March 30, 2007
Bracket Update #2
|[Posted by ]|
It's Final Four weekend! I'm rooting for Georgetown to defeat Florida. That'll give me second place (and around $250) in my office pool. As for the Dummocrats pool, here are the potential winners:
- Florida over Georgetown: kahoks wins
- Florida over Ohio State: SpringValley wins
- UCLA over Georgetown: Unabrewer wins
- UCLA over Ohio State: Unabrewer wins
- Ohio State over UCLA: again with the Unabrewer
- Ohio State over Florida: guess who? Unabrewer!
- Georgetown over Florida: PeteRyanDummocrat
- Georgetown over UCLA: PeteRyanDummocrat again
Good luck everyone!
March 28, 2007
American Idol Results Recap - Chris Sligh voted off
|[Posted by ]|
Confession kids: I was out celebrating a friend's birthday, so I missed all but the last 5 minutes of tonight's results show. All I saw were Gwen Stefani's sparkly hot pants jumpsuit and Phil, Haley and Sligh in the bottom three. Not surprisingly, Sligh was voted off.
So, did the crowd go crazy when Sanjaya was declared safe? Inquiring minds want to know!
March 27, 2007
Vital Idol - Gwen Gets the Karaoke Treatment
|[Posted by ]|
Ahhh…Nothing says spring like a Corona Light with lime, steamed asparagus and some good old AI. This week’s guest is Gwen Stefani – who I love despite occasional bad judgment in men, songs and hairstyles. I’m not sure why she’s a vocal coach, but who cares.
LaKisha – “Last Dance.” Cute dress, good but not great vocal, and she looks cute in her boots. I think she’s safe, and could still win if she starts singing songs from this decade.
Chris Sligh – “Every Little Thing She Does is Magic.” Oh, honey, as Kris would say, this just isn’t in your key. It sounds weak and not sexy, and if Sting is anything he is subtley strong and sexy (Did I mention I think Sting is one of my betrothed’s celeb look-alikes?). Back to Sideshow Sligh. It’s OK, I think it’s enough to keep him here another week, but I would not be shocked if he landed in the bottom three.
Gina Clarkson – “I’ll Stand By You.” She’s gone Clarkson this week. Smart move, it suits her range much better and isn’t scary. It’s still a bit High School Musical, but I’ll take what I can gets this season. She’s safe. Fiance says he can’t stand black nail polish and thinks it should be illegal, so he’s not voting for her.
Sangaya – “Bathwater.” It’s SUPERGAY and his brand of ponytail mohawk. He’s also kind of rocking one of my favorite songs ever. Until he flubs the word that is. Nevertheless it’s up-tempo and he’s having a good time. I hate to say it, but I think he’ll be making little girls cry next week.
Scrubnato – “True Colors.” When will mediocre girls learn they can’t touch Cindi Lauper. This is lame, boring and pathetic at once. She’s also dressed like a stripper trying to look classy, and she’s not fooling anyone either. But damn, she’s got legs for miles. Men, will you put your penises away this week and vote her off, please?
Dumbo – “Every Breath You Take.” Sounds good enough and he’s wearing a hat. I must say I’m a bit surprised, he’s hitting every note, the tone is great and he’s in the illusive “key.” Oh god, I think I’m rooting for Phil tonight
Melinda – “Heaven Knows???.” OK, stylist, if you’re really her friend, please don’t put her in leggings and a tie-dyeesque shirtdress. She’s perfect and it’s up-tempo, but I really want her to sing a Mary J. Blige song or something. She’s soooooo… safe.
Blake – “Love Song.” Meh. He sounds a bit like the guys who serenaded me after a night of drinking in college. This is a bit weak. I think he may be beatboxing his way to the bottom this week.
Jordin – “Hey Baby.” Hi Gwen, I’m gonna do your song, but a little less cool, OK? Nice outfit, I still think she’s trashing this song though. Alas, she’s safe.
Chris – “Don’t Speak.” He looks cute again. It’s very JT, which should make him very safe. It’s got a bit of a Wham! Vibe, but I can ignore that. He’s my second favorite boy of the night.
Dream boot: Scrubnato
Boot: Chris Sligh
March 22, 2007
Bracket Update #1
|[Posted by ]|
The NCAA tourney starts up again today so it's time to take a look at the standings in our pool. Right now, "Tray", "Unabrewer" and "KVBigSis" are tied for the lead. Unfortunately, KV's pick of Wisconsin will doom her to also-ran status. Speaking of stupid picks, my team, the Motion W's, is bringing up the rear. The only person I'm beating is Hat and he neglected to make his picks in time.
As for the ultimate winner, it's still anyone's (well, anyone but me, KV & Hat) race. Personally, I'm rooting for Ohio State (Big Ten loyalty), but I also have a good bracket in another pool that has Georgetown beating Florida in the final, so that'd be okay too.
How about you guys? Any good bracket stories to share?
March 21, 2007
American Idol Results Recap - Stephanie Voted Off
|[Posted by ]|
You know, this season of Idol was boring until last night. Crying Girl changed all of that. Thank God for Ashley. And Sanjaya ;-)
Peter Noone is back for a song. He's like George Harrison. He sings sweet, pleasant songs that you just can't help but like.
Results time. Dial Idol predicts that the bottom three will be made up of some combination of Timberfake, Sligh, Haley, Gina, Stephanie and Jordin (NO!). That's right folks. No Sanjaya. No Phil. Let's see if they're right.
Who's safe? Melinda, Phil & Blake (way to go, Dial Idol!). Sligh, Lakisha & Jordin are up next. They're all safe too (whew!). Also safe: Haley, Gina and...Sanjaya! I love how upset some people get about Sanjaya. It's okay. It's just a TV show.
Doing the math? If so, you know that the bottom two are Stephanie & Chris Richardson.
But before the offing, we get a treat. It's Lulu and "To Sir With Love". I heart this song, but what's up with her Olivia Newton-John-at-the-end-of-Grease getup?
Who will stay and who will go? Stephanie Edwards is going home. I'm not even a little bit surprised. Are you?
March 20, 2007
Vital Idol - British Invasion
|[Posted by ]|
Then there were 11
British Invasion night? Now I understand Shecrest’s wardrobe for the entire season – he’s been warming up for BI night. Lulu (“To Sir, With Love”) and Peter Somethingorother (“Mrs. Browne, I Want to Bang Your Daughter) are helping the kids tonight. I predict the people who can sing, will do well and the people who are tone-challenged will suck the monkey.
Scrubnato – “Tell Him.” Lulu nicely told her to work with her lousy voice and to go staccato – EG, honey, you can’t sing, so you better work it. And it’s another lousy high-school caliber talent show performance. But, her legs look great despite the formal shorts and she has nice hair. Sweet Jesus, America, please vote her out, we don’t need another DeGarmo.
JT.2.0 – “Don’t Let the Sun Catch You Cryin’.” Ohhhhh, it’s an acoustic joint. I think he gets a bit uglier every week, but I’m an old lady with discerning taste and a fondness for the razor. He’s sooooo safe this week.
Stephanie – “You Don’t Have to Say You Love Me.” Bad song choice, this is so not in her key. It’s way to high, I don’t think she has enough teeth to pull this off, and she’s wearing a sweetheart neckline. Ick. I think she may be gone this week.
Blake – “Time of the Season.” And Paula’s found her manmeat for the season. He sounds good, but he looks a bit red. I really just can’t see a mainstream beatboxer selling records. I used to be in the Blake camp, but I think I’m starting to grow weary of his tricks.
LaKisha – “Diamonds Are Forever.” Well, straightaway I can guess Simon will tell her her outfit looks bad. The vocals are good, but a bit boring and the band sounds like they’re playing for a porno movie. She’s still miles better than the rest of the crew so far.
Dumbo – “Tobacco Road.” Frat boy sings drunken karaoke. The end.
Jordin – “I Love Nothing?” She looks like she’s about to forget the words. Nice tone, good style, excellent use of vibrato. I think she’s showing up everyone else so far this show.
Sangaya – “You Really Got Me.” Wow. So bad, but at least he doesn’t look like a child molester this week. Word on the street is the Howard Stern is trying to do his version of vote for the worst with him.
Gina Clarkson – “Paint it Black.” Lulu must hate her. This is a bad key for her. Worst yet for Gina.
Chris Sligh – “She’s Not There.” Good song choice. I was worried he’s do “Cumbaya” or “Joy to the World.” A bit of a slow start, but he picked it up a bit on stage. He could have enunciated better, but otherwise, it’s OK. Amen.
Melinda – “As Long As He Needs Me.” Apparently her stylist has been reading my reviews and has styled her as the anti-Jackee this week. Vocally it’s very good, but boring. And what’s with the crying girl in the audience? Is she being paid? She’s safe.
Boot – Stephanie
Dream Boot - Scrubnato
March 14, 2007
American Idol Results Recap - Brandon Voted Off
|[Posted by ]|
The night kicks off with a recap and a medley. I missed last night's show, so this is my first glimpse of Sanjaya's hair. Ha! During the Diana Ross medley, two singers actually made me look up from my computer because they sounded good: Blake & Sligh (I know, I can't believe it either).
And the bottom three are...Brandon, Phil and....
Diana Ross is in the house. I'm unimpressed, unmoved and uninterested, even though she's wearing orange feathers. You'd think the orange feathers would get to me, but I'm stronger than you think.
Sanjaya joins the bottom three to cheers. Sanjaya? Really? I doubt the Dial Idol folks are that far off.
Phil is safe, so America either hates the boring or the creepy. And, to gasps from the crowd, Sanjaya is safe and Brandon Rogers is going home. Oh come on, did you really think Sanjaya would get voted off already? Remember John Stevens & Kevin Covais, my friends.
March 13, 2007
Vital Idol - Me and Mrs. Ross
|[Posted by ]|
Hey folks, sorry about the late evening post, but the PMW had some business with a karaoke dive bar and a few dozen light beers in honor of the late, great lead singer of Boston.
After wooing a crowd of 10 drunks with the likes of Pat Benetar, Lita Ford, No Doubt and Cheap Trick, I’m ready to judge other singers. Fun!
And crazy drunk-driving Diana Ross is coaching the kids tonight. Don’t get me wrong she’s a legend. But much like Beyonce, she’s a legend who was created with a lot of hard work and production. Now on with the ISCC implosion.
Brandon – Bad song choice. Nice tone, be he’ll never measure up to the massive production of the wall of sound. It’s a bit like Eddie Murphy’s 80s song career, and for Christ’s sake, cut your goddamn hair.
Melinda – Perhaps her stylist has heeded my death threats and toned down the crazy dressing. While she still looks so like Jackee from 227, she sounds good, solid and is not embarrassing herself. Very Gladys Knight.
Chris – Sideshow Bob, Jesus called and he wants his vibe back. I hope all of the evangelists out there let their kids stay up late enough to vote for you. Well, not really. If this was Jesus Idol, you would be my pick, but your inability to sing anything popular annoys me.
Gina – “Lovechild!” I love this song, and she sounds OK, but like I said singing a group song is hard. She looks like she’s trimmed down a bit and is really going for it, a la Clarkson. Gosh America, do you want another Clarkson or another MaryJGladysHouston. The end is a bit rough. But overall, she did a very good job at a deceptively hard song.
Sangaya – Holy buckets of mousse, Batman. It’s the gayest man alive and he ain’t afraid to show it. He has, however, picked the best song of the night. It’s easiest and good to sing with or without backing vocals. However, I think the crazy Cher hair is enough to get him booted this week.
Scrubnato – Bitch has some guts picking a song like this. She is TERRIBLE. This is the epitome of really bad karaoke. I’m surprised Ms. Ross didn’t smack the hell out of her during rehearsals. Cute dress though.
Dumbo – I really love this song. And while I can’t get over his ears, I think this may be the least wretched and best adapted song of the night. Yep, I said it, I actually approve of Dumbo tonight.
Lakisha AKA Kiki – Nice tone, good power, but boring. The dress is also really bizarre.
Blake – Holy shit, Blake and Shecrest are twins! He’s modernized “Keep Me Hangin’ On.” What can I say, I’m a sucker for breakdancing. Vocals are a bit weak and by far the weakest Blake showing to date.
Next up, I don’t remember who the hell this is – Fiance thinks the dress is horrible. She sounds pretty good. It’s a bit R&B for this crowd and the long holds aren’t the best. However, I think she’s loads better than most of the crop tonight.
JT2.0 – Nice moves, but it’s very cruise ship. But he looks adorable and sounds pretty good. And it looks like he’s bringing down the house. Please shave next week, honey.
Lovechild – Dinosaur Power Ballads rule! Well, not really. This is boring as hell.
P.S. If I were to do a Supremes/Ross song, “I would do Stop in the Name of Love” or “Someday, We’ll Be Together.”
Dream Boot: Scrubnato
March 11, 2007
Stop! Bracket Time
|[Posted by ]|
Happy Selection Sunday. As is our custom here at Dummocrats, we've put together a Yahoo! Sports basketball tourney pool. Join in the fun here. The info you need to play:
Group ID: 78509
|[Posted by ]|
Last year, I made a special icon for each American Idol contestant. I used a contestant's icon the week after they were voted off. When Taylor won, we were stuck using his "Just for Men" themed icon for the next year.
With the final 12 chosen, it's time to bust out some new icons!
It's pretty obvious who most of these icons belong to, but there may be one or two that'll have you wondering (make your guesses in the comments). If it means anything, it was a lot easier to come up with icons for the guys than it was to find something to represent the girls. They may be sucky singers, but I think the audience knows more about the men. Will that help in the voting? I guess we'll see come Wednesday.
March 08, 2007
American Idol Results Recap - The Final 12
|[Posted by ]|
It's a hot one tonight as the show kicks off with a Medley of that modern, current and hip song "Stuck in the Middle with You". Next week: "Brandy". Other than proving that nearly all of the Idols suck, the medley features a historic moment as Brandon proves that it is possible for a black man to do the "white man's overbite".
Let's get rid of some people! Safe: LaKisha, Blake, Sligh, Jordin (whew!) & Phil (boo!). Not so safe: Jared Cotter. You know, it's a bad sign when your introduction is greeted with nothing more than polite applause.
But enough about Jared. Let's bestow more praise on The Chosen One: Melinda. She's safe, of course. And so is Brandon---oooh, which means that Sundance or Sanjaya is OUT. Assuming, of course, that Timberfake is safe. He is. And so is Gina.
Carrie Underwood in the house. I'm not a big fan of her music, but she seems like a lovey person, so yay her. Although, tonight she looks a little less sweet and a little more, uh, slutty than normal. In any case, Carrie makes Pickler look like the huge fake (in so many ways) she is, so that's cool.
More culling. Antonella & Stephanie hit the stage together. Antonella Barba, by the way, looks absolutely gorgeous tonight, but she's out and Stephanie-of-the-Pretty-Dresses is in.
Next up for judgement: Hayley & Sabrina. Scrubnato is in and an actual good singer, Sabrina Sloan, is gone. Of course, she's really boring so I don't actually care.
Time for Idol's big announcement. In addition to exposing us to horrific singing and nonsensical judging, Idol is going to preach to us about Africa and poor people in America. Oh, goodie! As if Idol didn't have enough filler... But enough with my cynicism. It's nice for the Idol people and sponsors to try to make a positive difference, so look for big things during "Inspirational Week" from the Final Six. And did I hear that Bono will be on the show?
Ah, but who won't be there with Bono? Sanjaya or Sundance? Sundance Head is out! Sanjaya lives to creep another day! Awesome! I love America. USA! USA! USA!
March 07, 2007
Vital Idol - Girls Rule, Boys Drool
|[Posted by ]|
Vital Idol – Hos from different area codes. This is my homage to Ludacris. An unfortunate fella got my friends and I drunk on whiskey before I played my sad VCR replay. True to my Irish Midwestern roots I am too cheap to buy this Tivo I hear so much about.
Jordin Sparks – I love Pat Benetar, but this is just good bad karaoke. I’m digging the hair and SITC necklace, but still this is pretty lame.
Sabrina – She’s serious tonight, furrowed brow and all, but damn, she tries to tackle a group song. Sounds OK, nice hair, but she is not En Vogue and she just vibes her way through the song and lets the background singers do all the work. Weak.
Barbarella – Still tonedeaf, yet fabulously Degarmoesque. No skills and can’t pay the bills, but the coasties will keep voting for her sorry ass. Nice lip gloss and hooker boots.
Haley Scrubnato – I think this is Faith Hill, anyhoo it sucks and it’s still very high school musical. She also looks a little trashy in the Shakira rip-off top.
Stephanie – Nice dress! But she’s really pulling the Beyonce tone and while most people thing that’s a good thing, I don’t. I’m fairly certain Melinda and Lakisha will eat her for breakfast.
Lakisha – Nice. Beautiful tone, soulful and her dress is flattering. And she’s discoved the flat iron.
Gina – Likes trolls and pickles. She also likes to think she can sing like Amy Lee. Very bizarre fashion choice, but she’s holding up pretty well, even though her tone sucks. I think she needs to sing some KC and get the hero worship over with.
Melinda – Nice dress, song and hair. She has pipes and can really rock any song she decides to sing. I think she is by far the best singer this year.
Bottom Two: Scrubnato, Barbarella
Boot: Scrubato, Jordin
March 06, 2007
Vital Idol - Worst Night Yet
|[Posted by ]|
Due to technical difficulties my VCR keeps cutting out since I taped this week’s Idol over an old copy of “Vision Quest,” that sweet movie from the 80s about wrestling where Matthew Modine is chasing old taco.
Adding to my distress, I have an aubergine bruise on my knee from biting it on an icy sidewalk today. I can’t wait for the mercury to rise so I may once again cavort around Madison and bask in the Midwestern soleil, tailgate and break out the charcoal grill.
At any rate, my tape may be eaten at any time and go the way of Nixon, so this review may be incomplete.
Blake – Hmmmm… I really loved 311 back in the day, but this is really unimpressive. He looks cute in camel-colored pants and is dancing well, so I think he’s safe.
Sanjaya – He’s discovered the flat iron, how exciting! This is really lame and I hate John Mayer, a true glacier of mediocrity. His tone is a little irritating and he looks a bit constipated. I just hope somebody will neuter him before he starts molesting young boys.
Danceswithsuck – Well, he’s not singing a song his mom got laid too, but he’s no Eddie Vedder. The higher key really does him no favors and takes all of the grit out of the song. This guy is like a roach that won’t go away, someone kill him please.
Chris – OK, nice song choice, but it exposes his weak vocals and lack of vocal chops. Randy and Paula are clearly not lucid tonight, as they give him tall props for a weak rendition of a country song.
Sexual Chocolate – Looking luscious as ever, Jared is back with some Stevie Wonder. Oh no, he sounds like Wayne Brady tonight. But he’s still foxy, there’s no way he’ll get vote out this week.
Brandon – Other than the Members Only jacket and bad hair, he’s looking cute and casual tonight. Nice, up-tempo song and he sounds good with the backup singers. It’s definitely not a showstopper, but I think it’s good enough to keep him around for another week.
Phil Stacey – He finally covered up his Bullwinkle-sized ears for a performance. Good call. Now that we can’t see his ears from space, we can concentrate on his vocals. OK, he still looks creepy and sounds a bit like Jim Carrey’s lady bodybuilder character on “In Living Color.” Bad tone, out of key and all over the place. I think this may be enough to send him packing.
Chris Sligh – Praise Jesus! Amen. Tell it to the mountain. Nice tone for Jesus music.
March 04, 2007
Bumper Stickers & Polite Society
|[Posted by ]|
I was driving around town yesterday and noticed that the car in front of me was full of various liberal and feminist-themed bumper stickers. Being this is Madison, that's not at all unusual. But one bumper sticker caught my eye, got my blood boiling and made me want to rear end the witch (really, her other car was a broom, the bumper stickers said so):
I like your Christ
I do not like your Christians
They are so unlike your Christ
What drives people to display such an incredibly rude & insulting message on their car? Where's the tolerance? Where's the respect for diversity? Just imagine what this woman would think of a similarly intolerant message targeted at Hindus, Buddhists, Jews, Muslims or (gasp!) Wiccans?
I was mulling the mentality that would lead someone to insult perfect strangers with their car when I noticed that the new car in front of me not only had a USA-themed "One nation, under God" sticker on the window, it also had a license plate holder which proclaimed "Got Christ? It's HELL without Him!!"
Is it wrong to wish that the witch and the God warrior would get into an accident with each other?
I understand the need to show your allegiance to something. My closet of Wisconsin-themed t-shirts, sweatshirts & flip flops is ample evidence. However, there's a huge difference between proclaiming your love of Wisconsin basketball and proclaiming your hatred of Christians.
Whatever happened to the idea that you shouldn't discuss politics or religion in polite society? Can we please revive that, at least for bumper stickers, before I get into an "accident"?
March 01, 2007
American Idol Results Recap - Down to the Sweet 16
|[Posted by ]|
I'd like to dedicate this recap to my late grandmother, who was a fine singer back in her day.
I also like puppies.
The votes are in, but let's drag this out a bit. So first, it's medley time! I love the medleys. "Joy to the World" shows us that:
- Sligh can't sing uptempo songs
- Timberfake's voice gets lost in the background
- Antonella sounds pretty good (really)
- Stephanie has fantastic taste in frocks
- Gina took Simon's advice and dressed "edgier" tonight
- Phil took the world's advice and wore a hat
Time for you to go home...
The guys are up first. Safe: Phil, Sligh, Sundance, Blake & Jared. Not so safe: Nick "vote for" Pedro. My prediction was correct. Yay me.
On the distaff side, Stephanie, Gina (whew), Sabrina & Doolittle are safe. Alaina Alexander is going home. America doesn't want to make nice with her. Heh. But awww, Alaina is so emotional that she can't really do her sing out. That's understandable. As cruel as it is to the audience to make us listen to her again, it's also quite cruel to crush her dreams and then immediately ask her to perform.
Ugh. Kellie "Kick" Pickler's in the house. Her dress is a lovely shade of blue and she's wearing some nice silver pumps, but (and the gentlemen in the crowd will surely disagree) she's showing way too much breast. Leave something to the imagination, kiddo. Her song is "I Wonder". It's not that bad, if you like fake twangy country. Unfortunately, I don't, so all I'm wondering is when this will finally end.
Two down, two to go. Safe guys: Timberfake & Brandon. It's down to Sanjaya and A.J. The show's going for suspense here, but as anyone who's visited Dial Idol knows, A.J. Tabaldo is voted off. Sanjaya, welcome to the world of John Stevens. Oh, and my boot prediction was correct. I rock.
Girls: Lakisha - safe. Hayley - safe. It's down to Antonella, Jordin & Leslie. Antonella is safer than safe. America loves a vixen. Leslie Hunt is gone. Some of our readers are no doubt devastated.
Ryan tries to make us feel guilty for how we voted. Paula, the person who constantly talks about how people look lectures us that it's a "singing competition". Hypocrite. In theory, shouldn't the top 24 of a 100,000 or so aspiring Idols all be good? If there's crappy singers still in the competition. It's the judges' fault for putting them through in the first place.
Anyway, we'll be back next week. Be sure to do your homework.
Vital Idol - You've Got Homework
|[Posted by ]|
Believe it or not, I used to be quite the writer. But with a mix of wine, work stress and extreme ear rage, I guess a lady can slip a bit.
So next week I vow to not use the words/phrases "totally," "for sure," and "oh no she/he didn't."
Instead, I'm asking you faithful Dummos to give me 5 words which must be used in each night's recaps.