Voter ID Hysteria in Wisconsin

[Posted by kris]

Wisconsin moonbat Joel McNally has a maddening little editorial in Madison's Capital Times today in which he compares Wisconsin's Voter ID bill to the civil rights struggles of the 50s and 60s. He writes:

If requiring photo IDs doesn't turn away enough minority voters, we can always go back to the dogs and fire hoses

Will someone please explain to me how requiring photo IDs at the polls is discriminatory against minorities? The facts say that it doesn't:

Some 120,000 of Wisconsin's 5 million residents do not have photo IDs, state officials estimate. Two-thirds of them are elderly people who no longer drive.

97.6% already have the IDs that would be required to vote. If anything, the Voter ID bill "discriminates" against the elderly, although they, along with the 40,000 or so non-elderly who lack identification can easily obtain a state ID for the whopping sum of $9.

But this is still too draconian for looney lefties like Joel McNally:

Republicans in Madison who are trying to throw up obstacles to disenfranchise minorities would not like to think of themselves as modern-day versions of the illiterate thugs who blew up black churches and murdered civil rights workers in the '50s and '60s.

For the most part, they may not be motivated by explicit racism. They are merely seeking petty political advantage. The end justifies the means just as it did four years ago when Florida officials blocked every minority vote they could to put into office a president who came in second nationally.

At the very least, Republicans who seek to add requirements to make voting more difficult for African Americans and Latinos display a callous lack of regard for the monumental struggle and the lives that were lost to win the vote for racial minorities.

It's so hard to comment on rhetoric like this because it's so ridiculous, and frankly, it's insulting to these people that did actually struggle to obtain their god-given rights. It's one thing to be denied the right to vote because of your race, it's quite another to be denied the right to vote because you can't be bothered to get yourself some identification.

Voter ID opponents complain that some people can't afford the $9 or that the homeless won't be able to obtain an ID. While I'm sure that's true in some circumstances, then work to, for example:

• Write language in the bill that would allow a homeless person to get a state ID using the address of a shelter and the testimony of a social worker
• Start charitable organizations whose sole purpose would be to pay for IDs for the poor
• Organize carpools for seniors to the DMV so they too can get IDs.

But instead, these moonbats insist on demonizing those who are trying to guarantee that Wisconsinites get one, and only one, vote. Why is that? On one hand, I'm sure it's just another part of the ongoing effort to paint the GOP as racist. But, given the rampant voter fraud in heavily Democratic areas of Wisconsin last November, maybe, just maybe, there's a more sinister reason.

 

The Map of New Canada

[Posted by kris]

Austin Bay speculates that Canada may be the world's next failed state:

What happens to Canada if Quebec secedes? Canadians are once again pondering this question -- live on the CBC -- and given Canada's status as America's number one trading partner and continental neighbor, U.S. citizens should consider the ramifications.

Canadians in the western and maritime provinces already dread the political power of populous Ontario. (Quebec serves as a political balance to Ontario.) If Quebec bids adieu, "remnant" Canada's political rules will be subject to revision. Subsequent regional bickering could lead to further fragmentation.

Bay thinks that Canadian fragmentation could result in some newly orphaned provinces seeking American statehood. I think he's probably right. So, what would a new Canada (and really, a new North America) look like? Here's my guess:

I see Canada splitting into four countries: British Columbia (green, above) and Quebec (purple) stand alone, Ontario, Manitoba, Saskatchewan and Nunavut (yeah, I never heard of it either) form "New Canada" (in peach) and the rest of the provinces become American states 51 through 57.

The new United States kind of looks like it's raising its arms in triumph. "Take THAT, Canada!". While I think this would be a great deal for the former Canadian provinces (they'll probably just be happy to be off the metric system more than anything else), what exactly would America get out of this deal? Well, here are a few things:

1. Spectacular Banff National Park
2. Prince Edward Island, the home of Anne of Green Gables
3. One of the world's biggest malls in Edmonton
4. Alberta's oil
5. Yee Haw! The Calgary Stampede
6. All 1,000 miles of the Yukon Quest dog sled race on American soil
7. The ancestoral home of Yukon Cornelius
8. The Halifax Citadel National Historical Site, which was ironically built to defend Halifax from Americans
9. The Titanic Grave Site
10. The Cabot Trail in Nova Scotia, which would serve as a nice bookend with California's US Hwy 1
11. The highest tides in the world in the Bay of Fundy

So, while I'd still rather we acquire some warm spots like Cancun and Acapulco, I guess Canada wouldn't be that bad. And, hey, even Wisconsinites are going to look sophisticated in comparison, eh?

 

The Apprentice Recap - Week 14 - Who got fired

[Posted by james]

The show opens with clips of Bren and Alex talking about how awesome they thought their stupid little table was. *snicker*. I don't know how they could have possibly thought that their table was any good at all, let alone "awesome." It's almost as if the producers said "hey, say what you DON'T think about your table. You know, like the exact opposite of the truth." Anyway, it's good that bygones are bygones, and by-golly Bren is gone for good.

moneymoneymoneymoney-MONEY...almight-eey-dollah....blah blah blah, moneeeeey.

Trump lays out the task: you're gonna design a Hanes commemorative t-shirt. Team Alex gets to pick a teammate to join him on team loser, and he lets us know that he's thought long and hard about it and that he's decided that he wants TANA. That is the best choice - not only is Tana good at everything she does, but this leaves Craig and Kendra, who hate each other, alone to rip each other to shreds. Good thinking.

I have to say, though, I think Craig is going to do well on this task - as I said last week, Craig isn't a good communicator, and he has really crappy management and people skills, but he is creative and has a knack for knowing what people want. It's also interesting that both Craig and Kendra are "loners," each quite capable of hammering out the task on their own. (You'll remember that Craig did the incredibl successful "box" all by himself, and that Kendra did the impressive brochure all by herself.) At this point, I don't know who to pick, but I'm leaning towards Craig.

Each team is partnered with a pop artist, Magna with Romero someone-or-other and Net worth with one Burton Morris. The teams will be selling their product at a store called "Scoop."

Tana is project manager of Team Tana-Saves-Alex's-Ass, and Kendra is the project manager of Team-Two-Year-Olds. Both teams seem to hit on identical ideas - Tana goes for wings and a star with the word "coutre," and the two-year-olds pick a heart with wings and the word "culture." Do wings have something to do with Hanes that I'm unaware of? Craig says that he would have preferred to use a star b/c it's "more universal" and I have to think that he's dead-on right - more people want stars than hearts. But Kendra makes an executive decision, and besides, their artist is wearing clothing that's plastered with hearts, so maybe that's all he can draw.

Alex wants to bling up the shirt, and Tana immediately gets psyched about a product called "the beadazzler." Unfortunately for me, I'm no stranger to the beadazzler, because back in my P.T. (pre-tivo) days, infomercials for that thing were on constantly. Tana says "It costs about $10 and I think I've made about $10,000 off of it, putting beads on t-shirts." On the cab ride all the way over to freakin' Staten Island to pick up this beadazzler Alex bitches that Tana isn't paying enough attention to marketing, etc. He tells the camera in no uncertain terms that he thinks that Tana is a bad leader, makes bad decisions, etc. Earth to Alex - Tana always wins. You always lose. Mr. stupid little work-table or whatever that was. My lord, this guy is out there.

The two years olds just keep fighting. And I keep skipping over it.

OK - I think that team two-year-olds has a pricing problem. In their arguing, Craig thought that the price was too low - $35 for a hoodie, $25 for a t-shirt, "for an original, limited edition design by a famous artist." I've never shopped for this crap but I can tell you that yes, the price is too low. Well, it looks like Kendra won the battle, because that's the price they go with. First customer says "I want three - wait, how much are they? (hears the prices) OK, I need 4." Whoa, but now Craig is giving people discounts. team confuses me!

Team Tana is pricing at $45-$55. George comes in to say that he thinks the task will be won on price point.

Enter the boardroom.
Team Tana sold 33 shirts for $1148.
Team Terrible-Twos sold 101 shirts for $2705.

Looks like George was wrong - this task was won on marketing, because team TT marketed to the artist's fan base. Oh, no, I really, really, hope that weasely Alex doesn't somehow manage to get Tana fired for this. See, Alex whined about everything for the whole task, the lack of marketing included, so of course he'll have something to blame her for.

Whoa, Reward: Kendra and Craig get to dogfight each other in real fighter planes. Trump says "I hope you don't have a problem with airsickness and BOTH of them says "my daddy was in the air force/was a pilot." OK, kiddies, so we now know that your daddys don't have a problem with airsickness, but that wasn't the question, was it? These 2 really bother me.

Kendra, before getting into the plane: "The whole task was a catfight, and now we're gonna have a dogfight."

OK, this dogfight is an awesome reward. I think Kendra won.

Pre-boardroom scenes: JackAlex tells us that he's smarter than Tana, and in not so words tells us that he thinks he's smarter than everyone else on the show too. Oh boy. I can hardly stand to watch this guy. If he isn't fired tonight, I'm not watching anymore.

In the boardroom, Alex starts in on the lack of marketing. Trump asks them both to step out of the room so he can consult with his posse. George: thinks Alex has more fire. Karen: Tana is good salesperson and is nice and sweet, but I can't see her working for you.

Hmm, it's looking like it's gonna be Tana. I think this is her first boardroom too - how unfair. Trump: Tana, you're terrible. Alex, you never win. Tana, you're usually pretty teriffic. Alex, it almost seemed like all you did was sit back and hope that she'd fail.

Alex: You're Fired!

Whew, that was close. As I've said previously, I'm no Tana fan, but I can't stand jackalex.

In Alex's taxicab confession he tells us how great he is. Oh, Alex, like we didn't already know - you've been telling us for 14 weeks now!

Check out our other Apprentice recaps here.

 

Young Voters be Damned

[Posted by james]

Question: What age demographic is the Republican party battling for most fiercely?
Answer: 16-24.

Question: What is the most popular TV show right now with the 16-24 demograhic?
Answer: The OC.

Question:: What show did the President just bump off the air with his non-emergency, completely unnecessary Thursday Night press conference?
Answer: The OC.

I personally know about a dozen kids in that age range that are currently pissed at the President.

Not a smart move, Mr. President.

UPDATE: Drudge:

The White House learned a painful media lesson Thursday: Do not launch a press conference on the first night of May Sweeps!

CBS, NBC and FOX cut off President Bush, mid-sentence, in several time zones, after sacrificing one hour of prime.

The president was left standing on the stage as NBC rushed to Donald Trump, FOX to Paris Hilton and CBS to SURVIVOR: PALAU.

ABC and PBS stayed with talkative Bush until he left reporters in the East Room of the White House.

Sensing he was running into trouble, Bush joked, "We better finish this up, there are TV programs to show. And I want to help the economy."

But it was too late.

They had already pulled away.

Again, I can't stress enough how completely stupid I think it was for him to interrupt the most popular TV night of the week.

 

Top Five Changes to the American Idol Contestant Contract

[Posted by kris]

With ABC and former contestants such as Corey Clark planning American Idol exposes, our lawyer-to-be, James, thought it'd be a good time to dig into the fine print of the Idol contracts and see just how the show was working to try to prevent future scandals. Thanks to his hard work, we're able to bring this peek into the dark side of the entertainment industry to you. These are the top five tidbits we found.

5. "I understand that by initialing here I am certifying that I have a clean record and that I've never been arrested for any crime whatsover. I further understand that any misrepresentations on my part are grounds for immediate disqualification from the show. (unless said misrepresentations improve ratings*)

*added 2005

4. Clay's contract: "I promise that I won't pull a fast one and try to get out of my idol contract."

Mario's contract: "I really, really promise that I won't pull a fast one and try to get out of my idol contract."

New standard contract: "I really, really, really, REALLY promise that I won't pull a fast one and try to get out of my idol contract. Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye."

3. "I undertand that membership in The Dawg Pound ("Dawg Pound") is compulsory for male contestants and that Randy Jackson, at his sole discretion, can extend offers to female contestants as he sees fit. I hereby release Fox from any and all liability arising from Title IX claims in this regard."

2. I agree that at the request of the producers I will perform at least three (3) songs by washed up singers that may or may not be present in the audience. Such acts may include but are not limited to Hall and Oates, Billy Ocean & Bonnie Tyler.

And, the number one change to the American Idol contract is:

1. "What happens in Paula's rec room, stays in Paula's rec room."

 

American Idol Voting Results-Who Got Voted Off-Week 7

[Posted by kris]

The show begins and my first impression is that Scott, Constantine and Carrie look sad. Could they really be the bottom three? Seacrest is in and he'll soon give us the scoop. Once again, Ryan is Mr. Conservative. That's ever so disappointing. Maybe Paula will be drunk. Ah well, a girl can dream.

Group sing time. Oh crap, it's ACB (another crappy ballad). Bo makes "Emotions" momentarily sound okay, but then the moment passes and it's back to the schlockathon.

Random thought: Carrie & Bo have some very comfortable body language. Should Bo's identical girlfriend and my cowriter James be worried? I think so.

Once again, Ryan is putting the contestants into two groups. You don't want to be in Scott's group, do you? Here's how it goes:

Vonzell: far side
Carrie: near side
Bo: near side (so, Vonzell must be in the bottom three, huh?)
Federov: far side (Anthony is not pleased)

And, we won't get to the rest until after the break. My prediction: Vonzell, Federov & Scott are the bottom three, as I predicted last night. I wonder if, during this break, Vonzell and Federov are practicing not making the "d'oh" face when Scott joins their group.

Ryan makes Scott and Constantine pick the group they think they belong with. They both stand with Carrie & Bo. If I were Vonzell or Federov I'd be kicking their asses right about now. Ryan announces that Carrie & Bo are in the top group. Duh.

WFT? Constantine is the bottom three and effing Scott is safe again. America, what the HELL are you thinking. You sicken me.

Ryan sends Vonzell back to safety. I think this means that Federov, who did the best job last night, is probably going home, but of course they're dragging this out through another commercial break. While we wait, once again I'll ask, "America, WTF, mate?". Not only is Scott a gross, woman-beating, punkass thug, he was terrible last night.

And we're back to the Anthony Federov Memorial version of American Idol. Except, Constantine is going home!!! It's Constantine! Wow, I'm shocked. But, I'm slightly less angry at America. USA! USA!

Constantine makes a classy exit, while Scott looks a little too pleased by the result. Paula is practically balling. Or, alternatively, she's just drunk.

Wow, oh what a night.

Read our previous recaps

 

University of Wisconsin–Eau Claire Wages Campaign Against Student Viewpoints

[Posted by james]

I'll try to write something on this later, as I'm now something of a First Amendment scholar, but for now see the F.I.R.E. release here.

Defying the First Amendment, the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire (UWEC) has decided to prohibit student organizations with religious or political viewpoints from receiving student-fee funding. The UWEC Student Senate approved the unconstitutional changes to student organization funding policy in mid-March, banning student groups or events that endorse "a particular ideological, religious, or partisan viewpoint" from being eligible for student-fee funding. Though FIRE has twice written UWEC about the university's responsibility to be viewpoint neutral when distributing student-fee funds, UWEC has yet to retract the unlawful new rule that violates the rights of all students to freedom of expression and legal equality. For full details, please read below.

Full article here.

 

Taxing Truths in Virginia

[Posted by John Tant]

The Republican nominee for governor of my fair Commonwealth, Jerry Kilgore, recently put forth a few proposals that would help out our funding of transportation issues. Among them are ideas to create regional authorities that would be able to put tax items on local ballots.

At first blush, I don't think it's a bad idea at all. One of the big sources of tension in Virginia is the current system. Right now we have Northern Virginia gobbling up a great deal of tax dollars contributed by the rest of the Commonwealth. And while it's a valid argument that Northern Virginia contributes a decent share of the total take, it's still countered by pointing out that much of the rest of the state doesn't get the same bang for the buck that NoVA gets. Regional transportation authorities might address this better.

And then there's this little tidbit. I offer it to not only highlight editorial bias, but the gloss-over-the-facts stance of the Tim "No One In Virginia Supports Me" Kaine campaign (the Democratic nominee):

[Kilgore] said he would use extra revenue in the state's general fund from a growing economy to pay for transportation projects, an approach criticized by his likely Democratic opponent, Lt. Gov. Timothy M. Kaine.

Kaine spokeswoman Delacey Skinner said that "paying for transportation out of the general fund is ultimately going to put transportation dollars in competition with education dollars. What you'll end up with is money that would have gone to education going to transportation."

Well, there's a salient piece of information missing from this passage. Virginia, thanks to a one billion dollar tax increase pushed through by Mark Warner, has a nearly one billion dollar surplus. Yep. When Kilgore is saying he wants to use "extra revenue," he's talking about the surplus. For Kaine (or Skinner) to casually conflate that with education funding is, well, disingenuous. Education is already fully funded. So instead of giving surplus money to a fully funded program, Kilgore is talking about giving money to an entity in lieu of a tax increase that would otherwise be required to fund it. Such are the peculiarities of Commonwealth budgets. And bottom line, it makes sense to use surplus money instead of a tax increase...which is why Kaine is against it.

As for further down the line...if there are regional transportation authorities instead of a giant Full Service VDOT, then general fund dollars won't be in competition with transportation dollars, because the regional authorities are just that...regional. Besides, if the general fund dollars shifted to transportation are, as Kilgore described, "extra," then we're talking about surplus tax dollars, and the idea of them being "in competition" with programs already funded is rendered moot.

Also funny is Skinner's follow up statement:

Skinner added that the proposal to hold referendums on tax increases shows a lack of leadership. "When you ask the difficult question of how are you going to pay for this, Jerry always wants to put that off on somebody else," she said.

Hilarious. Left unsaid are the numerous referendums Mark Warner (current Virginia governor...and a Dem) put forth on just that thing. It was only when he was defeated each time did he decide to outright break his promises not to seek a tax increase and go to the Assembly.

Also funny is in how these guys seem to be all over the idea of Democracy...unless it has to do with tax increases. Then the idea of a direct vote becomes a lack of leadership. And with all due respect, Skinner...the idea of "who will pay for this" isn't that difficult of a question. One way or another...Commonwealth taxpayers are going to pay for it. Why is it so difficult for Kaine to have a notion that the people footing the bill should have a more direct say in whether the projects go forward or not?

 

Amazing Race Recap-Episode 9

[Posted by kris]

If last week's episode was all about the frenzy of India, tonight's episode was all about the hubris of Rob. Rob's decision to try to mess with Gretchen's mind was the only thing that spurred the Dandy Dons and Uchenna & Joyce to search for a better flight from Jodhpur to Istanbul. And, that's what gave those two teams a two-hour lead on Rob & Amber and Ron & Kelly. But what the hell? Uchenna & Joyce have won the last two legs but they didn't get an extra prize on either of them. That's not fair!

The editors sure had a lot of fun tonight with Rob. But, every time he crowed about how much smarter he was than Uchenna & Joyce or the Dandy Dons, he gave them so much to work with. Rob has a lot going for him, but he lacks humility. I think that when you don't see teams for an entire leg, it should cross your mind that they might be ahead of you. It takes a cocky, cocky man to assume he's in the lead.

While the lead teams' earlier flight was a secret for most of the leg, the fact that tonight was a non-elimination episode wasn't. Well, not to long time viewers at least. You had to expect that tonight was non-elimination, next week we'll get rid of one team and then we're down to three for the final episode. But, even though I knew it was coming, I was still disappointed that the one time Ron & Kelly finished last, they'd get to stay in the game. Could Kelly have been more distasteful tonight? How dare she claim that Ron "got out" of his military commitment by being a POW. Ron needs to escape her.

Other than the non-elimination element, I really enjoyed this leg. My personal highlights:

• The beautiful airport facade in Jodhpur. The teams can bitch all they want about India, but there's got to be something good about a country where they care enough to make something as boring as an airport beautiful
• Istanbul. Istanbul. Istanbul. The city has been number one on my list of dream foreign destinations for a long time now and tonight did nothing to change that. It's so full of history and so beautiful. I hope that at some point in next week's episode they have to visit a Turkish bazaar.
• I appreciated Ron getting in the obligatory "Istanbul not Constantinople" joke.
• Gretchen continued her tradition of dirty double speak by yelling that she needed a "big man!"
• Mmmm...Phil. Phil was looking super hot in his funky brown suede jacket. That man can look wicked good when he wants to
• Airport drama was back. Working the airports has been an ignored skill so far this season, but tonight it was the crucial factor that propelled Uchenna & Joyce into first place
• Even though the Dandy Dons had a great leg, for them, they managed to keep me entertained with their continuing ineptitude. They can't find a clue, both literally and figurtively. It cracks me up how the show cues up the oompha music to punctuate their follies.

Note that I'm pretending the whole embarassing Travelocity gnome thing didn't even happen. This show doesn't need to stoop to that kind of silly product placement. Next thing you know they'll have Pringles-sponsored roadblocks.

Next week, I think we'll say a fond farewell to the Dandy Dons. Sooner or later, their luck has got to run out, right? RIGHT??

Be sure to check out Viking Pundit's excellent recap.

 

American Idol Recap-Week 7

[Posted by kris]

Seacrest in. Tonight our dear Ryan is nattily attired in a conservative outfit of jeans, a blue/green button down shirt and a greyish blazer. He looks so, so normal. Well that's no fun.

Tonight's theme is (drumroll) songs from the year 2000 on. They call these "themes"? Remember back when contestants had to master big band one week and the musical stylings of Burt Bacharach the next? The kids these days have it so easy.

Carrie is up first and before the Idol wannabes sing, we're going to be treated to a look at their hometown lives. Carrie's a farm girl through and true. She claims she even sang to the cows! I believe that. I sing to my animals too. Of course, when I do they run away in horror, but whatever. My cowriter, James, will be pleased to see that Carrie's mom still looks fantastic. So James, I bet Carrie will be beautiful even after you've been married for 20 years.

Carrie is singing "God Fearing Women" by Martina McBride. She's got the good Jennifer-on Days straight hair tonight and is kicking a little ass on this country tune. She still struggles on the low notes, but her stage presence has improved tremendously. She's actually connecting to the audience for once.

Randy: she sounds pitchy
Paula: didn't like the song choice--in other words, she doesn't like country
Simon: doesn't get country music, but the fans will love her
Kris: the song was okay, but she looked like she was having fun, so I liked it.

Clay Aiken is in the house. All over America, pre-teen girls squeal.

Next up is Bo. Bo is from Alabama and his girlfriend (and yes, thousands of girls are crestfallen at those words) looks almost exactly like him. It's kind of freaky. His dad is one of those men who look like Kenny Rogers and finally, his bandmates remind me of the two guys in the Dodge Hemi commercials.

Bo is singing "I Don't Wanna Be" and wearing sunglasses (at night!) and the ugliest poncho I've ever seen. He's concentrating more on looking cool and interacting with the crowd than he is on the singing. Hmmm, but, on the other hand, he is dirty and that's always a good thing. The crowd goes absolutely crazy when he finishes. I think we might see some panties on the stage soon.

Randy: American Idol has a true rock star
Paula: what Randy said
Simon: Bo's got his groove back, but he hates the sunglasses
Kris: Simon's right, the sunglasses are terrible, although the poncho's worse. Hmmm, maybe his girlfriend is helping him pick out his clothes with the ulterior motive of making him look less attractive to other women. I'm convinced that golfer Phil Mickelson's wife has successfully used this technique for years (the pants??).

Vonzell, "the Vonz", is from Florida where she worked as a mail carrier. Awww, that's so sweet. If you watched Project Runway, then you're probably thinking about how cute Vonzell would have looked in Austin's darling postal outfit. I know I am.

Uh oh. Vonzell is singing a ballad, "I Turn To You" by Christina Aguilera. This is a HUGE tactical error. We like upbeat, fun Vonzell, not torch singer Vonzell. And not just that, she's also having problems hitting the notes. It was a rough performance.

Randy: gets points for degree of difficulty
Paula: she turned on the magic, she was "bone chilling"
Simon: has a horrible feeling it wasn't as good as Randy & Paula thought
Kris: As usual, the British man speaketh the truth

Federov lives outside of Philly but is originally from the Ukraine. I hadn't heard that. Why is he keeping that colorful bit of information secret? His dad lovingly says that Federov "isn't just a dreamer, he's a dreammaker".

Anthony is ever-so-earnestly singing some Celine Dion song. I think this is "I Surrender", which I only know because Kelly Clarkson sang it in season one. Federov is doing a great job of singing this so powerfully, but I'm thinking of Kelly's version, which she sang as though the pain of the emotion was going to overwhelm her. In my book at least, you don't want to be compared to Kelly.

Randy: loved the high notes, but very tepid praise
Paula: oh dear, Paula and I are thinking alike as she mentions Kelly's performance too. she thinks this was one of his best performances
Simon: hated it, but thinks Federov is brave and that his fans will like him. he nailed it.
Kris: Simon's right again. I suspect there are more than a few old bettys in Federov's fan club and I also suspect they loved the Celine.

Now it's time for Constantly-Dirty. Life back in New York is just Greeky for our dear Constantine. Aw, he was so cute in his high school graduation picture. What happened?

Constantine is doing his best Jim Morrison imitation while singing "This is How You Remind Me" by Nickelback. He's doing the bleating thing again this week. He's working the charisma, because that's all he's got tonight. He sounds absolutely terrible, I actually wonder if he's sick or something. Ugh, I can't wait for this to be over.

Randy: the girls love him, but Randy thought it was "high on performing and low on vocals"
Paula: didn't like the song, but liked the performance. in other words, she thinks he's hot (ooh, but is he hotter than Corey?). she says it doesn't matter if he gets the notes wrong.
Simon: now that Constantine is on Idol, this kind of rock song makes him nothing more than a poser.
Kris: more sucky than sucky

Now it's time for the punkass. Punkass Scott grew up in the "hood" of Shaker Heights. Scott's parents claim they thought he'd be a priest. Oh god, how creepy is that? Scott thinks that if we went to Cleveland we'd see thousands of "hims" walking around. Remind me again not to go to Cleveland, please.

Scott is singing a song I have never heard before. It's some lame ass ballad. He's also missing all the high notes. And folks, that's all he has. He's so weak in his lower register. He's a one-trick pony and tonight that trick has deserted him.

Randy: his weakest performance in weeks. heh, for a second I thought Randy said it was "bitchy" rather than "pitchy"
Paula: didn't like it, but is too nice to say so
Simon: bye
Kris: WOO!!! I loved it. I'm so mean ;-)

My bottom three: Constantine, Vonzell, Scott
My predicted bottom three: Vonzell, Scott & Federov

The boot: Scott. At last. Praise the lord!

 

Madison: Glossing Over the 60s

[Posted by kris]

When you think of Saturdays in Madison, you think of fall and football and beer gardens and tailgating under the deep blue skies of September and October. However, there are two Madison Saturday events that are almost as well known: Crazylegs & the Mifflin Street Block Party. These Saturdays are like a football game in spring and this year, they're both happening on the same day, April 30th. While the adults will gather in the Camp Randall-area beer gardens for an afternoon of drinking uninterupted by a pesky football game, their college counterparts will pack the decks, lawns and sidewalks of Mifflin Street drinking, smoking, listening to music and looking to hook up. While I have a storied personal history at both events, I'm firmly in the beer garden age group now.

The Mifflin Street Block Party started as a political event in 1969. The Wisconsin State Journal's Susan Lampert Smith has an article in today's paper that gently mocks how it's turned from that into a party thrown with the cooperation of the Madison Police Dept. She writes:

Hippie: "500 block Mifflin, be there."
Neo-hippie: "Love to, dude, let me check my BlackBerry.
Hippie: "Dig it!"
Neo-hippie: "Naw, sorry, the 7th's no good, got a calculus exam on the 8th. Can't be loaded for logarithms."
Hippie: "The revolution will not be televised."
Neo-hippie: "Oh, good point. Don't want to miss "The O.C." either. How's the 30th? Does that work for you?
Hippie: "Off the pig."

However, Lampert's article ignores the dark side of the 60s. She quotes a man named Karl Armstrong and portrays him as a "1969 partier". While Armstrong was at the '69 block party, he's better known as the mastermind of the 1970 bombing of Sterling Hall on the UW-Madison campus. This bombing killed a 33-year old physics researcher (and father of two) Robert Fassnacht and injured four others. Armstrong, after fleeing to Canada, was eventually brought to justice and served his time.

The bombing of Sterling Hall was almost 35 years ago. Many Madisonians would read this article and have no idea who Karl Armstrong is, and, by not mentioning it, Lampert Smith paints him as nothing more than a partying hippie. While some may say that Armstrong has already paid the price for his actions and we shouldn't dwell on them, I'd point those people to last week's articles on Pope Benedict XVI. Nearly every one of them made a point to include the fact that the Pope was a member of the Hitler Youth: when he was 14, when it was mandatory and over 64 years ago. There are some facts you can't (and shouldn't) be able to escape.

Madison has a way of glorifying its radical past while glossing over some of the more undesirable aspects of it. It's still a city that hasn't yet embraced reality.

 

Our New Political Party: The Republicrats

[Posted by kris]

Sharp as a Marble comes up with this perfect graphic to represent our new political party, the Republicrats:

I know it's cynical of me, but I gotta agree with the sentiment that, right now, there's not a lot of difference between our two major parties.

On a different note, why have I not noticed the Rolling Glenndex before? Heh. That's classic. Indeed.

 

Should women be assigned to combat units?

[Posted by Laura]

I’ve been curious about this since I read She Went to War, by Rhonda Cornum, the first (only?) female POW of the Gulf War. Officially, women are banned from combat. Or are they?

Sgt. 1st Class Turrie Peoples was stationed in the Green Zone in Baghdad, under regular mortar fire. Peoples may be the first female, senior NCO to lead a platoon in a war zone. “People don’t always agree with women in combat,” she said. “But I got a lot of support. I give credit to my platoon. They’re who makes you as a leader.”

In a war with no defined front, the reality is that women are under fire just like their male counterparts.

Women remain barred from infantry, armor, special forces and certain artillery units. Defense Department policy also excludes them from units smaller than a brigade - 3,000 to 5,000 soldiers - with the primary mission of engaging in direct combat on the ground. That still leaves room for them to serve in police, supply, maintenance and other units that closely support combat troops. Those units are vulnerable in Iraq, where conventional front lines don't exist and insurgents target relatively lightly protected patrols and supply lines. "We've always operated under the assumption that there were such things as front-line troops," said Michael O'Hanlon, a military expert at the Brookings Institution. "It's obviously not true in an insurgency or stabilization mission."

What has been happening unofficially up until may soon be officially sanctioned, according to the Center for Military Readiness in this article:

The supposedly “unofficial” Women in the Army Point Paper includes a subtle but momentous change in the wording of current Defense Department regulations, which the Army does not have the power to make. Current rules prohibit the assignment of female soldiers from assignment to “battalion size or small units which are assigned a primary mission to engage in direct ground combat or which collocate routinely with units assigned a direct ground combat mission.” (AR 600-13, as affirmed by DoD, 1994, emphasis added).

The new wording would only exempt female soldiers from such assignments when the land combat battalions are “conducting an assigned direct ground combat mission.” (emphasis added) Under this new “concept,” female soldiers in forward support companies won't be collocated, even though they will be in the FSCs, because they really won’t be there when the battle begins.

The idea described in the article is that the women would be evacuated prior to engagement. The Center emphatically disagrees with the whole notion of women in combat, and especially of this backdoor way of getting women in combat. This phenomenon may be a strange convergence of liberal social engineering and army officials who apparently claim that there are not enough male soldiers for forward support companies. This last, referred to in the CMR article linked above, was news to me, as I spoke yesterday to the son of a friend, who was angry when he found out that his Airborne unit was being deployed to West Point instead of Afghanistan. He’s considering asking to be transferred to another unit who is going overseas; a difficult choice to leave the men he has trained with and learned to trust. CMR asserts that if there are shortages, they are due in large part to gender-based recruiting quotes which ought to be done away with.

I’m not really sure whether a woman who can meet the exact same physical requirements as a man, and who wants to be assigned to a combat unit ought to be excluded. I haven’t seen studies on how this would affect unit cohesiveness or morale. I’m guessing the effect would be bad. But if they are going to be assigned to combat units, the only determining factor ought to be, Will it help us win? This Chicago Sun-Times column sums it up: “It's high time we had an open and honest debate about this issue, because it's too important to just let the bureaucrats have their way by default.”

 

Pope Benedict XVI's Classical Revival

[Posted by kris]

To date, Pope Benedict XVI's most famous quote is this:

"We are moving toward a dictatorship of relativism which does not recognize anything as for certain and which has as its highest goal one's own ego and one's own desires."

Many commentators have seized on this as an example of this Pope's conservatism and have bemoaned the fact that he's unlikely to advocate a more permissive brand of Catholicism. While it's true that Benedict XVI isn't about to change Catholic doctrine on abortion, birth control, marriage of the clergy or homosexuality, I think they're missing the point of this quote. On Meet the Press today, the New Republic's E.J. Dionne says:

I think there's a lot of fear on the part of moderate and progressive Catholics that--I keep wanting to say Joseph Ratzinger, because he made such a name for himself with that name--that Pope Benedict does have a vision of the church that is not so much in kind of conversation with modernity as really quite hostile to modernity.

I wish someone could clearly define modernity. Isn't "modern" itself a relative term. But anyway, if modernity simply equals relativism, then I think that Dionne is probably right on. But it's amusing to me that some Americans want to brand the Pope as some kind of scary "absolutist" while ignoring the fact that our entire society is based on an absolutist argument. Thomas Jefferson, in the Declaration of Independence wrote:

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

"Laws of Nature", "truths", "unalienable Rights": these are absolutist, black & white, right & wrong words. But read them again and tell me if you disagree with them. Or, if you thinking I'm focusing too much on America, read France's Universal Declaration of the Rights of Man and the Citizen. I remember sitting in college classes where a Professor would solemnly tell us it was wrong to apply our Western morals to judge other societies. I've never felt comfortable with that. The fact that someone was born in Iran, for example, doesn't mean they have less of a right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness than I do.

This is classical Western thought, and I've no doubt that the Pope sees that these ideals are being attacked in the West from within. While Europe has, on one hand, become more and more secular, it's also seeing immigration by increasingly radical Muslims. Put another way, Europeans have decided not to believe in anything and they're now being joined by a new population who is being taught to believe in some things that are the antithesis of classical Western values.

In the past, the Church was the ruler of Europe, sometimes with disastrous results. But now the pendulum has perhaps swung too far in the opposite direction. Is it so terrible to have a Pope interested in figuring out the place of religion in public life? Even TNR's Dionne, who claimed he was "petrified" with the new Pope says:

his record is a little bit ambiguous in the sense that, for example, he has written in praise of the American approach to religion, the American government's approach to religion, that leaves open a wide space for religious diversity, but accepts religion's role in the public square.

For some reason, the media is treating Pope Benedict XVI almost exactly like they treat President Bush. They're turning him into some kind of boogeyman, while ignoring the fact that his policies and beliefs are virtually identical to his much-praised predecessor. The poor man is being demonized because he's a Catholic Pope who is, well, Catholic.

 

American Idol or Nashville Star?

[Posted by james]

Most everyone in America has seen American Idol, but how many have heard of, much less seen, Nashville Star, the "country" verson of the popular Pop show on the USA Network? Up until a few weeks ago my only exposure to Nashville Star was through seeing the roughly 50 bazillion advertisments for the show that run daily on USA. Indeed, it's nearly impossible to catch a rerun of "Law and Order" or "Walker, Texas Ranger" without Leann Rimes gracing your screen urging you to tune in. The ads are so pervasive that even I, with my commercial-skip enabled tivo, was unable to escape them.

At the urging of Leann (and with a little nudging from my friend Kristin) I finally tuned in about 3 weeks ago and I immediately got a sense of why the network is promoting the show so heavily - because it's good. And I don't just mean "good" as in it's entertaining for an hour, I mean it's really good. It's better than 90% of the shows on network television, American Idol included. So why hasn't it been picked up by struggling ABC or NBC? Don't the TV execs know that country music is a bigger demographic than Pop or Rock? Apparently not. Or maybe USA just has an iron-clad contract that keeps them there. Who knows.

While I can't pretend to know the reasons that the show stews in cable television obscurity, I can urge all of you to check it out. Here are just a few of the reasons that "Star" is better than "Idol":

1. The Star contestants play instruments, the Idol contestants don't. It isn't required, but more performers than not are onstage holding a guitar. I don't know, but it seems to me that if you're going to go on TV and claim to be a musician, you should have a guitar in your hand.

2. The contetants play original music. Not every week, mind you, but there are weeks when they must sing and perform original tunes. From what I saw, most of those tunes were really good. I will be shocked if half of them don't become hit singles.

3. Each week, Nashville Star has a real performer perform. Some weeks it's a contemporary country star, other weeks it's a country legend like Charlie Daniels.

4. When Nashville Star has a celebrity guest appearance, you get a current superstar like Tim McGraw. When American Idol has a celebrity guest appearance, you get a shot of a washed up Hall and Oates sitting in the audience.

5. The judges and hosts are more knowledgeable/experienced than the Idol judges. How can Seacrest, Paula, Simon, and R-Dawg possibly compare with Leann Rimes, Cledus T. Judd, Phil Vassar, Anastasia Brown, and Bret Michaels? (yes, THAT Bret Michaels.) While the Idol judges do have impressive resumes, they are easily bested when compared to those of the Star cast.

6. The Star judges give better advice. You commonly hear the Star judges talking about country, rock, gospel, outlaw, blues, etc, all with authority. What do you hear out of the Idol judges? "You rock dawg!" "That was pitchy!"

   And finally, perhaps most importantly of all,

7. You don't have to be a country music fan to like Nashville Star. There is definitely something for everyone, especially if you're a music fan.
   

Unfortunately, this season of Nashville Star is almost over, but you can catch a marathon repeat of the entire season this Tuesday on USA, followed by the season finale at 10pm EST.

You know, it occurs to me that "Idol" and "Star" perhaps shouldn't be compared head-to-head like this - they are, after all, shows about different things. One is about trying to find the next music superstar. The other is about finding the next teen idol. As for me, if I had a choice, I'd much rather be on Nashville Star.

How about you? Comments are open.

 

NFL Draft: Who Will The Packers Pick?

[Posted by kris]

I ran into one of Wisconsin's top sports columnists tonight. Since the NFL draft is tomorrow, I took the opportunity to pick his brain about what he thought the Packers would do.

I guessed that the Packers would take Iowa defensive end Matt Roth, but no, I was informed, the Packers think Roth's arms are too short. Seriously, that's how nitpicky these teams get. I'm amazed. The guy managed to be a star in college with his shorty short arms, I doubt that that's what's going to hold him back at the next level. Maybe this is why the Packers have had such crummy drafts lately.

Anyway, this reporter told me that the Packers really covet Georgia safety Thomas Davis, but he'll probably be long gone before they pick in the 24th spot. So, this guy predicts that they'll pick Florida State defensive tackle Travis Johnson. Here's what ESPN's Len Pasquarelli has to say about him:

Upside: Compelling size-speed-quickness combination. Exceptional athlete with quick, active hands and nifty feet. When he's on his game, explodes off blocks, finds the ball and makes the play. Enough movement skill to get wide. Enough power to compact the pocket and chase down the quarterback. Like several of the top tackles in this draft, very nice pass-rush acumen. Can be a disruptive, dominant player when his motor is revved. Knows how to slip the double-team block and how to make himself narrow enough to get through small spaces. Aspires to be more than just another player.

Downside: Good but not great size and could use a little more strength. Probably has to play the three-technique spot. Will have to use his hands a little better and learn to shed quicker. Has a tendency to mope. Only started one full year as he had to wait his turn behind some of the Seminoles' big-time tackles. Has had some injuries.

The dish: A pure one-gap player who, based on athleticism and potential, should be the first tackle off the board.

Maybe I'm just dwelling on the negative, but a description that includes "has a tendency to mope" doesn't exactly fill me with confidence.

I also asked this reporter if he thought the Packers would be looking for a quarterback to be the heir apparent to Brett Favre. While the team sent someone to Auburn to talk to Jason Campbell this week, the word is that the team hasn't reached a consensus on whether they prefer Campbell to Akron's Charlie Frye. While I remember Frye from his awesome game against the Badgers two years ago, I don't know enough about either player to have a preference. What really disturbed me was the mention of Purdue's Kyle Orton as a pick. He's just about the last guy I'd want to see the Packers pick.

Hopefully the Packers are just playing possum and they'll pick up a great player in the first round and some steals later. We need it, because otherwise we're in for some lean years ahead.

Update: California QB Aaron Rodgers, considered a potential number one overall pick, dropped all the way to the Packers and they took him. I'm pretty happy with the pick. The Packers have too many problems to solve them all with one first round pick. Packer fans know they're going to suck for awhile. Hopefully Rodgers can lead the Packers in the post-Favre, post-Sherman (I hope) era.

I think that Craig Nall is going to be a good NFL quarterback, but maybe not for the Packers. The ideal situation is that Nall looks great in this preseason and we're eventually able to deal him for some good draft picks, a la Mark Brunell & Matt Hasselbeck.

 

Brave New World...Brought To You By Trent Reznor

[Posted by John Tant]

A little background:

At my house we recently acquired a Mac Powerbook G4 (the 12" model, for those interested). It works very well with our WiFi, and I've actually become quite fond of it. Frankly, if I had to do it all over again I would have probably gone Mac instead of Windows.

I'll pause while all you Mac folks shout "VINDICATION!!!"

Anyway, there is a neat application included with that Mac called GarageBand. It's basically a music composition/arrangement application, and since music is a hobby of mine (albeit a fairly neglected one until now), I've been playing with it quite a bit.

Well, color me surprised when I noticed a tidbit on Apple's page which pointed to this post on The Unofficial Apple Weblog. Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails released one of his singles in GarageBand format. Opening it up in GarageBand allows you to mess with the tracks, the instruments used...pretty much everything to do with the song. You can arrange it as a country-western single. A gregorian chant. Whatever.

If you're interested, you can get to the download link from here. Keep in mind the file is pretty hefty...70 MB.

I know this is an experiment by NiN, but I still think it's pretty cool even if some of the comments on TUAW kind of go overboard with it all. Still, I'm hoping other artists follow suit. I'll leave it to our Future Intellectual Property attorney to explore the legal issues created by it, but for now I'm going to make The Hand That Feeds into a blues song.

 

Top Ten Jane Fonda Movie Outtakes

[Posted by John Tant]

I have it on good authority that when Jane Fonda would appear in movies, during the shooting her co-stars would let loose with the snark and the scene would have to be reshot. These outtakes have been unknown...until now.

The Top Ten Jane Fonda Movie Outtakes

10: The China Syndrome

Kimberly Wells:[defending her cameraman] He's good, I think he's good. He's won a lot of awards.

Don Jacovich: Did he win any for manning a Viet Cong anti-aircraft battery?

9: On Golden Pond

Chelsea Thayer Wayne: It just seems like we've been mad at each other for so long...

Norman : Well, having a Blame America Firster as a daughter does that to a guy.

8: 9 to 5

Judy: What are we going to do? If we let him go, he'll call the police.

Doralee: You're right, we can't have that. They might start a treason investigation.

7: The Electric Horseman

Hallie Martin: I'm just trying to be pleasant. You get so worked up about everything.

Sonny Steele: I don't get worked up over EVERYTHING. Just know-nothing asses who hang out with communists while they're killing Americans. And to top it all off, I gotta cart your ass across creation.

6: Barefoot In The Park

Corie Bratter: Thank you, Mr. Dooley. Next time you're in New York, just call me up.

Paul Bratter: Well, I tried last time, but got your prerecorded message about US soldiers being war criminals.

5: The Electric Horseman

Hallie Martin: I've been to the rodeo. Twice.

Sonny Steele: I didn't know the Viet Cong had rodeos.

4: Cat Ballou

Cat: Where are you staying?

Jed: I'm not sure. Can you recommend a good hotel in Hanoi?

3: Agnes of God

Doctor Martha Livingston: Agnes, how do you feel about babies?

Sister Agnes: Do you mean innocent Viet Cong babies or future war criminal American babies?

2: Klute

Bree Daniel: Tell me, Klute. Did we get you a little? Huh? Just a little bit? Us city folk? The sin, the glitter, the wickedness? Huh?

John Klute : Yeah, whatever. Hey, your plane to Hanoi leaves in an hour.

1: Barbarella

The Great Tyrant: Do you want to come and play with me? For someone like you I charge nothing. You're very pretty, Pretty-Pretty.

Barbarella: My name isn't pretty-pretty, it's Barbarella.

The Great Tyrant: Well, I thought "Pretty-Pretty" sounded better than "Traitor-Traitor."

 

MSOE changes position, to allow Religious Freedom

[Posted by james]

FIRE News reports:

In a victory for religious liberty and freedom of association, the Milwaukee School of Engineering (MSOE) has granted full recognition to the ReJOYce in Jesus Campus Fellowship (RJCF) student group.

...

RJCF ran into trouble in Fall 2004 when ... MSOE’s Student Government Association (SGA) sent RJCF a letter stating that it would not recognize the group because it believed RJCF’s “Standards of Personal Conduct” discriminated on the basis of “sexual preference.” ... [I]ts “Standards of Personal Conduct”... require that voting members not commit acts “expressly forbidden in Scripture,” including “homosexual behavior” among others.

I'm glad that the University reversed its position, recognizing that freedom of association should apply to everyone, not just to the left-out minority few.

This politically correct hullabaloo and "culture of inclusion" has gotten so far out of control it's frightening. There always seem to be thousands of people ready to jump up and scream "discrimination!" whenever a group or individual exercises their right to associate with whomever they choose.

Hey, if you're not a Catholic, you shouldn't have the right to join the Knights of Columbus or any other organization that exists to bring people of similar beliefs together. What's so hard about that for people to understand? It's like these liberals never got picked for the kickball team in grade school so now they're spending their time trying to legislate their way to popularity.

 

The Apprentice Recap - Week 13 (See who got fired)

[Posted by james]

We've been doing American Idol recaps and people seem to like them, so why not try an Apprentice recap? I've been meaning to try doing one for a while now, and since I find myself sitting here tonight with a choice between 1) reading securities regulation and 2) trying an "experimental" recap, the choice isn't hard.

moneymoneymoneymoney-MONEY...almight-eey-dollah....blah blah blah, blah blah. blah. moneeeeey.

We open back in the suite with Tana and Craig guessing that Bren will be the one fired. "I've seen him on tasks and he's a big zero," opines Tana. Take that, Bren, no more Mark Kay for you! Of course we all know that Chris was fired last week. OOhs and Ahhs when Bren and Alex walk in.

"I can tell ya after this last boardroom I'm lower than whale crap at the bottom of the Ocean, in Mr. Trump's eyes," says Bren. Oh, those charming southern boys. Bren and Alex tell us how much they love each other. I'm touched.

Riiiing! Rona tells the contests to get to Trump's office right away so that he can introduce them to 2 important executives - 2 folks from Staples. Ok, they just showed a shot of Trump sitting in his office - I kid you not, he has a framed headshot of himself sitting behind his desk. Wow. (Why am I so surprised by that?) Staples does $13 Billion per year in sales.

The Task: create a new office product for clearing up clutter. The team that makes the most innovative product wins. I can tell you right now that I'm picking Craig to shine on this task - he isn't a great communicator, but I think he's the most "practically-creative," meaning that he knows what people want.

Alex is the PM on team Alex-Bren. A-B. Ummm, do you really need a PM on a 2 person team? Bren immediately starts giggling and doing what Alpha Alex tells him. Team A-B just became team Alpha-Beta. (I really do think that Bren has a crush on Alex, btw.)

Craig is the PM on team Craig-Kendra-Tana. Kendra is being her usual huffy self, complaining about Craig. Same-old-same-old.

OK, Alex makes an executive decision that team AB is going to skip the scheduled meeting with the judges, and he tries to raise them by tele instead. Foolish. Team CKT shows up their scheduled meeting to a voiceover of Tana saying that they wanted to find out all they wanted to find out about the company, and admits that she wants to schmooze a little. Why college-educated Alex thought that this could be blown off, I'll never know. Tana asks the exactly right question: "Is there a slogan that Staples has that we don't know about?" Yes there is, she's told - "That was easy." Huh, who knew?

As usual, Tana is in a Staples doing market research. OK, I have to admit, I don't like Tana all that much - I find her really, really annoying - but she's bright, and she's good. She's been my pick to win the job in the end for a while now. CKT hits on their idea: Stackables. Good idea, I think. She's right, offices like organizer thingies.

Team Alpha Beta is doing some silly little table thing. Alpha Beta has just become team Already Beaten.

We get a shot of the finished table design - intricate, big, bulky. No one is going to want that. Then we see the other team's stackables. Simple yet functional. wow, I'm having flashbacks of that Home Depot week when Craig's Box kicked the Kitchen Island's butt.

Craig and Kendra at each other's throat. I don't like either of those 2. Tana just ignores it and eats a Hamburger. Heh.

CKT presents their stackable-thingy by way of a little skit. The executives really seem to like it.

Team Already Beaten is up now, and they're calling their stupid little table thing the "pack rat." Alex tells us how much he things that everyone "really liked" their idea. Umm, I'll take "What are people not thinking for $200 please?" Execs speak: "I don't see how this is useful." You and me both, buddy.

The Donald arrives. Team Already Beaten says that they think that they "killed" the other team. The executive has almost nothing good to say about the "pack rat." Needless to say, team CKT and the stackable thingy killed em.

Reward: Breakfast at the Rainbow Room on top of Rockefeller Center with George and Carolyn. Hmm, I wonder how far the reward goes, i.e. will they be calling them in the morning or nudging them? I guess we'll find out after the commercial.

Drat, no nudging. Chit chat amongst themselves. George says that he's known the Donald since Trump was in his 20's. blah blahn.

Snap to team Awesome Buddies going on their final date - Alex says "I thought it would be nice if we went for a walk and nice cup of coffee, one last time." I'm not even kidding. Eerie.

In the most shocking Rose Ceremony ever. Boardroom time. They tell us that Alex is a lawyer. They tell us that Bren is a lawyer. They tell us that George is a lawyer. Oh, this should be fun. George, Carolyn and the Donald have nothing nice to say about the pack-rat. They all just keep saying "I just don't get it." Awesome Buddies keep insisting that their product was better. Oy vey.

Trumpism of the week: "Branson went after me, I killed him. Cuban went after me, I killed him."

Bren inexplicably says that he'd rather be with his family that getting his butt chewed out by the Donald.

Bren : You're fired.

Not a big shocker. Should be smooth sailing from here on out - only 3 more weeks till Tana wins it all.

 

Putting Pirates in Prison

[Posted by james]

A new bill, expected to be signed into law by President Bush, will provide up to three yeas of jail time for movie pirates.

`Sec. 2319B. Unauthorized recording of Motion pictures in a Motion picture exhibition facility

`(a) Offense- Any person who, without the authorization of the copyright owner, knowingly uses or attempts to use an audiovisual recording device to transmit or make a copy of a motion picture or other audiovisual work protected under title 17, or any part thereof, from a performance of such work in a motion picture exhibition facility, shall--

`(1) be imprisoned for not more than 3 years, fined under this title, or both; or

`(2) if the offense is a second or subsequent offense, be imprisoned for no more than 6 years, fined under this title, or both.

The Family Entertainment and Copyright Act of 2005 also contains provisions that will allow movie theater owners to detain suspected movie pirates, and it gives them immunity from civil or criminal actions that might arise from that detainment.

`(d) Immunity for Theaters- With reasonable cause, the owner or lessee of a motion picture exhibition facility where a motion picture or other audiovisual work is being exhibited, the authorized agent or employee of such owner or lessee, the licensor of the motion picture or other audiovisual work being exhibited, or the agent or employee of such licensor--

`(1) may detain, in a reasonable manner and for a reasonable time, any person suspected of a violation of this section with respect to that motion picture or audiovisual work for the purpose of questioning or summoning a law enforcement officer; and

`(2) shall not be held liable in any civil or criminal action arising out of a detention under paragraph (1).

But wait! There's more!

In addition, the vitims of this heinous crime of video piracy will be able to submit a "Victim Impact Statement" to the court:

`(e) Victim Impact Statement-

`(1) IN GENERAL- During the preparation of the presentence report under rule 32(c) of the Federal Rules of Criminal Procedure, victims of an offense under this section shall be permitted to submit to the probation officer a victim impact statement that identifies the victim of the offense and the extent and scope of the injury and loss suffered by the victim, including the estimated economic impact of the offense on that victim.

So, in deciding how long to lock someone up for infringing another's copyright, the judge will take into account a statment from MGM saying "he really, really, really, hurt us. our lives will never be the same again! i hate him! i hate him! oh, that evil pirate!"

"now we can't afford to pay demi and ashton their promised $25 million! they're never going to settle for 24.9!"

I'm all for copyright protection - in fact, I'm even a soon-to-be Intellectual Property Lawyer - but excuse me if I don't shed a tear for the Columbia-Tristar on this one.

Illegally enter the country, get a Fake ID, then burglarize someone's house and you get in no trouble at all. But snap a few snapshots in a movie theater and you'll get sent to San Quentin for 3 years. Hmm, maybe the solution to the illegal immigration problem is to line the Rio Grande with camcorders and free tickets to Loews?

 

Anwar (finally) gets the Boot on American Idol - kicked off in Week 6 results show

[Posted by james]

Anybody want to read 50 pages about the history of the law of universal jurisdiction and the legality of the International Criminal Court? Didn't think so. I don't blame you - I didn't really want to write it. But, now that it's done, I can get back to writing about things that really matter, like what Ryan Seacrest is wearing and how much Anwar suX0rZ!

Hey, Kris is writing a recap too, be sure to check it out.

Results night, and Seacrest is here wearing a t-shirt under his suit jacket. If showed up to work like that I'd get... well, OK, that would be dressed up for me. My office has what you'd call a "relaxed" dress code.

Oh Lord, they're showing a clip in which Seacrest gets a star on Hollywood Blvd. I really hope this is a joke. Oh no, I don't think that it is. They're showing clips of the producers congratulating him... I wonder, is everyone in England named either Simon or Nigel? Sure seems that way.

Now clips of Seacrest in DC. Seacrest in New Orleans. Seacrest on a farm. Seacrest manhandling a flamingo. Hey, America, can we all agree to vote Seacrest off this week and give Anwar another shot?

Plug for the American Idol charity CD and a quick tribute to John Farrar. That guy is still around? How can you believe that's not magic? Oh, apparently he's something to do with this song that the Idol and 6 runner ups (read: losers) are singing "You can Shine." Never heard of it. Carrie Underwood apparently plays the guitar. OK, I forgive her crappy performances as of late. (I still don't forgive the vegetarian thing, though.) tivo-SKIP!

This week's Ford commercial is some weird psuedo-animation-CGI thing to the Stray Cats' "Rock this town." Hmmm, this whole animation is set in the 50's at a drive-in restaurant. Makes perfect sense that they picked an 80's song for it. (??)

Oh, Seacrest is separating the contestants into groups today, "far side" and "near side," but not telling us which group is which.

• Vonzell: team far.
• Federov: team near.
• Anwar: team near. (ok, at this point we know that "team near" is the bottom three." Federov knows it too, because he looks less than thrilled.
• Constantine: team far. (The mere mention of Constantine's name gets a huuuuuuge shout out from the audience. Like it or not people, he's in the final 2. Let's hear it for the teenie boppers!)
• Carrie: team far.
• Scott: team near. (Scott also looks less than thrilled)
• Bo Bice: team far. SAFE. Can I call it or can I call it?

Seacrest tells Bo to look at the 2 groups and to join the group that he thinks is the top group tonight. Bo gets up, casually struts over and stands between the 2 groups - awwww, everyone is a winner! they made a little cutsie!

gag.

Commercial break, Bo is sent to team far. Gee, no one saw that one coming. (Except for maybe Nadia, watching at home.)

Paula uses the phrase "tapping the heart strings." heh.

Anwar is gone. Gee, who could have predicted that?

Certainly not me.

Anwar retrospective time, I'm sure it'll be seen again one day in a courtroom.

But unless I'm picked for jury duty that day, I don't have to watch. So, that's enough for me.
Hat, out!

 

American Idol Voting Results-Who Got Voted Off-Week 6

[Posted by kris]

I see that Ryan, like a good boy, listened to me and put a nice, funky t-shirt on under his jacket tonight. Excellent. What is this power I have over reality television hosts? I don't know, but I like it.

Ooooh, Hat is recapping too. Check it out.

Paula is already giggling and is clearly intoxicated. This should be fun. I wonder if she drank her jealousy away because Seacrest has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame and, as far as I know, she doesn't. In any case, the Idol folks are getting the filler out of the way early tonight with a gentle roasting of Ryan. Does anyone else ever wonder what happened to Season One co-host Brian Dunkleman?

Time for the cheesy group number! Why do these always remind me of The Brady Bunch? I'm sure Federov could do the Peter part of "When It's Time To Change". Speaking of change, the Idols are not only singing, they're playing instruments, if they can. That's pretty cool. Carrie and Bo look like an especially attractive folk duo playing their acoustic guitars. How much cooler would this be if it were just the two of them doing a cover of "More Than Words"? This song? Oh, it sucks, but is that really any big surprise? It's something about shining. Apparently, the Idols will shine. Shine. Shine. Shine.

The Ford commercial features the Idols animated, JibJab style. They're rocking this town. Inside out. It's just as creepy as it sounds.

Now down to business. Ryan separates the contestants into two groups: the top four and the bottom three. I'm sure that whoever is with Constantine knows that they're safe. But let me tell ya, I wouldn't want to be in the group with Scott. The first six contestants are divided up and then Ryan makes Bo join what he thinks is the top group. Bo defiantly stands in the middle of the two groups. He's awesome. But we all know what the deal is. Vonzell, Carrie and Constantine are safe and Federov, Anwar & Scott are the bottom three. Those three were also the top three picks to get eliminated in our poll today. We have such smart readers. ;-)

And just like that, Anwar is eliminated. Harsh! I'm glad Federov is sticking around, but I can't say I'm looking forward to seeing Scott again next week. Blech. Scott and Gretchen from the Amazing Race are like reality TV cockroaches.

 

Top Ten Things John Tant Is Afraid To Write About

[Posted by John Tant]

Well, based on an email I received which launched the previous post, I thought I'd clarify what I'm actually too scared to write about:

10: The constitutionality of the income tax and how it relates to the 16th amendment, because I'm an accountant and former government employee and am therefore in on the conspiracy to fleece the American people with an illegal tax.

9: The shortcomings I've experienced with Windows-based machines, because to do so would be to endorse the superiority of the Macintosh.

8: The many people of the Islam faith who have not engaged in terrorist attacks, because it would damage the Republican talking point that Islam is evil.

7: Anything to do with Catholicism since it would expose the rank hypocrisy of Holy Mother Church and my willingness to go along with it.

6: Any suggestion that legalizing drugs will lead to more drug use, because that's just stupid dinosaur-type thinking.

5: Penguins.

4: A point by point rebuttal of the Brady Campaign's talking points, since they are so on target that doing so would expose me as an idiotic gun nut.

3: Homosexuality, homosexuality, homosexuality!

2: Treating every liberal-hyped scandal du jour with the seriousness it supposedly deserves, because doing so would be to acknowledge these very serious charges which are, of course, only grounded in principle and not partisan spite.

And the topic which scares me like no other:

1: Revising my list of five...because I like my house too much.

 

John Bolton...what's the deal?

[Posted by John Tant]

First, sorry for my prolonged absence. Real Life has a bad habit of intruding on my posting.

Anyway, I received an interesting note in my mailbag yesterday.

So why the silence about John Bolton? Too embarassed to mention it? To scared to bring it up? So much for your pseudointelectual rep. You're nothing but a hack and this confirms it.

I say interesting because of the premise. Because we aren't writing about something, that's taken as prima facie evidence that we must feel guilty or embarassed about it. Well I don't know about James, Kris, or Laura...but I haven't done anything about John Bolton because frankly I haven't been following the story.

I did spend some time last night doing some research on it, and frankly I'm hard pressed to even understand what the issue about Bolton is. As near as I can tell, he's being opposed because he's a conservative. Liberals tend to apply this standard as a test for fitness of office. Why, over the past few months (or years) we've seen this from the so-called Senate Minority leadership. Judge Pryor? Nope, he's conservative. Tom DeLay? Man, talk about conservative! Alberto Gonzales? Well, we'd like a hispanic guy there...but oops, he's conservative! And it's not just us. Pope Benedict XVI? Argh, he's too conservative to be a pope!

So I wandered around for some background on the guy, and one of the first things I saw was this article (via NRO's Corner). What's the complaint of the Washington Post?

John Bolton, President Bush's nominee for ambassador to the United Nations, desperately needs a haircut. It does not have to be a $600 Sally Hershberger cut. Bolton simply needs the basics. Tidy the curling, unruly locks at the nape of his neck, tame the volume at the crown, reel in the wings flapping above his ears, and broker a compromise between his sand-colored mop and his snow-colored mustache.

He needs to do this, not because he should be minding the recommendations of men's fashion magazines or grooming experts but because when he settled in before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee this week to answer questions about his record, his philosophy and his intentions at the U.N., he looked as though he did not even have enough respect for the proceedings to bother combing his hair -- or, for that matter, straightening his tie, or wearing a shirt that did not put his neck in a chokehold. Bolton was one wrinkled suit away from being an insolent mess.

So according to the WashPost Style section, he's to be opposed because he isn't stylish. And just step back and think about the story. To me it's the sort of thing you'd read in a high-school (or younger) underground newspaper, not a story in a presumed professional work. Even the "reporter's" rationalization insults our intelligence:

During this testimony, his hand was constantly reaching up to adjust his no-frills glasses. His attire was not merely bland but careless. His hair was so poorly cut, it bordered on rude. Bolton might well argue that appearance has nothing to do with capabilities. But it certainly can be a measure of one's respect for the job.

Give me a break. Because Bolton isn't some GQ-styled fashionista it all amounts to a lack of respect? From what I've seen of the guy, he's hardly what the article makes him out to be.

So dismissing that bit of silliness, I started looking deeper. Apparently the big complaint against the guy is that he's....mean. Barbara Boxer has stated that he's the wrong guy for a diplomatic post and that he needs anger management classes. Great, in addition to being an expert on self defense strategies, she's also a psychologist. But how does he have an anger problem? To illustrate, the committee questioned Thomas Fingar, who is the assistant secretary of state for the Bureau of Intelligence Research. Here's what he had to say about Bolton's anger management problem:

Q: Could you characterize your meeting with Bolton? Was he calm?

Fingar: No, he was angry. He was standing up.

Q: Did he raise his voice to you? Did he point his finger in your face?

Fingar: I don't remember if he pointed. John speaks in such a low voice normally. Was it louder than normal? Probably. I wouldn't characterize it as screaming at me or anything like that. It was more, hands on hips, the body language as I recall it, I knew he was mad.

Interesting. So he wasn't screaming. He wasn't violently angry. He stood there with his hands on his hips. Obviously this is incredibly disturbing. I mean, what if he had rubbed his forehead? Rolled his eyes? Maybe even a tiny head shake? This guy is a loose cannon, just ready to go off!

Or not.

Let's talk a little about what precipitated this extremely anger-ridden performance. Bolton was going to give a speech and wanted to mention some things about Cuba. One of the analysts looking the speech over (a guy by the name of Christian Westerman) saw a couple of things and questioned them. Bolton then told Westerman to send the language to a couple intel-types to see if he was using fair statements. He did so...but he also qualified the request with an analysis of his own, an analysis that disputed the statements.

Picture this. You're an intel guy. You get a request from Bolton's office to verify if a statement he wants to give is reasonable ("Castro has cooties!!!"). Attached to that request is a memo from the guy forwarding the request basically saying "Can you believe this guy is SO STUPID as to think Castro has cooties? Obviously he's way off base here! But the dumb guy with the bad haircut wants me to go through the motions of this, so could you just tell him he's being ridiculous?" What are you going to do? Well, likely you'll do what one of the guys did, which is call up Bolton on the phone and ask what the hell is going on. Bolton then asks Westerman what he's doing, and Westerman denies including anything with Bolton's request.

So why was Bolton angry? Because Westerman tried to sabotage Bolton's work and then lied about it. From the transcript, I'm thinking under those circumstances Bolton was actually very reserved. If one of my staff accountants tried to sabotage a financial report I was putting together and then later lied about it, there is no adequate verbal description to the dimension of pissed-off I would be inhabiting.</