single spark (for example, a past riot happened because some young ladies stopped exposing themselves from windows overlooking State Street, thereby upsetting the crowds below).

I think the more people talk about rioting over the election result, the more likely it is to happen. It's almost like it's now an acceptable response to defeat. In the past, if your side lost, you gracefully accepted it and moved on. Now, you get a team of lawyers to fight it and in the meantime your supporters run amuck. It's already happening, with all the reports of vandalism, theft and even bullets fired against the political opposition. Civility is gone.

The irony is that I always associated riots with sports victories: you win the Super Bowl, you riot. Now, it's the losers who will riot. They'll cry about the other side cheating in order to justify their own violent behavior. The best thing that could happen is for this election to be a landslide. Wait, check that. The best thing that could happen is for this election to be a Bush landslide!

The AP reports that Clinton has recovered from his heart operation and is (back?) on the campaign trail for John F'in Kerry. I understand that Bill Clinton is wildly popular in some circles, though I can't help but wonder if Clinton's campaign appearances hurt Kerry's chances more than they help them. After all, Clinton didn't exactly help Al Gore in his failed bid to win the presidency. To be fair, Gore did try to "distance" himself from Clinton in 2000, and it's hard to say now what effect that had.

I do find it interesting that Clinton is scheduled to appear in Miami, FL later this week - - after all, Clinton isn't exactly wildly popular is southern Florida after that whole Elian Gonzales fiasco.

I'm guessing that Bill Clinton is being called in to motivate the 18-25 year old ambivolent single women to get out to the polls - despite his many scandals, I think that young voters, new to the harsh realities of the world, might associate him with their relatively carefree adolescent years.

After his impeachment and scandal laden last few years, I would just think that the downside risk of letting him speak outweighs the potential upside, especially in Miami, FL. Then again, I'm not a crack Democratic strategist, so what do I know.

The big Kerry story is up at the Washington Times website. Basically, Kerry lied when he claimed he met with all members of the UN Security Council before the Oct. 2002 vote to authorize the use of force in Iraq.

The author, Joel Mowbray, will be guestblogging on the story at RedState.

Well, at first glance I'm disappointed. So, Kerry exaggerated his meetings or didn't have them at all. This isn't shocking news. Kerry's whole campaign is built on exaggerations (his war record, Christmas in Cambodia, his crazy stories about competing in the Boston Marathon). My prediction is that this is completely ignored by the MSM. Even though Kerry is a terrible candidate and would be a terrible President, he's still the best candidate the "anyone but Bush" crowd has and they won't abandon him now for this.

Update: I'm not alone in feeling underwhelmed by this.

Undeniable Sign of Media Bias of the Week: The Washington Post once again revealed their liberal mindset in an article about how candidate's families have generally been off limits to the opponent. In the article they site a Barbara Bush comment about Geraldine Ferraro as an exception to the rule. Huh? Geraldine Ferraro wasn't a candidate's wife, she was the candidate. So, either the Post just wanted to make Bar look bad or they revealed how they really feel about female candidates - they will always be only a woman to them. The post, like many liberals and their institutions, talk a lot about equality, but when push comes to shove, they can't seem to really treat women and minorities as equals.

Post of the Week: I really liked John Kerry, Cong Hunter? from Captain's Quarters, but my absolute favorite post this week was "What the President Really Wanted to Say That Night in Florida" from Pardon My English. My favorite part:

Senator Kerry, do you know what I spent my day doing? While you were getting your hair and your nails done? Do you know what I’ve been doing and thinking about while you were covering up your weird orange skin so you didn’t scare the viewers? Do you?

I was all over this state, looking at the unbelievable damage those hurricanes have done to our people and property. I saw people whose houses are destroyed, people who haven’t had electricity in weeks. I saw those kids your witch of a wife thinks should be going naked through the streets of Florida–I still don’t know why she said that or what she meant.

Anyway, I, uh, oh, yeah–I looked at all this devastation, all this destruction, and I came back to the hotel room with my brother, Jeb, and I looked him in the eye. “Jeb,” I said, “I’m the President of the United States, and I can’t even make sure that those people have something to eat tonight. Do you realize that? It kills me to have to leave here and go play footsie with that met-er-o-sexual hack tonight. I just want to smack him around. It’s times like these I almost wish I could have a drink, but I know that wouldn’t even help.”

Asshat of the Week: This was a hotly contested category this week. We had the two morons who pelted Ann Coulter with pies, the Boston police who killed a college girl out celebrating the Red Sox win and the writer for the Guardian who wished for another John Wilkes Booth to assassinate President Bush. But, the winner is an unamed UW-Milwaukee graduate student who spit on Congressional candidate/Iraq veteran Jerry Boyle at a debate Thursday. From an eyewitness:

As Boyle was walking from the stage to the reception, a graduate student from UWM spit on Boyle as he passed by.

Boyle, restraining himself, went to the restroom to clean up let this incident go.

I, however, did not.

After seeing Jerry wipe the spit from his jacket, I asked him what was going on and asked the young man why he spit on him.

Although it was witnessed by several people (at least five) he denied it and approached me looking for a confrontation. He walked up to me and got right in my face.

I asked him why he spit on Jerry and he said he didn't but should have because Jerry didn't answer his question to his satisfaction.

He called me an imperialistic pig and said that I was a puppet for an imperialistic regime. I asked him if that was a new term he had just learned in school and that I was very proud of him for using it in a complete sentence.

To make a long story short, after a little more verbal back and forth, he was ushered away by his teacher and escorted from the building.

Mainstream Media Column of the Week: Mark Steyn's piece in the Chicago Sun Times today is another gem. I especially like his take on "prescription drugs from Canada":

I'm Canadian, so I know a thing or two about prescription drugs from Canada. Specifically speaking, I know they're American; the only thing Canadian about them is the label in French and English. How can politicians from both parties think that Americans can get cheaper drugs simply by outsourcing (as John Kerry would say) their distribution through a Canadian mailing address? U.S. pharmaceutical companies put up with Ottawa's price controls because it's a peripheral market. But, if you attempt to extend the price controls from the peripheral market of 30 million people to the primary market of 300 million people, all that's going to happen is that after approximately a week and a half there aren't going to be any drugs in Canada, cheap or otherwise -- just as the Clinton administration's intervention into the flu-shot market resulted in American companies getting out of the vaccine business entirely.

Amen.

Funniest Thing I Saw This Week: Tim Blair exposed the faces of forgiveness. His "photographic exploration of the pious and peaceful" is absolutely inspired. Compassionate head-tilts to all!

Last night I went to see the Old 97s (if you like a Texas mix of rock & country, then you've gotta check them out, they're wonderful). A duo called Sarah Lee and Johnny opened the show. Sarah Lee is, by the way, Sarah Lee Guthrie, daughter of Arlo, granddaughter of Woody. So anyway, they played a couple of songs and one of them had a 9/11 reference in it. It wasn't partisan in any way, it just mentioned it.

They finished, and while waiting for Rhett Miller and the boys to hit the stage, I eavesdropped on the people behind me. One man liked the opening act, but he was put off by the 9/11 reference. I heard him say, "I mean, come on, it's like 2004!".

Wow. I'm still just shocked by that attitude. The attacks on 9/11 were just three years ago. So many musicians, writers, film makers, journalists and yes, politicians, are still reliving the Vietnam War, and yet 9/11 is too far gone to care about?

I'm all too well aware that many of our friends on the left yearn to return to a September 10th world. I know there are people who'd like to pretend that 9/11 never happened. But this guy's attitude was new to me. Basically he's saying we should just get over 9/11. I mean, come on, it's been over three years! It was like he was talking to a buddy who was still hung up on an old girlfriend. "C'mon man, she wasn't even that hot and it was like years ago."

And yet, I bet if asked, this same guy would have expressed righteous indignation at Bush for "stealing" the 2000 election. But, I mean, come on, that's like four years ago!

The Guardian, the same UK paper that instructed its UK based readers to start calling or mailing Ohio voters and telling them to "vote against" President Bush, is now running a story calling for President Bush's assassination:

On November 2, the entire civilised world will be praying, praying Bush loses. And Sod's law dictates he'll probably win, thereby disproving the existence of God once and for all. The world will endure four more years of idiocy, arrogance and unwarranted bloodshed, with no benevolent deity to watch over and save us. John Wilkes Booth, Lee Harvey Oswald, John Hinckley Jr - where are you now that we need you?

This is so far over the line I don't even know where to start. I can only hope that the Guardian's offices get the same treatment as Al Jazeera's in last years "accidental" bombing.

Update: Since the Guardian pulled the piece, we've reprinted it below.

Charlie Brooker Saturday October 23, 2004 The Guardian

Heady times. The US election draws ever nearer, and while the rest of the world bangs its head against the floorboards screaming "Please God, not Bush!", the candidates clash head to head in a series of live televised debates. It's a bit like American Idol, but with terrifying global ramifications. You've got to laugh.

Or have you? Have you seen the debates? I urge you to do so. The exemplary BBC News website (www.bbc.co.uk/news) hosts unexpurgated streaming footage of all the recent debates, plus clips from previous encounters, through Reagan and Carter, all the way back to Nixon versus JFK.

Watching Bush v Kerry, two things immediately strike you. First, the opening explanation of the rules makes the whole thing feel like a Radio 4 parlour game. And second, George W Bush is... well, he's... Jesus, where do you start?

The internet's a-buzz with speculation that Bush has been wearing a wire, receiving help from some off-stage lackey. Screen grabs appearing to show a mysterious bulge in the centre of his back are being traded like Top Trumps. Prior to seeing the debate footage, I regarded this with healthy scepticism: the whole "wire" scandal was just wishful thinking on behalf of some amateur Michael Moores, I figured. And then I watched the footage.

Quite frankly, the man's either wired or mad. If it's the former, he should be flung out of office: tarred, feathered and kicked in the nuts. And if it's the latter, his behaviour goes beyond strange, and heads toward terrifying. He looks like he's listening to something we can't hear. He blinks, he mumbles, he lets a sentence trail off, starts a new one, then reverts back to whatever he was saying in the first place. Each time he recalls a statistic (either from memory or the voice in his head), he flashes us a dumb little smile, like a toddler proudly showing off its first bowel movement. Forgive me for employing the language of the playground, but the man's a tool.

So I sit there and I watch this and I start scratching my head, because I'm trying to work out why Bush is afforded any kind of credence or respect whatsoever in his native country. His performance is so transparently bizarre, so feeble and stumbling, it's a miracle he wasn't laughed off the stage. And then I start hunting around the internet, looking to see what the US media made of the whole "wire" debate. And they just let it die. They mentioned it in passing, called it a wacko conspiracy theory and moved on.
Yet whether it turns out to be true or not, right now it's certainly plausible - even if you discount the bulge photos and simply watch the president's ridiculous smirking face. Perhaps he isn't wired. Perhaps he's just gone gaga. If you don't ask the questions, you'll never know the truth.

The silence is all the more troubling since in the past the US news media has had no problem at all covering other wacko conspiracy theories, ones with far less evidence to support them. (For infuriating confirmation of this, watch the second part of the must-see documentary series The Power Of Nightmares (Wed, 9pm, BBC2) and witness the absurd hounding of Bill Clinton over the Whitewater and Vince Foster non-scandals.)

Throughout the debate, John Kerry, for his part, looks and sounds a bit like a haunted tree. But at least he's not a lying, sniggering, drink-driving, selfish, reckless, ignorant, dangerous, backward, drooling, twitching, blinking, mouse-faced little cheat. And besides, in a fight between a tree and a bush, I know who I'd favour.

On November 2, the entire civilised world will be praying, praying Bush loses. And Sod's law dictates he'll probably win, thereby disproving the existence of God once and for all. The world will endure four more years of idiocy, arrogance and unwarranted bloodshed, with no benevolent deity to watch over and save us. John Wilkes Booth, Lee Harvey Oswald, John Hinckley Jr - where are you now that we need you?

When they pulled it, they explained that they understand that it "offended" some people and assured its readers that it was simply a joke.

The final sentence of a column in The Guide on Saturday caused offence to some readers. The Guardian associates itself with the following statement from the writer.

"Charlie Brooker apologises for any offence caused by his comments relating to President Bush in his TV column, Screen Burn. The views expressed in this column are not those of the Guardian. Although flippant and tasteless, his closing comments were intended as an ironic joke, not as a call to action - an intention he believed regular readers of his humorous column would understand. He deplores violence of any kind."

What do you think? Does that sound like a funny joke to you?

Powerline reports:

that a major newspaper will break a front-page story Monday morning that could create a serious problem for the Kerry campaign. We don't yet have any details, but it relates to a foreign policy issue, and it will call into question--amazingly enough--John Kerry's truthfulness.

I think, first all, that we can assume the major newspaper in question is either the Washington Times or the NY Post. And, we can therefore assume that whatever story they break will not make the MSM until at least Nov. 3.

But what could it be? Is it details on Kerry's meetings with the Viet Cong? Has Kerry tried cooking things up behind the scenes with Jacques Chirac? Hmm, maybe the story will expose some Kerry ties to the Saudi royal family (that would be especially exciting given how Bush's ties to the Saudis have become the issue in campaign ads here). Whatever it is, I can't wait. Powerline hopes for a scoop by tomorrow evening, so check it out and keep your fingers crossed that whatever the story is, that it's true and that it has legs.

Update: Find more info on this story at RedState.

I stole this pic (and the title for this post) right off of Boots and Sabers. Check them out, they're one of my favorite blogs.

Posting some sports predictions was so much fun (but not very accurate) last week, so I'm doing it again today. Also, be forewarned that next weekend is the Breeders Cup, so I will be posting my picks Thursday or Friday. For this weekend, however, the focus is still college football.

Seven undefeated teams are left. Who will lose...tomorrow!

Washington at #1 USC: I'm just not that impressed with USC, but they keep winning, so clearly I know nothing. I think USC will get tagged for a loss somewhere down the line, but not by Washington. The pick: USC.

Kansas at #2 Oklahoma: I'd actually give the old 70s band "Kansas" a better chance of beating Oklahoma than this team. The pick: Oklahoma.

Kentucky at #3 Auburn: I like Auburn a lot. They showed a lot of heart to finish up the way they did last year. But, I think their schedule makes them one of the more unlikely teams to finish undefeated. Still, I don't think they lose to Kentucky at home. The pick: Auburn.

#4 Miami at NC State: Miami showed a lot of determination in beating Louisville last week. And, they've had a long week to recover from that game. However, I think they will be emotionally drained and not quite ready for another battle. The are ripe for an upset. The pick: NC State.

Northwestern at #6 Wisconsin: This game scares me. We seem to always find a way to lose to Northwestern. In a way, I'm glad that Erasmus James is out this week. Without him, the team will have to focus more and won't look past Northwestern the way they otherwise would. The weather for tomorrow is "iffy" and I could just see us having one of those 8 turnover games to ruin the season. But, these Badgers are getting the breaks this year (and they're making their own breaks). It's time to have some faith. The pick: Wisconsin.

UNLV at #9 Utah: I can't tell you how much I want UNLV to win this game. It'd be hilarious for a team that Wisconsin beat to ruin Utah's perfect season. Unfortunately, as you grow older one of the lessons you learn is that things don't happen just because you want them to. The pick: Utah.

Fresno State at #19 Boise State: Boise State was life and death to beat Tulsa last week. Fresno State is much better than Tulsa. The pick: Fresno State.

Bonus Pick: #13 Michigan at #12 Purdue: Good lord, do I want Purdue to win this game. I doubt Wisconsin will go undefeated, so, we really need Michigan to get a loss in the Big Ten to strengthen our Rose Bowl hopes and dreams. This is probably the Wolverines' toughest test of the season. Unfortunately, I think Purdue is probably spent from the Wisconsin game. And, for all the hype, I have to say that, Kyle Orton is no Drew Brees. The pick: Michigan.

So there you have it. My fearless prediction is that after Saturday we'll be down to just five undefeated teams. And one of them will be from Wisconsin. Woohoo!

Wonder Boy is at it again - this time, John Edwards accuses Bush of neglecting his presidentin' duties by campaigning against him and Kerry:

MUSCATINE, Iowa - Democratic vice presidential candidate John Edwards accused the Bush administration on Thursday of ignoring problems ranging from scarce flu vaccine to the war in Iraq while officials campaign in battleground states and asked, "Who's minding the store?"

As commenter Brandon pointed out over at Daly Thoughts:

"I have just searched the Congressional Record. As near as I can determine, John Edwards’ most recent appearance on the floor of the U.S. Senate was March 11, 2004.

WHO’S MINDING THE STORE, SENATOR EDWARDS????"

Good question, Brandon.

The ultra liberal Washington Post offers a rare look into the way those on that side of the aisle really view things:

Wives and children are off-limits, especially to each other. Tipper and Hillary kept it together in public for all of those years, even through all the tensions. When Barbara Bush was asked what she thought of Geraldine Ferraro and said "it rhymes with witch," it was as if she'd peeled off her gloves on television and bared her unmanicured claws. (emphasis added)

So let me get this straight - "wives and children" are off-limits. Ok, makes sense so far. Hillary and Tipper "kept it together." Ok, both wives of candidates, so OK on that point. As far as whether these two "ladies" kept it together, well, that's an entirely different story. Now what's with this next line about a comment made by Barbara Bush about Geraldine Ferraro? First, Ferraro wasn't a candidate's wife, she was the VICE PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE. Is the Post intentionally misleading here in an attempt to make Barbara Bush look bad, as if she had personally attacked the wife of a candidate, or are they unintentionally showing their true colors - - revealing that, in their eyes, a woman VP will always be just that - only a woman?

The winner of our latest is Joe from Unabrewer. Joe's poetic entry, which you can see below, will earn him one of our sick "John Kerry is a Joke" T-shirts. Way to go Joe!

"Al Sharpton, who art in Harlem Hallowed be thy support Thy stumping come, thy votes be won In Birmingham, as they are in Harlem Give us this day our daily speech And forgive us our support of gay marriage As we forgive those who say we don't support it enough And lead us not into race-baiting, but deliver us our 90% For thine is the pulpit, the support, and the turnout forever. Amen."

Stay tuned for even more election fun and mayhem soon.

see Protest Warrior for more.

Dales' ECB is an invaluable resource, that's why we keep his map on our homepage. I still wish he used red for the Republicans and blue for the Dems like everybody else does, but I appreciate his individuality. On that map, I've watched Wisconsin go from medium red, to light red, to white, to light blue, back to white and now it's light red again. What all of that adds up to, is that Wisconsin is really a swing state.

Update: And now, just in the last day, Wisconsin is light blue again. We've got a swingin' party down the line.

But on some level I don't believe that. I look around me and see that at least 90% of the bumper stickers, signs and buttons support the Kerry/Edwards ticket. How can President Bush possibly win this state?

It could be that Madison, truly is "twenty-five square miles surrounded by reality." At least it is for 360 days this year. Those other six days are Badger football Saturdays. Suddenly a smug city of farmers market-goers turns into the rest of the state. They gleefully turn Steve Miller's "Swingtown" into a vulgar chant. Instead of chai, people chug beer or brandy old fashioneds (as an aside, isn't this an amazing statistic: 35% of Korbel's total national brandy production is sent to Wisconsin?). These are the independent-minded Wisconsinites the national pollsters talk about. These are the people who vote for mavericks like "Fighting Bob" LaFollette, Lee Dreyfus, Tommy Thompson & Russ Feingold. Suddenly ultra-liberal Madison is just like the rest of Wisconsin.

Football Saturdays are some of the few days that I feel like I belong in Madison. Don't get me wrong, I love so much about the place, but I feel more at home with the beer drinkers than with the chai drinkers. I'm a native Wisconsinite, which puts me at odds with Madison's political elites, many of whom hail from traditional liberal enclaves, came here for college, and never left. In short, I'm politically isolated, and, as a result, I'm sweating out these last 13 days before the election, utterly convinced that somehow Kerry's going to win.

The funny thing is that if I lived anywhere else in this state, I would get to see the President so many times that I would expect him to know me by name, if not by sight. And, I'd probably be thinking there's no way Kerry can win, everybody I see is for Bush. In the end, I think it's all for the best because I'd rather be pleasantly surprised than disappointed.

It's that time of year again. I can't pick up my phone without having the recorded voice of some celebrity or politician urging me to vote for the candidate of their choice. Of course, it's too late and I've voted for the candidates of my choice.

In most places, you can still vote early, and, if you're a Democrat you can even try to vote often. But no matter when you vote, remember that you're not just voting for yourself or for your family.

You're also voting for the men and women fighting in the War on Terror. You're voting for the Iraqis and Afghanis who are struggling to create free societies. You're voting for people everywhere who refuse to succumb to the darkness of Islamofascism. You're not, however, voting for the French. Well, that's assuming you're not voting for Kerry ;-)

I've made a lot of cracks lately about how sick I am of the election and how tired I am of politics in general. I may be suffering from campaign fatigue, but I haven't forgotten how important this election is. And, even if I did, I'd just have to look at any of the blogs below to be reminded of everything we're voting for.

found at fark.

hat tip Bohemian Conservative

By now, most of you have heard of "South Park Republicans", the

name stems from the primetime cartoon "South Park" that clearly demonstrates the contrast within the party. The show is widely condemned by some moralists, including members of the Christian right. Yet in spite of its coarse language and base humor, the show persuasively communicates the Republican position on many issues, including hate crime legislation ("a savage hypocrisy"), radical environmentalism, and rampant litigation by ambitious trial lawyers.

But, I think that Ace (and, by the way, if Ace did have a cable channel, I'd be subscribing right along with James) has stumbled on the South Parkers liberal equivalent, who I will dub the "Pretty in Pink Democrats". These Democrats are joined together, not through their passionate belief in any particular issue, but by their hatred of the rich and a love of their own precious "alternativeness". Says Ace:

People vote against whatever party seems more comfortable with the sort of people who gave them grief (real or imagined) as teenagers. For every Blaine from Pretty in Pink that exists in the real world, there are now a dozen committed liberals. Thanks a lot for that, Blaine. Maybe if you hadn't been such a prick to Ducky we wouldn't have had to suffer through two terms of Clinton.

I know more than a few Pretty in Pink Democrats. All they ever learned about conservatives, they learned from John Hughes movies in the 1980s. The affluent are "rich assholes". And, unlike their South Park brethren, Pretty in Pinkers don't think of conservatives as advocates of smaller government and personal liberty, but rather as enforcers of conformity and censorship. To them, conservatives are the Blaines, the Neidermeyers and the cruel fathers in every teen movie from Footloose to Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Pretty in Pink Democrats will vote for Kerry (if they bother to vote at all), not because he represents their deeply held political beliefs, but rather because being a liberal is just another part of their urban culture, like buying organic food, listening to jam bands or bitching about the number of Starbucks in the neighborhood.

I wasn't planning on having a new just yet, but I found this picture of John Kerry yesterday and I couldn't help myself. The winner this time will get one of our "John Kerry is a Joke" t-shirts. Wear it, work hard, be happy and a annoy a liberal ;-)

"I can't believe I scored a role in Sister Act III. Thanks Whoopi!"

Submit entries to the comment section by the end of the day on Wednesday we'll pick a winner and will announce him or her here. If the winner has provided contact info, we'll contact the winner via email, get their size info and mailing address and send their prize on its way. So, make sure you provide your email in the comments or send it directly to james or me (it's "james at dummocrats.com" or "kris at dummocrats.com").

It's time for the second edition of this new feature. If you have any ideas for new categories or posts and stories we may have missed, please let us know. We expect this to be an evolving feature and we'll certainly appreciate your help.

Undeniable Sign of Media Bias of the Week: I'm reaching outside the realm of politics for this one. There are five undefeated college football teams from major conferences. You'd assume that these teams are ranked 1-5 in today's polls, right? Well, you'd be wrong. Wisconsin is on the outside looking in. I'm not saying Wisconsin should be #1 or #2, or even #3. But, we certainly should be ranked ahead of the one loss teams. If you took the Wisconsin team and renamed it "Michigan" we'd be no worse than #3. What's maddening about college football is that without a playoff system, reputation really does matter. Even if Wisconsin manages to go undefeated this year, they still might not be able to overcome the media bias against them because they weren't "supposed" to be good.

Post of the Week: Froggy Ruminations wins this week with " Usama bin Laden is Dead". Of course he is. Froggy says:

Maybe you're wondering how I know he's dead. Perhaps one of my SEAL buddies let me in on the secret? NO. I know because a publicity whore and grandstanding scumbag like UBL could not possibly resist the multitude of opportunites to inspire his cult members. His number 1, Zwahiri, has appeared on video or audio broadcasts every few months since 9/11. UBL has not been heard from since Tora Bora despite developments in the GWOT in Afghanistan and Iraq that make it unthinkable for him to have remained silent. Not to mention successful attacks in Bali, Madrid, Turkey, and Jakarta to name a few that remain unremarked upon by UBL. The invasion and occupation of an Islamic state by the US and not a word. Elections held for the first time in Afghan history, and he had nothing to say about it in the lead up.

Asshat of the Week: Fear-mongering Congressman Mark Dayton displayed the courage and intestinal fortitude we've come to expect from certain 'Sotans this week when he closed his Capitol Hill office because of terrorism threats. Nevermind that none of his colleagues felt the need to do the same. NY Representative Peter King tells it like it is:

"Why he's decided to do this -- either he's overreacting, whether he's showboating or what, I really don't know -- but he's sending a terrible signal to the country that's really an abdication of responsibility and leadership."

Heroes of the Week: My heroes this week (besides Barry Alvarez and the rest of the Badgers) are these guys near Seattle who were sick and tired of their Bush/Cheney signs being stolen by looney liberals. They took matters into their own hands, bought more signs and staked out their property with predictable results:

It only took three hours. At about 10 p.m. Tuesday, a 25-year-old Mercer Island man walked to a grassy area along the 6700 block of Island Crest Way and began to pull up Bush signs installed by the two men, police said.

The amateur detectives burst out of the woods and confronted the man, who was apologetic. The men detained him until police arrived.

The man was arrested and released on suspicion of third-degree theft, a misdemeanor, said Mercer Island police Sgt. Lance Davenport.

Awesome. I wish I would have thought of that.

Mainstream Media Column of the Week: Zell Miller imagined today's media covering Iwo Jima in the Washington Times. This is my favorite part:

"The recently organized Senate Squeakers Group may ask for the president to resign. They maintain that politics should not stop at the waters edge in times of war, calling that tradition an old-fashioned idea that has no place in the new century of dysfunctional government. Over forty special interest groups concurred and all issued identical news releases."

"We now turn to our political analyst, James Crankville."

(James):"Cutie,the overnight poll numbers have hit this president right between the eyes. Nationwide, an overwhelming 98 percent said that if possible, they would like to see this country fight a war without a single American casualty. That is nearly the same percentage we saw three days ago when the American public said they would be in favor of going to war if we could win without firing a shot. So, you can see there is a trend developing here that spells trouble for this administration."

Website of the Week: This doubles as the funniest thing I saw all week . The Club for Growth has produced a draft of an anti-John Kerry ad that you all need to go watch right now. It's just brilliant stuff. Powerline has a little background on the ad, which was apparently directed by Jerry Zucker of Naked Gun fame.

I was out yesterday before the glorious Badger football victory with some liberal friends. At the beginning of the day, I told them I wanted to be in a political free zone. I needed a little break from politics. So, I resisted the urge to get a Bush/Cheney sticker at the Farmer's Market (although all my friends did get Kerry/Edwards ones for themselves).

But, as often happens, a wholesome sounding trip to the Farmer's Market ends up being nothing more than a walk around Madison's Capitol Square, followed immediately by a trip to the nearest bar. After a couple of Guinness, even the best intentions go out the window.

My friend Steve is, as I like to call him, a "raging liberal". But, he also enjoys a good debate, and even though he doesn't agree with me, he's not disrespecful. Arguing with him is good, clean fun. Steve and I went back and forth. He towed the Democratic Party line with talk of Bush's "tax cuts for the rich". Finally, I just asked him, "Why should the rich have to pay more? Why shouldn't everyone, above a minimum income, pay the same percentage of taxes?"

He looked at me like I was crazy. "Why shouldn't they? Of course they should pay more. How many houses do they need?". I was astounded by that response, but I probably shouldn't have been.

It gets to the heart of liberal Democrats everywhere. They don't care about the poor. They just hate the rich. They think the rich are a bunch of Hummer-driving ogres. The other funny thing is that they in no way equate being rich with being successful. I think they assume all rich people (and, we're talking rich as those making above the "magical" $200,000 mark) either inherited money or got rich by "exploiting the workers". Therefore, they have no right to enjoy their income as they see fit.

Liberals are a funny lot. They are all for "choice" as long as you're talking about abortion. But, if you're talking about having a choice of school to send your child to, or how to spend your own money, then we certainly have no "right to choose". Government knows best.

How many American liberals realize that they are actually hardcore socialists?

This is so awesome I could just cry.

Football Fans for truth is putting up billboards in my beloved Wisconsin. Funny, isn't it, that these guys know more about how to speak to the Wisconsin voter than John Kerry's multi-million dollar campaign staff of "professionals?"

Thanks to Ace for the pointer. (If Ace started a cable news channel, i.e. A.C.E., I'd be all over it. )

My friend Michelle ran into Wisconsin Badgers football coach Barry Alvarez last night. The undefeated Badgers play #5, undefeated Purdue tomorrow. It'll be a battle between Purdue's 3rd ranked offense and the top ranked defense in the nation.

Michelle wished Coach Alvarez good luck and the Coach asked her to pray for the Badgers. I'm not a particularly religious person, but if Barry thinks prayer will make a difference, I'm willing to find the Lord.

One of the best things about this college football season is that it's a wonderful distraction from the political campaigns. I'm very interested in politics. I write for this blog. I was a political science major. I've already voted! And, even I'm sick of the campaign. I can't imagine how people that don't care feel.

So, today I'm taking a mini break from writing about the campaign and instead posting about some of the other things I care about. In that spirit, here are my picks for some of tomorrow's top games (keep in mind that I'm no Hank Goldberg, as you shall see even more clearly when the Breeders Cup comes around).

Missouri at Texas: Last week was the first time I've watched Longhorn football. I was completely unimpressed. I think they are a very poorly coached team. In their loss to Oklahoma, they committed way too many costly personal fouls. Not only that, they just gave up during Oklahoma's final drive. I don't think it's a question of their talent, it's a question of their heart and discipline. And that is a direct reflection of their coaching. I'll take Missouri in an upset.

Arizona State at USC: USC didn't look like a world beater against California to me. I think they too are ripe for an upset. The pick is Arizona State.

Virginia at Florida State: Honestly, I don't know jack about either of these teams. My pick is Florida State and here's why. 1) They won't lose at home. 2) If they win, they'll knock Virginia from the ranks of the undefeated. Then, Virginia will later do the same to Miami. These undefeated teams have got to lose sometime, why not now?

Michigan at Illinois: Illinois isn't nearly as bad as their record. They'll put the fear of God in Michigan before losing by a mere 3 points.

Wisconsin at Purdue: Are you kidding me? Of course I'm picking the Badgers. Orton will be effective between the 20s, but that's it. The defense will tighten up in the red zone. Purdue will clog the line and try to stop Anthony Davis, but unfortunately for them, John Stocco is getting better and better and, shockingly enough, the Badgers' passing game will be the difference. Badgers by 10.

Living in DC, I'm largely resigned to the fact that almost everyone here is a Democrat. And when I say everyone, I mean EVERYONE, from the run down ghettos of Anacostia to the rich NW neighborhoods of Georgetown and Chevy Chase. To put it in perspective, in the 2000 election, Al Gore won 85% to George Bush's 9%. No, that isn't a typo. Bush really won only 9% of the DC vote.

That's why I was delightfully surprised by my evening Metro ride starting at Farragut North. Consider:

• I saw a man wearing a button that read "Republican Lawyers for GWB."

• I saw another man wearing a tie fillled with elephants.

• I overheard two men discussing their adventures in trying to keep their Bush signs up and untampered with. Said one man, "I couldn't believe it; the other day I put 3 signs up at 5pm, and when I went out to walk the dog at 7, two of them were knocked over. Usually they last about 10 days before that happens!" Unfortunately, this man is not alone. Free speech and diversity loving Dems all over the country are acting on their own to silence those with viewpoints that they don't agree with.
  

Wow - Including me, that makes 5 Bush supporters all on the same train car. Scratch that, make that five VISIBLE Bush supporters. Who knows how many more there were, lurking in the shadows? Only time will tell, I suppose, but I have a sneaking suspicion that come Nov 3, people are going to finally see that there are a lot more closet Republicans in the District that they'd ever dreamt possible.

Drudge has the bombshell story of the week. It seems that the DNC is telling their poll workers to allege voting irregularities even where none exist, and on top of that, they're getting ready to trot out the "minority leadership" to lend creedence to the very allegations that they're directing their staffers to fabricate.

XXXXX DRUDGE REPORT XXXXX THU OCT 14, 2004 10:58:04 ET XXXXX

DNC ELECTION MANUAL: CHARGE VOTER INTIMIDATION, EVEN IF NONE EXISTS

**World Exclusive**

The Kerry/Edwards campaign and the Democratic National Committee are advising election operatives to declare voter intimidation -- even if none exists, the DRUDGE REPORT can reveal.

A 66-page mobilization plan to be issued by the Kerry/Edwards campaign and the Democratic National Committee states: "If no signs of intimidation techniques have emerged yet, launch a 'pre-emptive strike.'"

[HIGHLIGHT OF ELECTION DAY MANUAL, NOVEMBER 2004. CLICK FOR IMAGE .JPG FILE]

The provocative Dem battle plan is to be distributed in dozens of states, the DRUDGE REPORT has learned.

One top DNC official confirmed the manual's authenticity, but claimed the notion of crying wolf on any voter intimidation is "absurd."

"We all know the Republicans are going to try to steal the election by scaring people and confusing people," the top DNC source explained.

Developing...

Not only are these slimeballs telling their poll workers to allege intimidation even where none exists, but they are telling them to use "minority leaders" to lend creedence to and promote these lies. My god, I can't think of a more blatantly racist tactic - ":et's see," say top Dems, "How can we use the black man today? How can minorities be useful to us?"

I am beyond disgusted. Why people continue to vote for these power hungry self-aggrandizing, racist liars and cheats completely escapes me.

Liberals don't like the name of this blog. They accuse us of being nothing more than a couple of name callers. While I can understand why this might be someone's immediate reaction, I think if you look at our posts as a whole, you'd see that we combine the occasional name calling with thoughtful analysis.

So, why did we pick "dummocrats" as a name anyway? It's not just that one of us can't resist a good pun. And, it's not just that we want to wear our partisanship on our sleeves. From a marketing perspective, I think "dummocrats" is a great name. Think about it, you're looking at a blogroll and you see "Dummocrats.com" and "Jimmy B's Big Bad Blog". What do you click on?

A good name should be catchy, intriguing and it should give you an idea of what the product is all about. For example, if you're opening a pizza joint, "Ian's Pizza" is a great name. It lets people know what they're going to get. "Ian's House of Tasty Goodness", while a cute name, doesn't give the customer any idea of what to expect.

Of course, plenty of blogs out there do have more whimsical names, but for every successful Little Green Footballs, there's an Instapundit or Right Wing News.

We are "Dummocrats" not just because we're partisan bulldogs. We are "Dummocrats" because we're marketing geniuses. ;-) And we're modest too.

7:17 pm: With the debate a mere 43 minutes away, I'm in a race. Will I finish my dishes before the debate begins? Riveting, isn't it? Tonight's debate, for those of you who that don't know, will be held in the Grady Gammage Auditorium on the Arizona State University campus. The auditorium is:

considered by many to be the crowning jewel of ASU’s campus, is one of Frank Lloyd Wright’s last designs. Wright designed the building to be as acoustically perfect as possible.

Arizona State is also one of only 14 Division 1-A schools to still have an undefeated football team. Interestingly enough, the University of Miami, where the first debate was held, is also home to an undefeated football team. Clearly, the 2nd debate should have taken place in Madison instead of St. Louis ;-)

7:36 pm: Last time I liveblogged, I noticed that a lot of comments came in during the debate. Of course, I didn't notice this until I was done blogging. Tonight, I'll keep an eye on the comments, so if you have any questions or have something you want me to address, fire away and I'll take a stab at it.

7:53 pm: My darling Brit Hume informs me that tonight is all about domestic issues. Now, I know that my bingo cards cover both domestic and foreign issues, but I'm not worried. It's not as if either candidate actually answers the questions. They use the questions as a springboard into a particular section of their stump speech. I'm sure we'll still hear all about Iraq, $87 billion and Osama bin Laden.

7:59 pm: Shhh, don't tell anyone, but I find Bill Kristol from FoxNews quite attractive.

8:03 pm Is that a bulge? Or is President Bush just happy to see me?

8:05 pm What kind of weirdo question is that? Do 50-year olds really believe they grew up in a world they felt was safe? Does no one remember being afraid of nuclear war? Ugh. Again with the damn containers.

8:08 pm This will be a nice trap for Kerry on this flu question. Bush is calling for sacrifice, Kerry will criticize him for it, but later tonight Kerry will tell the workers and the successful that they should sacrifice for the slackers and deadbeats.

8:12 pm: I wish Bush had the balls to say, "Why should we ask taxpaying Americans to pay for the health insurance of those that don't work and don't pay taxes? Have we suddenly become socialist?"

Ohhh, but this is good too: "a plan is not a litany of complaints". Great line! Wow, 5 trillion dollars. Those are some amazing soundbites. Bush is on fire so far.

8:17 pm Call me a cynic, but it's hard for me to take the most liberal Senator in America seriously when he claims to be a fiscal conservative. Bwah! Bush is no fiscal conservative, but he's Ebenezer Scrooge compared to Kerry.

Bush is really calling him out on his record. Poor Kerry. He'd be so much better off if he could have somehow managed to have never voted in the Senate. He'd be golden then.

8:20 pm: I can't believe Kerry brought up unemployment benefits. I hope Bush mentions that Kerry's missed vote is why those unemployement benefits were not extended. C'mon Mr. President, remember that point!

8:23 pm: Our first commentator, Moses, thinks it's ironic that we run a blog called Dummocrats that supports President Bush. I think that when Moses calls the President an "imbecile" he actually illustrates our point.

8:26 pm: I like that Bush is arguing from conservative theories. He's pointing out that Kerry's plans involve spending our money, not some magical government money. Heh...awesome, "Ted Kennedy is the conservative Senator from Massachuesetts".

8:28 pm: I